Do I Have An End or Beginning
What Is The End and When Is Your Beginning
Two interesting questions were posed to me while in San Diego this last week. The first is, "What do you feel happens when you die?". Once I answered this question the second was released upon me and put me at odds with my upbringing, but we will get to that later.
Let's start where I did with the first. "What happens when you die?" This question is specifically poignant and involved due to one word, "you". What do you believe? Not what have you been told to think by science, not what have you been told by your perspective religion or social setting, but rather what is your deepest understanding of life taking all things into consideration? What happens at the end of your life? Does your body die and that is it? Is your consciousness finite? The energy, that we as living beings quantifiably possess, does it simply dim and fade when our battery runs dry and the machine stops? Do we have a soul that continues on to another plain of existence? It can seem a simple question as well, a knee jerk reaction, programmed, but what do you believe?
I have spent much time speaking of this with a friend and even more time pondering it on my own. I believe everything is connected. It begins with energy. Everything I understand and do not regarding the world I can experience physically, is energy. From the electron to the scope of the known universe. Energy is experienced in waves. Whether speaking of light, color, emotion, matter, electricity, or thoughts, it does not make a difference how energy is experienced. We even use this term to explain the day to day, "life comes in waves". In trying to respond to the question honestly I have to say my life force or soul is a wave. In saying this I believe there is a frequency to all waves and that they do not end but rather change energy form while retaining their prospective frequencies.
I believe in the terminology "right and wrong," as well as "positive and negative", so I will use these to explain further. In this form of life, we have all experienced other humans in a positive and negative way. The manner in which we live our lives and the decisions we make determine the effect on the world around us. Energy is transferred from one to another in either a positive or negative manner. The right and wrong choices we make is in direct correlation to the flow of our lives. I offer you two simple examples within recent human history that, though extreme, speak volumes to my point. They are Ted Bundy and Martin Luther King Jr. One must only study each of these men to gain a greater understanding of my point. The whole of each of these separate lives were lived on extremely adverse decisions. The frequency of the entity's wave affects not only the tangible but also the ethereal world. In explaining this point, I can speak only from personal knowledge. I have experienced places that pass their energy on in a way that I can only explain through feelings. I have sensed what can be described as a cold, troubled, and sometimes frightening awareness of the energy of a place or person; a sense of such discomfort that every fiber of my being rejects me being there. I have also experienced the antithesis, one where everything about my location was not only in harmony but invigorating, and a phenomena of epiphany and insight that brought with it the sensation of unmatched inter-connectivity and understanding. The energy of a person or place is often spoken of but I believe it is not necessarily the level of energy, rather the frequency of the wave. This is the frequency of the soul or spirit if you will.
So my answer to the question, "what happens when you die?", is simply this. I do not die. To die is to pass out of existence. Energy does not cease to exist. It merely changes form. I am a specific frequency of wave, unlike any other; as are you. Taking into account our cognitive ability to make choices, the decision as to what frequency we exist is up to all of us. It affects today and the physical life we understand, tomorrow, and the moment in time before our current selves.
This brings me to the second question. "What do you consider the beginning of your existence?" I found myself completely confused by this question. Was it when my mother gave birth to me? Was it when I was conceived? Admittedly, I have never thought of my beginning. When asked of me, I was confounded by the implications as I thought of my answer to the previous question. I have no end because energy does not cease to exist. If it does not have a point at which it terminates, how can it have a beginning? It is difficult for me to accept this line of thought without contradicting both how I was raised and the earlier statements regarding personal beliefs and not teachings or social setting; one where I have no beginning and no end. To say such a thing in certain religious circles is heresy. I was raised in a conservative baptist christian home, brought up believing there is only one God, and God created all things,"...the heaven and the earth...". Creation is the bringing of something into existence, or something from nothing. Interestingly, God has always existed, so it could be argued that there was not "nothing", rather there was God.
So begins the stripping away of things. God created our physical world and he exists in eternity. Energy is never ending and therefore has no beginning, existing in a state of eternity. In eternity time is of no use because "now" never happens. The moment is the past, present, and future, just as an electron can occupy separate space in the same moment. This is possible and proven, yet we misunderstand because as we observe the moment we confine, and separate this particle in our minds from everything around it. In the truth of things, it exists as a wave in multiple times and space, as do we. I exist as energy, therefore I have no end nor beginning. My current physical body is thirty nine years old, in the way we make sense of time. However, my energy wave, my frequency wave knows no such constraints. I am not God per se, but rather a part of Him. I am a part of Nature and all that we know and do not know of the universe, which I believe to be just another part of the whole; all connected, all energy, all waves. So, I am. No beginning and no end. I am a wave of energy operating at a specific frequency. That frequency carries on through eternity affecting the energy patterns it interacts with. I interact with all energy patterns of the whole. In this current energy form that involves a smile and understanding of happiness, right and wrong, and the practice of personal ethics; I sit and write about the flow of my life. So I guess I am in fact a smile as I wave. What is your way? What is your wave?