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Don't You Just Hate Road Works

Updated on September 30, 2015

Road Works

Have you noticed that the council, or the powers-that-be in charge of road maintenance, have a nasty habit of allowing the roads to be dug up at the most stupid times? Not only do the roads get dug up, but the streets get blocked, as I will explain: People digging up the roads, deliberately trying to delay you and for what purpose? Just to fix a pipe that probably was working fine already. Or is it, that they are secretly conspiring to cause mayhem and disruption to you because, somewhere down the line, you've offended a person in a shop, who happens to be the wife or friend of someone in the council, that is incharge of road developments and has decided to have you followed. When they've found out your address they subsequently send in the road works! The funny thing is that once the road maintenance workers appear, you never see them actually do any work, yet you are disturbed by the noise and somehow, a great big hole has appeared in the middle of the road with barricades, cones, minefields, gun turrets, more cones, JCBs and an army of people in yellow helmets observing and measuring it!


Scenario 1

To make it worse - you're caught in one of two scenarios -

You're stuck in a queue of car and bus traffic that is stationary and going no further than the bumper of the car ahead of you. At the same time, you're being tortured by the sound of the, so-called, music playing (at the maximum volume, that could even reach the planet Jupiter) from the car behind you. The song playing was apparently made in a recording studio, which is debatable, as the singer is clearly making the sound of someone undergoing "unanaesthetised, dental surgery." But, you are reluctant to ask the person in the car behind to turn down the music, as they would not be able to hear you. So you put on the radio and some "inbred half-witted fool" states the obvious: "There are roadworks on your street, with delays of up to 3 hours. We are sorry for the inconvenience." Funny that! Isn't it??? Yet, they're about as sorry as the banker who caused the financial meltdown (that were still paying for), whilst they are having a whale of a time in their mansions and yachts abroad! I'm sure they're "SO SORRY"!


Scenario 2

You're trying to walk to your destination such as: your work, the shops, the doctor et cetera. But, as you walk down the street in the direction of the "War Zone" they call road works, you're confronted with an obstacle or two. You notice that the barricade around the new hole in the road seems to stretch all the way to the pavement, which really happens to be a good distance from the road and has blocked your intended route. This is, somewhat, bizarre as the workmen are bound to know that humans are not reincarnated lemmings! Or do they? Do you think, that they believe there is going to be a mass exodus to jump into the newly created hole in the middle of the road. Some old woman on a zimmer frame is just going to go for it! She's lost the will to continue to push her zimmer and decided to chuck herself in?? Or maybe some school children might think it's a portal to Narnia and take the plunge? Honestly why do they need to block the pavement?! Now there's an idiot in a yellow hat behind the barricade making gestures at you to cross the road (most impolite ones too). So you decide to head to a crossing, or they may have been super-evil and blocked the crossing with the barricade? The worst part about crossing the road is that you didn't intend to cross the road in the first place. Your destination is on the same side of the road! But, try explaining that to the "Fool", with the yellow hat on making the gestures. So you try to find a crossing, don't you? Suddenly, you notice one behind you or in front of you. You decide to walk to the crossing and just as you go to press the "Bloody Button!" there's a cover over it that says "Out of use, due to roadworks"! This is due to the fact that some seditious, disingenuous little man has sneaked behind you and cut off the crossing, just to prolong the agony. So you manage to keep calm, for a few minutes anyway, but now comes the ultimate challenge. You have to chance it! Run across the road and pray that the cars will slow down and let you pass (which they do not). Eventually you get across the road but so far down you have the whole brutal process to undergo again re-crossing the road.

See What I Mean?!


You see you can't win, can you? Disruption is one of the most unfair, cruel, annoyances in existence!


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