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E.G.G Episode 32: Clash of Titanium

Updated on March 27, 2015

AND THERE CAME A DAY, A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER. WHEN THREE FRIENDS ROSE FROM THEIR DOOM TO FIGHT ON, VOWING NEVER AGAIN TO GIVE IN TO THE FORCES OF EVIL. ON THAT DAY, E.G.G WAS REBORN.

"What are these? Entries from some girl's diary? This is a waste of my time! Still, Miguel keeps sneaking in here after hours, so they must mean something. What are you up to O'Hara..."

Previously, on E.G.G...

Alchamax Digital Translator Version 12.0

Welcome: Sloan, Walker.

Now translating document into digital copy.

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Celeste Aoki: Diary Entry 6

March 27, 2015

Dear Mom,
Ugh! I’m so angry! I am so angry! So Hawkeye from the Avengers come into E.G.G Base with a group of new heroes. Awesome right? WRONG! It was a disaster! Auntie Acacia kept stepping on Wasp, (I don’t know why she kept shrinking if she knew she was gonna get stepped on!). Harry kept peeking in on Scarlet Witch when she was in the shower, and in turn she kept doing mean spells on him! (I would too though, I guess…) Hawkeye broke Mr. Wesbtrook’s PlayStation 4 (I swear I saw him crying!) and this stupid tiger girl drank all the milk! Milk meant for MY cookies! I’m serious, the sooner these jerks leave, the better.

Much frustration,

Celeste




End of translation.

Goodbye.


Click here to read E.G.G Episode 31: The West Coast Avengers

Click here for the Episode 31 Q&A

Episode 32

-Clash of Titanium-

It had been a week since the West Coast Avengers moved in. In a conference room, Josh was standing behind a podium, and mostly everyone else was sitting at a large table.

“Just waiting on a few more people.” He said. The doors opened and Ant-Man guided Wasp in, who had her arm and leg in a cast and was walking on crutches.

“Easy Jan…” He said, as they sat down. Vision flew through the door. He looked to see the only available seat was next to Jocasta.

“What are the odds?” He said to himself as he sat next to her.

“Vision.” She said.

“Jocasta.” He replied. She held out a cup.

“Fresh lubricant?”

“I am fine, thank you.”

“As you wish.” She said, sipping it.

“Alright, we’re all here!” Josh said. Hawkeye blew a bubble with his gum and loudly popped it. “Great, let’s get started. So, Hawkeye and the gang have been here for a week now. He said his HQ would be done in a day, but oh well. Anyway, in that time, some things have happened. We’ve invaded each other’s privacy,” Wanda glared at Harry, who looked away. “Locked people in closets,” Tigra growled at Celeste. “Insulted each other’s intelligence,” Eileen looked over at Ant-Man, who pretended not to notice. “Disregarded one another’s feelings,” Vision and Jocasta awkwardly looked at each other. “Stepped all over each other,” Wasp inhaled deeply, and Acacia sunk in her seat. “And hurt people close to us.”

“It was a game system.” Hawkeye said.

“Shut up Hawkeye!” Josh shouted. He stopped, then took a deep breath. “See what I did there? There was some hostility on my part, and some sarcasm on his. But I’m willing to put it behind me. Look at Allyson and War Machine. They’ve been talking to each other all week! If I were her boyfriend, I’d be jealous.”

“Good thing you’re not.” Allyson said. Rhodey laughed quietly.

“Right. Anyway, we’ve been rude to each other since day one, and I think if these guys are gonna continue to bunk with us, we need to make a gesture of peace, on both sides. Clint?” Josh held out his hand. Hawkeye sighed, stood up, and shook Josh’s hand. “Good, see? Now, I think everyone should apologize to each other. Who wants to start?” Celeste sighed.

“I’m sorry I locked you in the closet.” She said to Tigra. Tigra hissed at her.

“Greer,” Hawkeye said. Tigra growled under her breath.

“Sorry I drank all the milk.” She said, folding her arms.

“Good!” Josh exclaimed. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Who’s next?”

“I’m sorry for walking in on you,” Harry apologized to Scarlet Witch. “All seven times.”

“You should be, pervert.” She replied.

“Ahem.” Josh said. She rolled her eyes.

“Sorry for making you blind.” She said. Harry raised his eyebrows.

“And?” He asked.

“And turning you into a frog, giving you the chicken pox, taking away your mouth, setting you on fire, making you bald, and turning you into an 80-year-old man. Happy?”

“Wow.” Josh whispered.

“Janet,” Acacia said. “I am so, so, so sorry I stepped on you.”

“Me too.” Josh added.

“Me three.” Harry said. Wasp took a deep breath.

“It’s okay, I’m healing. Slowly.” She said. Ant-Man sighed.

“Eileen, I’m sorry I’m smarter than you.” He said.

“Smarter than- Why I oughta…”

“Eileen!” Josh said. She grumbled under her breath.

“Sorry I squashed your ants.” She said angrily.

“I apologize for frightening you.” Jocasta said to Vision. “I did not know how to properly express my feelings.”

“I forgive you.” Vision said.

“Aw,” Josh said. “See what happens when we all act like friends? We all get along! So, can we stop all this fighting amongst ourselves?” Everyone mumbled in agreement. “Good.” Suddenly Jocasta popped up.

“Alert.” She called. “Syndicate activity detected. Threat level, 9.”

“9?” Josh asked. “Acacia deep fried their leader, they shouldn’t even be a 0.5!”

“Threat level increased by super villain lieutenant. Villain identity: Boris Bullski, aka Titanium Man.” Rhodey stood up.

“Titanium Man?” He said. “That guy owes me a new car, a new suit, and a rematch.”

“I’m guessing you’ve met.” Acacia said.

“Shell yeah, and I’m ready for some payback!”

“Hey, you heard Jocasta.” Josh said. “The threat level is 9. Maybe we should call in S.H.I.E.L.D…”

“And beg to Maria Hill for help?” Hawkeye said. “No way. Look, 9 may be too much for you guys, but we got this covered. West Coast Avengers, assemble!” All of them got up and rushed out of the room.

“‘Too much’ my rear end!” Josh said. “E.G.G, organize!”

“Seriously, change it!” Acacia said, as she and Eileen got up and followed.

* * *

“Director Westbrook!” Ant-Man called. Josh turned.

“Yeah, what’s up Pym?”

“Follow me, I’ve got a surprise for you in the Humpty Dumpty Hall.”

“Oookay…” Josh followed Ant-Man down the tunnels.

“Just something I’ve been working this week.” He said. “I heard that Eileen and Acacia had powers and you didn’t.”

“Way to rub it in…”

“Well, I thought I’d help you out.” They entered the room and Ant-Man opened a capsule and pulled out a blue metal chest plate with the E.G.G logo on it.

“It’s a… bullet proof vest!” Josh said. “Thanks, you shouldn’t have. Seriously, our suits are designed to handle low caliber gunfire, you really shouldn’t have.”

“Just put it on!”

“Okay…” Josh positioned it on his chest and spread his arms. “Like this?” Suddenly it began to shift. “Whoa! Wait a minute…” Metal plating began to engulf his body. It covered his arms and the top of his hands. It went around his back, down his stomach and legs. Finally, a helmet formed around the back of his head, leaving his face exposed. “Sweet! Battle armor!”

“Yep. Now it has no offensive capabilities, but is should significantly increase your strength, speed, and durability.”

“Pym, I could marry you!” He shouted, jumping feet into the air a hitting the ceiling. “Ow!”

“Careful!”

“What, are you kidding? I just hit the ceiling! I could never hit the ceiling!” Josh began to run in circles. “I’m not even getting tired!”

“The suit is doing most of the work for you. Now if you’d just break it in slowly…”

“Look out Titanium Man! Here comes the Joshinator!” He said, rushing out of the room.

“Fighting Titanium Man is not breaking it in slowly!” Ant-Man called after him, rushing out as well.

“Foolish Americans, your persistence in the face of defeat never ceases to amuse me.”
“Foolish Americans, your persistence in the face of defeat never ceases to amuse me.”

Josh's Threat Assessment on Titanium Man

* * *

Titanium Man, a man in a large green and grey suit of Iron Man like armor, stood in the lobby to the Chandler Center for the Arts. Syndicate soldiers had hostages cornered. The police were surrounding the building. The captain walked up with a megaphone and turned it on.

“Attention!” He shouted. “This is the police! Release the hostages, and come out with your hands above your head, now!” Suddenly a Syndicate soldier kicked the doors open and launched a rocket at the cops. They took cover as it hit a car and flipped it into the air.

“I think they got the message.” He said.

“I want you to make sure.” Titanium Man replied. The soldier nodded.

“You got it.” He reloaded his RPG and took another shot. It flipped another car into the air.

“Look out!” The chief shouted, pushing another officer out of the way. He braced for impact, but then… nothing. He opened his eyes to see the car floating above him, engulfed in pink magic. “What the…”

“Sir,” He turned to see Scarlet Witch standing over him. “This isn’t light. You might wanna move.” The chief got out of the way and she dropped the car. Hawkeye jumped on top of it and the rest of the West Coast Avengers fell in.

“Tigra, Pym.” He called. “Clear out the cops and secure the area.” They both rushed off. “Wasp, Vision, get inside, undetected, and get those hostages out of there.” Wasp shrunk down and Vision turned intangible, descending into the ground. “Rhodes, Wanda, you’re with me. We’re taking down Titanium Man.”

“What about us?” He turned to see Josh, Eileen and Acacia standing there. “What do you want us to do?”

“Just stand there and look stupid.” He said. “You’re doing a bang up job at it.” He jumped off the car and moved in with War Machine and Scarlet Witch. Josh was bewildered.

“Of all the… did my meeting mean nothing to him!”

“Obviously not.” Eileen said. “Well, it seems like they have a firm grasp on the situation. I’m gonna go back.”

“Eileen, no! I wanna test my new Joshinator armor!”

“Test it some other time, and stop calling it that.” Eileen walked off, and when she was just out of sight, ran into the nearest alley to change into Lightstream.

“You’re still with me, right?” Josh asked Acacia.

“Well, you sign my checks, so…”

“Really?”

“Kidding! I’ve been dying to see what I can do with my powers!” She said, her hand lighting on fire.

“Whoa, you have powers now?” Lightstream said, flying down. “That’s so chill!”

“I know right!” Acacia said.

“Um, Lightstream.” Josh said, flexing. “What do you think of my new Joshinator armor?” He turned and flexed again. “Pretty hot, right?”

“… I have no response to that.” She said, flying towards the arts center.

“Come on!” Josh said. “Ugh, what’s it take to impress a girl these days!” He and Acacia ran to the building. Just as they were approaching the doors, Hawkeye blew out of them, crashed into Josh, and they both hit the wall. Josh rolled Hawkeye off of him. “Barton? Talk to me!”

“He’s… more powerful… than before…” He said, struggling to get up, but falling back down. Josh looked in and stood up.

“Come on guys.” He said.

“No… wait for me…” Hawkeye said. Josh looked at him.

“No, you just lie there and look stupid. You’re doing a bang up job.” He walked inside to see a bunch of unconscious Syndicate soldiers, War Machine on the ground and Titanium Man choking Scarlet Witch.

“You are nothing to me!” He roared. Suddenly he was blasted from behind. He threw Wanda down and turned to see Lightstream’s hand steaming.

“Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size?” She said.

“Gladly!” He replied. Two machine guns folded out of his arms and he began shooting at Lightstream. She braced for impact, but was protected by a force field.

“I got you covered!” Acacia said.

“Thanks!” She said, as Josh rushed past her.

“Now you’re gonna face the wrath of the Joshinator!” He shouted. He punched Titanium Man, who looked down at him. “Uh oh…” He backhanded Josh into the wall. Josh sat up. “Okay, running and punching, bad idea.” Suddenly the Vision phased through the floor behind Titanium Man. He attempted to reach inside of his armor, but was electrocuted.

“Gyah!” He shouted, falling to the ground and turning solid again.

“Foolish machine!” Titanium Man said. “I will not fall prey to such primitive tricks!”

“How’s this for primitive!” Acacia said, shooting an immense stream of fire at him. Titanium Man held up his arms and began fighting through it. “Lightstream, up the pressure!”

“Right!” Lightstream fired her blasts at him, but he was still trudging through.

“Foolish Americans,” he said. “Your persistence in the face of defeat never ceases to amuse me.” He finally reached them and punched them both to the ground.

“Make way!” Tigra said, jumping over them and pouncing at Titanium Man. “Hi-ya!” She shouted, scratching him with her claws. But it didn’t even take any paint off. “Oh man…” He launched a rocket from his shoulder and blew her across the room, into the wall. At that moment, War Machine’s armor rebooted.

“Bullski!” He shouted. Josh rushed next to him.

“I hold him, you hit!” He said.

“Good plan.” Rhodey concurred, as they charged. Titanium Man opened fire, but Josh flipped over him.

“Whoa!” He shouted, amazed at the power. He landed behind Titanium Man, grabbed his arms, and pulled them behind his back. War Machine sped forward and began to assault Titanium Man with his arsenal of weapons and heavy body blows. Lightstream sat up.

“You’ve got to have a soft spot…” She said, closing her eyes and sensing his suit. “There! Acacia!”

“Huh?” She said, sitting up as well.

“The back of the knees! The joints are combustible!”

“If you say so.” Acacia launched two fire blasts at the back of each knee. They hit and steam blew out of the joints.

“Ack!” He shouted, stumbling forward, Josh still holding on to him. Wasp looked and saw an opening in one of the joints.

“Awesome!” She said, flying inside. Hawkeye kicked into the lobby.

“I’m done with you. Move!” He shouted. Josh and War Machine jumped back as Hawkeye launched an explosive arrow.

“Aaahhh!” Titanium Man screamed as he slid back. “Enough!” He slammed his fist into the ground, and everyone fell. Lightstream took to the air and flew at him, but he caught her leg and slammed her into the ground. “Pick on someone my own size? It is comical that you belief you are in the same legion as me!” Suddenly the roof to the Chandler Center for the Arts was ripped off. “What the?”

“How about someone ten times your size!” Hank Pym’s voice thundered, as he towered over the building.

“Is that… Ant-Man?” Josh asked.

“Well, he’s Giant-Man now.” Hawkeye said.

“This is… not possible!” Titanium Man shouted. He began to fly, but his boots suddenly turned pink and gave out.

“I don’t think so.” Scarlet Witch said. He turned to run but slammed into a force field.

“No way!” Acacia called. He looked up to see Giant Man’s fist coming down.

“NNNOOOO!” He shouted, as Giant-Man pounded him into the ground. The heroes surrounded him. His suit began to spark. “You think… you’ve won…”

“Looks that way to me.” Hawkeye said.

“You have still lost. You just don’t know it.” He fell unconscious. His armor began to beep. Josh backed up.

“It’s gonna blow!” He shouted. Suddenly it stopped, and Wasp flew out with a microchip.

“No it’s not.” She said, breaking it in half. Everyone sighed with relief.

“Alright, that’s more than enough excitement for one day.” Lightstream said. “I’ll see you guys later.” She took off.

“Lightstream is right.” Josh agreed. “It’s time we all got home!”

“How about someone ten times your size!”
“How about someone ten times your size!”

* * *

Josh walked down the halls of E.G.G Base. He walked past a bathroom door as Harry approached it and knocked twice.

“Wanda, you in there?” He asked.

“Yep,” she replied. “Be out in a second.”

“Alright, cool.” Harry replied. Josh nodded in approval. He kept walking when he bumped into Acacia.

“Watch where you’re going!” He said.

“I am!” She replied, focusing intently on the floor. She took a few more steps and stopped. “Ah, just missed you Janet!”

“Thanks for looking out!” She replied, and flew off. Josh smiled. He made his way to the Feeding Pen, where Celeste sat down with a plate of cookies. Tigra approached her with a carton of milk.

“Let me fill you up.” She said, pouring some in Celeste’s cup.

“Thanks Tigra!” Celeste happily replied.

“My pleasure.” She said.

“Beautiful.” Josh said to himself, as he kept walking. He passed Vision’s room, where he spotted him talking to Jocasta.

“I got this for you.” He said, holding out a small device.

“Is that a multi-functional data transferability processing core!” Jocasta exclaimed, grabbing it.

“I saw it and I thought of you.” Vision said.

“Thank you Vision!” Jocasta said, hugging him. “I am so happy!”

“Illogi- I mean, I am glad you are happy.” Josh was happy too. He walked by the Humpty Dumpty Hall to see Eileen present Ant-Man with a metal suitcase.

“It’s a portable ant farm.” She said. “It simulates all of the conditions of an ant’s habitat and constantly supplies and produces a nutrient that’ll keep them happy and healthy all year long. It even cleans itself.”

“Wow, thanks!” He exclaimed. “I never thought of anything like this. That’s… pretty smart.” Eileen smiled, and so did Josh. He walked into the Inner Shell to see Rhodey and Allyson laughing.

“What are you two laughing about?” He asked.

“Nothing.” They replied simultaneously. Josh squinted, then kept walking, as they continued to laugh.

“Westbrook.” He turned to see Hawkeye with a big PlayStation 4 box in his arms. “Transferred your hard drive and everything. Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya.”

“Wow! Thanks Clint!” He said, taking it. “You know what, you guys can stay as long as you want!”

“Actually, we were gonna head out today.” He replied.

“Really? Your base is ready?”

“It’s been ready since day one.”

“Wait, what!”

“Yep. I just had to wait out the rest of the month so I didn’t have to pay the rent.”

“Wha- Are you kidding me!”

“Thanks for understanding. West Coast Avengers, assemble, and roll out!” Everyone grabbed their bags and followed Hawkeye into the elevator. He winked a Josh. “See ya around, sucker!” The doors closed. Josh’s eye twitched.

“Josh?” Eileen asked. “Are you okay?”

“Looks like he’s gonna blow a fuse!” Acacia said. Josh took a deep breath.

“HAWKEYE!!!!!!!!” He screamed to the top of his lungs, and knew, that wherever he was, Hawkeye had a smirk of victory on his face.

"Wherever he was, Hawkeye had a smirk of victory on his face."
"Wherever he was, Hawkeye had a smirk of victory on his face."

Epilogue

Agent Kyle Rice walked down the streets of Midtown, New York. He walked into a barber shop and took a seat in a chair.

“How do want it?” The barber asked.

“Cut it low.” Rice answered. “Sub-level low.” The barber nodded and pressed a button under his table. Rice’s chair shifted then began to descend underground. It finally stopped, and Rice got off into a dark room with computers and S.H.I.E.L.D supplies everywhere.

“You’re a tough man to find.” He said. “Director.” Nick Fury emerged from the shadows.

“Good, let’s keep it that way.” He said. “Being ‘dead’ has its advantages. Just ask Coulson.” He paused. “You didn’t hear that.”

“Sure,” Rice said. “Anyway, thanks for trusting me. I know you’re probably real picky about your social circle.”

“You’re a trustworthy agent.” Fury replied. “Plus, you’re perfect for this assignment.” He handed Rice a file. Rice opened it, read a little, and sighed.

“You really want me on this?”

“I do.”

“Director Fury, the guy’s an idiot.”

“I know. Trust me. But this is something bigger. Keep reading.” Rice scanned the rest of the file.

“Oh, okay.” He closed it. “Do they know?”

“Not yet.” Fury replied. “But I have a feeling in my gut that they will soon.”


To Be Continued…

“You’re a tough man to find. Director.”
“You’re a tough man to find. Director.”

See you on Thursday!

Tune in on Thursday, April 2, for the Q&A for this episode, and then prepare for Episode 33: Revenge, on Friday, April 3! Get ready to see Eileen like you've only seen her once before! See you next week!

So, do you think things ended nicely between E.G.G and the West Coast Avengers?

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