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E.G.G Episode 56: E.G.G v.s A.I.M Part 4- The Egg Crusher
AND THERE CAME A DAY, A DARK DAY. A DAY WHERE THE LIVES OF THREE FRIENDS WERE SINGLEHANDEDLY DESTROYED. BUT THAT DAY HASN’T HAPPENED YET. NOW, HISTORY HAS BEEN REWRITTEN, AND E.G.G WILL WAKE TO SEE A BRAND NEW DAY.
Previously, on E.G.G v.s A.I.M...
While Agent Rice, James, and Squirrel Girl planned a rescue attempt for E.G.G, the fight to escape A.I.M contiuned. Eileen saw firsthand what Extremis 2.0 could, and knew she had to stop Maya. Josh and Acacia, on the other hand, located Tanner Powell, Anti-Venom! They set him free and eventually found Maya's stash of Extremis 3.0. Josh burned it, but was attacked by Savin. Maya, realizing what she had done wrong, sacrificed herself to stop Savin, and left Josh and Acacia with one less obstacle on their way to escaping A.I.M!
Click here to read E.G.G Episode 55: E.G.G v.s A.I.M Part 3- Blurred Lines
E.G.G V.S A.I.M
-The Egg Crusher-
“Yeah, I was talking to her for about an hour.” One A.I.M agent said to another.
“Awesome man!” The other replied. “Then what?”
“Well, we had a pretty good time, she even said she’d like to hang out later!”
“Sweet! What’d you say?”
“Well, that’s when I messed up. I said: ‘Sure, I’d love that Julie.’”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“It was Kristie.”
“How was I supposed to know! We all look the same and I had no idea what her number was! Man I hate these uniforms.”
“Me too.” Both agents looked up to see Acacia standing next to them. “But you gotta admit, I make it work.”
“Get her!” They both jumped up, slammed into a force field, then fell back down.
“Losers.” Acacia said as Josh walked past her.
“We gotta get to the hangar.” He said, tapping at a control panel. “Our best bet out of here is a jet, and if I was reading the map right, it should be through this door.”
“You said that about the last five doors.” Acacia said.
“Well, 6th time’s a charm!” Josh said, as the door slid open. They walked in to see a big open area with a large hangar door and aircrafts of all sorts lining the walls.
“Bingo!” Josh said.
“The hangar door is closed!” Acacia noted.
“Then we gotta get up to the control panel and open it.”
“You aren’t going anywhere.” A voice over the intercom called, as a man in a decorated A.I.M uniform with curly hair and glasses walked up to the glass in the control room.
“And who are you?” Josh asked.
“I am Alby Moreno,” He replied. “The Scientist Supreme of A.I.M.”
“So, is that a big deal, or what?” Acacia asked.
“Laugh now.” Moreno said. “But in a few minutes you won’t be.”
“Why don’t you come down here and fight like a man!” Josh challenged.
“I would rather not waist time in a physical altercation with monkeys who are far intellectually inferior than I.”
“So you’re scared to fight.” Acacia deduced.
“What, no! I am not! I just have more effective ways of eliminating vermin!” Suddenly, a door in the corner of the room opened. “Meet… The Egg Crusher!” A few seconds later, Lightstream flew out of the door and into the room, with a bandana tied around her eyes to conceal her identity.
“Lightstream!” Josh exclaimed.
“What? Where’s the Egg Crusher?” Moreno asked.
“You mean that giant robot?” Lightstream asked. “Yeah, scrapped it before I came in.”
“What!?” Moreno shouted. “Err, not matter, because I have…” Another door opened. “The Egg Crusher Mark 2!” Just then the head to a robot rolled out. “What!”
“Oh, that thing.” Acacia said. “Yeah, when we were trying to find a way out, Josh opened the wrong door, and that robot was just standing there. It scared me, so I kinda blew it up. Sorry.”
“Errr. Fine, but none you can withstand… The Egg Crusher Mark 3!” A third door opened to reveal Anti-Venom violently ripping the robot apart. The door immediately closed. “Oh for crying out loud, fine! The Egg Crusher Mark 4!” The glass to the control room opened. Moreno jumped out of the window and a giant robot with a glass dome head came out of the wall. The dome opened and Moreno fell into it. The robot powered up, Moreno inside controlling it.
“Hahahaha!” He laughed. “Now you will feel my superior might!”
“I thought you had superior intellect.” Josh corrected.
“I’m superior in every way!” He shouted.
“You sure about that?” Acacia asked.
“One way to find out.” Moreno replied. The dome closed and a metal chest plate covered it. A menacing looking robot head folded over and the eyes lit up red. The chest had the E.G.G logo with a circle around it and a cross through it. “You die now!” He roared, his voice deeper and scarier than before.
“All this for little old us? You shouldn’t have.” Acacia said.
“Yeah, I mean, the fact that this robot even exists means you were half expecting us to escape,” Josh added. “Which is kinda sad on your part.”
“Grah!” The Egg Crusher roared. It began to make its way towards them.
“You guys distract it.” Lightstream said. “I’m gonna get up to that control panel and open the door.”
“Roger that!” Josh said. Lightstream took off. The Egg Crusher began to shoot laser blasts at her. She swerved in the air and blasted it, but the blast deflected off of the armor and hit Lightstream.
“Ah!” She screamed, hitting the wall.
“Hey, Egg-Loser!” Acacia called, launching a stream of fire. The robot turned red from the heat, then cooled down. “Shell, it’s heat resistant!” It fired a net out of its arm and trapped Acacia against the wall. Its hand folded into a canon it was about to launch when Josh pulled out his makeshift Thwip Blaser.
“Work this time!” He said, cranking the lever, pulling the trigger, and shooting out a web net. “Yes!” He shouted. The web hit the Egg Crusher in the face and slid off. “Say what?” It turned to Josh and blasted at him.
“Ah!” Josh shouted as he flew back. Lightstream sat up.
“Okay then.” She said, holding out her hand. “Time to get inside and shut this thing down.” She began to get into its operating systems, but suddenly she sensed a familiar presence.
“Consuuuuuuume!” Technovore growled.
“Ah!” Eileen shouted, jumping back. “It’s got the Technovore virus in it, I can’t communicate with the tech…” Acacia ripped the net off.
“Time to ground you!” She shouted, trapping it in a force field. The Egg Crusher looked around, then tapped its wrist. The gravitational field around it shifted and shattered the force field.
“No way!” Acacia said, as it fired a laser and she dove for cover.
“Last chance.” Josh said. “Colantotte, magnetize!” The bracelet turned blue and Josh held out his hand. The Egg Crushed stopped in its path. “I got him!” Josh said. Suddenly its eyes turned blue, and Josh’s bracelet shattered into pieces. “What!? Okay dude, those things, not cheap!” It fired at Josh with a chain of bullets. He dove and slid next to Acacia.
“Okay, it’s official.” He said. “That thing was designed specifically to kill us.”
“What do we do?” Acacia asked.
“… Keel over and die?”
“We’re not out of this yet.” Lightstream said. “Josh, get his attention. I got a new plan.”
“Yes ma’am!” Josh said, rushing out.
“What’s the plan?” Acacia asked.
“I have no freaking idea.” Lightstream admitted.
“We need a miracle Acacia.”
“You haven’t tried your lightning yet.”
“It was built to negate everything we can do! Ugh, I’m gonna try for that panel again, go help Josh.”
“Right.” Acacia looked out to see the Egg Crusher choking Josh in one hand and charging its laser on the other.
“Oh shell!” She shouted. She ran out and kicked its arm, but immediately grabbed her foot. “Ouch!” she shouted, hopping up and down.
“Save yourself Acacia!” Josh shouted. “I’m ready to die!” The Egg Crusher turned to see Lightstream heading for the control room. Its hand transformed into a claw and launched out on a tentacle. It grabbed Lightstream.
“No!” She shouted as it slammed her into the wall. It looked at Acacia, and she began to back up. A rocket folded out of its shoulder.
“Goodbye.” It growled. Acacia dropped to the ground and covered her head.
“Please…” She said. Suddenly there was a loud noise. They all looked to see the hangar door opening.
“Now it’s one I owe you.” Anti-Venom’s voice said over the intercom as he jumped out of the window. The Egg Crusher turned, and found itself looking at all-out war. S.H.I.E.L.D hovercrafts and A.I.M ships were flying around and shooting at each other. Ground troops were taking on infantry, A.I.M robots and S.H.I.E.L.D Mandroids were duking it out.
“Wow, they did all this to save us?” Josh said. The Egg Crusher threw him down.
“Now to see what this thing can really do!” It roared. Thrusters on its boots powered up and it flew into the fight.
“Guys, we gotta stop that thing.” Lightstream said.
“S.H.I.E.L.D is out there! They can handle it!” Josh said.
“Josh.” Acacia said. He sighed. “Fine, but I need some weapons!”
“They have everything we have, remember?” Acacia said. “We make weapons for them!”
“No, the Egg Crusher was made to stop our stuff… but not theirs.”
“Great plan,” Lightstream said. “Down an A.I.M agent, get a gun, and take it down!” She flew off and began blasting at A.I.M ships.
“Alright, let’s go!” Josh said as he and Acacia rushed out.
In the battle, Agent Rice maneuvered his flying black Ferrari through the gunfire and lasers.
“It’s getting pretty hairy!” He shouted. James was in the passenger side and Squirrel Girl was ducked down in the back seat screaming.
“Bank left!” James shouted.
“I know how to fly!” Rice replied, banking left and dodging a missile. He pulled a trigger and began firing guns on the side of the car. James looked out the side.
“Um, we got company!” He shouted. Rice looked in the rear view mirror to see the Egg Crusher blowing through hovercrafts, making its way towards them.
“Shell it!” He said, pulling up. The claw to the Egg Crusher suddenly grabbed the back of the car.
“Whoa!” James shouted as it flipped the car upside down. Rice grabbed the wheel and James held on to the seatbelt, but Squirrel Girl fell out of the back seat.
“AAAAHHHHHH!!!” She screamed as she fell.
“No!” Rice yelled.
“I got her!” James said, letting go of the belt and falling towards her. He caught her then punched his jet pack and they stopped midair.
“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” She said, hugging him. The Egg Crusher grabbed the front end of Rice’s car, and began ripping it in half.
“No, no, no!” Rice begged as the car split in two pieces and he fell out. “Charonteeeeeeeeeeee!” He screamed as he fell. He then hit a force field and rolled onto the ground. He looked to see Acacia rush up to him.
“Agent Rice?” She asked. “Are you okay.” He stood up and dusted himself off.
“That thing killed Charonte.” He said.
“Oh.” Rice loaded his gun.
“Now it’s personal!”
“That thing can only be hurt by A.I.M weapons. At least we think.”
“That so?” He turned, blasted an A.I.M agent that was charging at them and caught his gun. “Well let’s see what this one does!” He pulled the trigger, but a small black sphere shot out, stopped midair, then opened up a black hole. “Are you kidding me!” He shouted, as he and Acacia grabbed onto the nearest item bolted to the ground and A.I.M ships began to suck in.
“Maybe next time you should read the instructions!” Acacia shouted. Meanwhile Josh was running through the battle, dodging gunfire this way and that.
“This is insane!” He shouted. He punched an A.I.M agent, grabbed his gun, and fired it, shooting out a blast of red lightning. “Ooh, now we’re talking!” Suddenly the wall next to him blew open. Slowly, a group of guys and girls walked out. They were wearing the same test subject clothes Josh and Acacia had had on, and they were glowing red. Josh sighed. “Perfect.” He said.
Lightstream flew around, blasting this way and that. She saw a downed A.I.M agent and grabbed a laser baton he was holding.
“Alright then.” She said. She flew right at the Egg Crusher. It looked up, then began shooting fire at her.
“Whoa!” She shouted, spinning out of the way as it kept her at bay. S.H.I.E.L.D agents fired on it with repulse blasters, but the shots kept bouncing off. The Egg Crusher launched a rocket and they flew this way and that. While it was distracted, Lightstream jumped onto its back.
“HHHHAAA!!” She screamed, jamming the baton into its arm. Sparks blew out and spewed everywhere. It turned its head and blasted her with an eye beam. “Gah!” She shouted, slamming into a flying car and knocking it out of the sky. The Egg Crusher’s arm moved back into place. Josh ran by, Extremis soldiers chasing him.
“Stay away from me!” He shouted. A group of S.H.I.E.L.D agent ran to his aid.
“Get back!” They yelled.
“No, you get back!” Josh demanded. “These guys are extremely dangerous!”
“Not for us!” They began shooting them with Repulsor Blasters, but they were healing and advancing. “You know, why don’t you guys make some new stuff!”
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been kinda busy!” Josh replied, as they backed up.
“Yeah, well, these A.I.M guys have all kinds of better stuff than us! I bet they got something to stop these freaks!” Josh paused.
“No, but I do!” He took out Maya’s dart gun and kissed it. “Thanks babe.” He said. He looked up at the Egg Crusher. He looked to an A.I.M agent using a glove to telekinetically lift objects. He jumped by and grabbed it. “Scuse me, gotta borrow this!”
“What the!” He said, as he got blasted by a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Josh put the glove on and grasped the Egg Crusher. It looked back, and prepared to shoot him, but he pulled down and slammed it in the middle of the Extremis soldiers.
“Goodbye.” He said, shooting a dart into one of them. He screamed and began to glow brighter. Then Josh realized how many of them there were. “Uh, yeah, this is gonna be a big boom, so we might want to run. All of us. NOW!”
“Retreat if you wanna live!” One of S.H.I.E.L.D agent screamed into his comm. All of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents took off on jet packs. Rice grabbed Acacia and shot a Thwip Blaster to a hovercraft. James grabbed Squirrel Girl and took off. A.I.M agents ran for cover. The Egg Crusher looked around him.
“NNNNNOOOOO!!!!” It roared as the soldiers exploded, blowing up almost everything. Josh, Acacia, and Lightstream landed on the ground and crept up.
“Is he gone?” Acacia asked. They then heard the twisting of metal, and the Egg Crusher pulled itself out of the wreckage.
“You’re kidding…” Lightstream said.
“Now you see,” it growled. “I cannot be destroyed. I am the perfect storm. I am the end of E.G.G and all it holds dear. I am Chaos!”
“No way he’s using that for his super villain name!” Rice shouted. “That’s my codename!”
“Dude, it doesn’t matter.” James said.
“Take it down!” An agent called. Everyone fired everything they had. Josh shot his lightning gun, Acacia shot fire, Lightstream blasted energy at it. Rice shot a Repulsor Blaster while James fired his laser pistol. Various S.H.I.E.L.D agents fired various weapons, nothing making a dent.
“He’s unstoppable!” Josh shouted, as the Egg Crusher slammed the ground and blew everyone this way and that. James looked up angrily.
“Can’t… loose…” He said, crawling towards it. “Not… until I find… Eileen!” The Egg Crusher looked at him.
“Arrogant to the end.” It said, its hand transforming into a cannon.
“Hey!” Squirrel Girl shouted. “Leave him alone!” She threw three acorns at it. Two hit its back, but one wedged in between the servos on the back of its leg. The Egg Crusher attempted to take a step, but the acorn jammed the joint and sparks blew out.
“What the…” It said, as the leg fell limp. It tried to balance itself, but the leg folded over and it fell to its knees. “Can’t move, this is impossible!” Suddenly the entire suit began to spark. The HUD inside showed multiple errors and alerts. “I can’t get the leg servo back online, it’s compromising the integrity of the suit!” The chest plate popped open to reveal Alby Moreno under the dome, desperately trying to fix the robot.
“No, no, no!” He said. “This can’t happen, not now! Not to the Scientist Supreme of A.I.M! I was doing so well!” He then heard two knocks on the glass. He looked up to see Josh standing over him.
“Open up.” Josh said.
“Never!” Moreno shouted, slamming a red button.
“Egg Crusher self-destruct engaged.” The robot announced. Josh looked at him.
“Dude, did you seriously just trigger the self-destruct.”
“You’re inside the robot.”
“It seemed like a good idea, okay! I’m freaking out in here!”
“Psh, yeah, okay. Way to live up to the name Advanced Idea Mechanics. You and your entire group are finished. You’ve lost.”
“Detonation in 10 seconds.” The machine said, beginning to hum.
“Get me out of here!” Moreno screamed. Josh rolled his eyes, punched the glass open, grabbed Moreno, and ran for cover. James looked up.
“Wait, wait a minute…” He said, attempting to stand. “I’m still here!”
“Detonation in 3, 2, 1.”
“No, NO!” James shouted, closing his eyes. And just as the Egg Crusher exploded, Lightstream swooped by, grabbed James, and flew high into the sky. She landed on the roof of one of the many labs on the facility.
“Wow,” James said. “That’s three times now.”
“Who’s counting?” Lightstream replied.
“Well, thank you again.” He said. Lightstream put her hands on her hips.
“Can I get a proper thank you this time?” She asked. James sighed.
“I told you, you’re cool and all, but there someone else.”
“Eileen Wuthrich? Is that her name?”
“Yeah, her. I’m sorry.”
“James Collins, you have to be the cutest idiot on the face of the Earth.”
“Wait, what?” Lightstream untied the bandana and dropped it to the ground.
“It’s me James.” Eileen said. “I’m Lightstream.” James’s jaw dropped.
“I… uh… but… you… how… and then… what? I couldn’t have… you never… and then the…” He was at a loss for words. Eileen laughed.
“James.” She said.
“Yes…” He answered.
“Just shut up and kiss me please.”
“Right, okay, sorry.” He took Eileen into his arms, and the two lovebirds kissed. Eileen lifted her leg into the air, and James stroked her cheek, as they kissed among the setting sun.
Josh approached Rice.
“Brought the rain, did ya?” He asked.
“A.I.M was a threat, they had to be taken down.” Rice replied. “Plain and simple.”
“Or you just really like me.” Josh smiled. Rice rolled his eyes.
“Idiot.” He said, and walked off, Squirrel Girl right behind him. Acacia walked over to him.
“So, if it isn’t incredibly too much to ask, can we go the shell home?” She pleaded.
“Yeah,” Josh replied. “I think it’s high time we did.”
* * *
Back at E.G.G Base, things had returned to normal. After a huge sigh of relief, everyone in the base back to work. Josh, Eileen, and Acacia all sat in his room.
“Well, that was a doozy.” Eileen said.
“I’m just happy you’re okay.” Acacia said. “After what they did to you. Speaking of they…”
“Alby Moreno was arrested.” Josh said. “He’s being held on the Helicarrier, so don’t expect to see him anytime soon. M.O.D.O.K escaped, along with the knowledge of who he was selling the Extremis 3.0 to, but we’ll catch him. Maya is being buried next to Aldrich Killian. And she’s being honored for her scientific achievements. I’m also starting the Maya Hansen Foundation to help fund further research into genetic enhancements that will actually help the human race.”
“That’s good.” Eileen said.
“Yeah, I think this all turned out okay.” Acacia agreed.
“I don’t.” Josh said. They both looked at him. “Come on guys. Doom, Viper, Julian, the Avengers. We keep hitting bad break after bad break and the one thing all of them have in common is that they’re all my fault.”
“Josh…” Eileen started, but Josh held up his hand.
“Every fix we get in, every villain we face, every agent we lose, it’s on me. From the day I let the hatchlings onto Mother Egg to stupid mistakes like X-23. Let’s just face it, I’m always getting us into trouble. And now, this whole thing with A.I.M, I was so blinded by emotion I didn’t even bother to check between the lines.”
“You can’t think of everything.” Acacia said. Josh shook his head.
“Listen guys, before I started E.G.G, I was just a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, and a bad one at that. I had no clue what it meant to lead an entire organization, and judging by the events of the past few hours, I still don’t. I had a lot of time to think about this, and it’s why I’ve decided, that effective immediately I am stepping down as Director of E.G.G.”
“What!” Eileen shouted.
“Josh!” Acacia added.
“It’s final. I don’t want to lead this organization another minute until I’m positive I’m ready. If one day I feel I’d make an adequate leader, I’ll try for Director again, but until then, the burden goes to one of two. You guys are same rank, so you can decide among yourselves who sits in the big chair.” Josh smiled. “I may get that super powered catfight after all.”
“Josh,” Eileen said. “This is a big decision.”
“I just want to step back for bit.” Josh said. “See how someone else drives the bus, and maybe learn a few things as I go. My decision if final. The only question now is which one of you will take my place.” Eileen and Acacia looked at each other.
“Look Acacia,” Eileen said. “If you really want to be…”
“Oh shell no!” Acacia interrupted. “Waaaaay too much responsibility. It’s all yours.”
“So it’s settled then.” Josh said. He stood and put his hand on Eileen’s shoulder. “Congratulations Eileen Wuthrich, you are the new acting Director of E.G.G.” A big wide smile slowly spread across Eileen’s face. She suddenly realized the gravitas of what had just happened. She was filled with excitement and eager joy. She giggled a little bit, tried to speak, but could only manage to utter one small word:
Josh and Acacia sat in a restaurant late at night, both with plates of Shawarma. Acacia was leaning her cheek on her palm and poking at her Shawarma with a fork. Josh picked his up, sniffed it, scrunched his nose in disgust, shrugged, then bit into it. Acacia sighed and dropped her fork.
“Worst date ever.” She said.
“Yep.” Josh agreed.
“Can we go home?”
“Two steps ahead of you.” They both stood up and left the restaurant.
See you Thursday!
Alright, make sure you tune in next week Thursday, November 19, and catch the Q&A for this episode! Then come back the next day, November 20, for E.G.G Episode 57: Eileen Wuthrich: Director of E.G.G! And don't miss Marvel's Jessica Jones, only on Netflix!