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Estranged - Rictameters

Updated on December 3, 2018
Senoritaa profile image

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

Background

The two Rictameters are about feelings revolving around separation from people who you least expected to be separated from.

The first one is about how someone, who you considered to be your close friend and confidant, betrayed you in the course of life, their love for you being need-based.

The second Rictameter is about a family member who is supposed to be close to you, but ah! you both know that the differences are so huge that despite all the superficial caring, there lies a coldness underneath that makes you strangers to one another.

Strangers
Strangers | Source

The Rictameters

Friendship

Is one that sunk

Deep in the selfish needs

Struck hard when I found you lying

Dismay wound me throwing me in a shell

Bitter to the core I stood still

The world ended for me

When ended your

Friendship

**********************************

Kinship

Is what we share

Strong bonds of blood and care

Forever will be gratified

By the fake feeling of nearness and love

For being close and being far

Are two enemy sides

Of your and my

Kinship


© 2012 Rinita Sen

Comments

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    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Verlie. I used to love this form, but am guilty of not having dabbed into it in a long time. You should try it, as with your unique style, you can create something golden out of it.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      2 years ago from Canada

      I can relate to these poems, both. You express the sense of betrayal and disappointment so succinctly. I like the rictameter form. I don't think I've ever tried it. I see you explained the construction in your comments, that's helpful, maybe I will try one.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Rosemay for your visit and comment. Yes I am sure these are situations that many can relate with.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 

      9 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      I can relate to both of your poems. You have captured the essence of both situations well.

      I enjoy writing in rictameter too

      Wonderful job

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Your visit and comment is much appreciated anglwu. Am glad you liked it.

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 

      9 years ago

      Thanks for introducing me to Richtometer. Friendship, betrayal and the need to be close to someone--very nicely explored in your poems.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks molometer. Yes you are right. Unfortunately many will relate.

    • molometer profile image

      Micheal 

      9 years ago from United Kingdom

      These poems are brutally honest. Very refreshing. We have all been there. Still are in some cases!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Crystar.

    • profile image

      Crystar 

      9 years ago

      Beautiful. I love your work. Voted up.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thank you so much shimmering Dawn for your visit and comment.

    • shimmering Dawn profile image

      Dawn 

      9 years ago

      Brilliant! Beautifully written.. Lovely rictameters!! Thanks for sharing!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot lyricwriter. Your comment is the true essence of my poetry. Personal experience does play a role, however, being poets we tend to be over dramatic, and exaggerate our personal experiences.. LOL

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      9 years ago from West Virginia

      Up, awesome, beautiful, and interesting votes Senoritaa. This style of poetry is very interesting. Two beautifully written but sad poems. That most sacred bond of two people, such a special feeling but when lines are crossed from pain, only evil exist. You can literally feel the pain from the words. Very good job. Hope this is not from personal experience though:(

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Sue for your sincere comment. Have a nice day.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 

      9 years ago

      Hi Senoritaa

      You have beautifully and perfectly described the end of a friendship. Same goes for Kinship.

      Voted up and away

      Enjoy your day.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot for that heartfelt comment Robert.

    • ROBERTHEWETTSR profile image

      rOBERT hEWETT SR. 

      9 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

      Awesome Senoritaa, you technical and literary skills shine in this outstanding example of how to write a rictameter and the great feeling and imagery in the messages. You are a star. Robert

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Caroline. Appreciate your visit and your comment.

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 

      9 years ago

      Great poem Senoritaa. I also loved how you explained the two. Love it.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Hi Eddy. Of course! It is so fulfilling to meet such talented writers, and learn from them. It is equally satisfying to pass that knowledge on to other fellow hubbers.

      Thanks a ton Eddy.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      9 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant Senoritaa and up up and away here without a doubt.

      Great work, and isn't Hubpages just the best place to be learning new tricks all the time.

      Take care my friend.

      Eddy.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot sofs for your visit and comment. Glad I could share my knowledge so far about rictameter. Wish you a very happy new year, too.

    • sofs profile image

      Sophie 

      9 years ago

      Beautiful! So true and wonderfully expressed. Thanks for the explanation on Rictameter, I was wondering what that was... Now I leave enlightened!! Best wishes to you in the New year!! God Bless!!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Haha.. Thank you Frank :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      9 years ago from Shelton

      you are getting better.. maybe it's the new year :)

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      @raciniwa: Thanks a lot for your comment. You are absolutely right in saying that we create a fantasy bond, which hurts bad when it breaks. I also feel that loss of friendship is also a kinf of betrayal in itself, as true friendship is something that we could never lose.

      Thanks again for visiting.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      @Audrey: My pleasure.

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 

      9 years ago from Talisay City, Cebu

      thank you for explaining on Rictameter, you've created an awesome job here...

      as for betrayal, what hurts me more is the loss of friendship rather than the betrayal itself...friends are extension of our family relationships, sometimes we create a fantasy about bond between friends, but somehow along the process when we have grown, the bond is broken and realized that it is not the way things are...

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      9 years ago from California

      Thank you for letting me know Senoritaa!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thank you always exploring. Yes this form has a particular rhythm attached to it. I love it, too. Thanks a ton for your visit.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a million Verita. Your comment always makes me smile.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Hello awayre. Glad to know you could relate. I am honored to impart whatever little knowledge I have about poetry. Thank you again for your visit and your beautiful comment.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Hi Audrey

      You are right.

      A rictameter is a form that expands and contracts in syllables. It goes like this:

      First line: 2 syllables

      Second line: 4 syllables

      Third line: 6 syllables

      Fourth line: 8 syllables

      Fifth line: 10 syllables

      Sixth line: 8 syllables

      Seventh line: 6 syllables

      Eighth line: 4 syllables

      Ninth line: 2 syllables (content should be same as the first line)

      Thanks again for your visit and your great comment.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      9 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Both poems are beautiful..I think many can relate..I like this style of poetry..Thank you..

    • awayre profile image

      Bhavesh Naik 

      9 years ago from Maryland, USA

      I can viscerally identify with both of these poems. Poetry - as some music - could be cathartic and often help us heal. These two are great examples. I also love your tutorial as I have been trying my hand at some poetry. Please keep them coming!

    • profile image

      V Qisya 

      9 years ago

      Wow, wow! I loved it. You're simply amazing.

      Great work, Senoritaa.

      Awesome. Up and away!

      LOL, Verita

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      9 years ago from California

      So excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a rictameter? I gather is has something to do with a form that expands and then contracts in syllables--but I am ignorant of the form--on the flip side, I must say that I was particularly drawn to the second piece of the set-- and Brava to you --you excel as a poetess!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Betrayal indeed is a sad thing to happen to anyone, especially when it is deliberate. It leaves you broken and makes you non-trusting.

      Thank you Sky for reading and for the praise.

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      9 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      As I learn the uses of these different poems , I give you great praise for sharing because I qualify for the one with betrayal.

      Great work Senoritaa.

      Bless.

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