Fear Not the Storm

In January 2009, I was sitting on a dock behind my sister's house. That dock extends out over the edge Eagle Lake in Central Florida. I had done this many times over the past couple of years, and the view often inspired me to write a poem about the scenery of the lake. In fact, the poem below references two of the those poems, "Silent Solitude" and "God's Mirror", which came from the large lake being extremely flat and mirror-like on a very beautiful and calm day. However, on this day of lake watching and introspection, some dark clouds came rolling in and covering the lake, which started producing white-capped waves from the winds.

I just sat and watched, and the whole scene just seemed like emotions in motion. Since I was in the middle of a divorce from my second wife and divorce produces a plethora of emotions, it seemed natural to write a poem where the various stages of the storm became a metaphor for the various feelings felt. Moreover, it gave me an opportunity to write a poem that contained sections, almost like symphonies or concertos contain multiple movements. In fact, I have considered many times trying to put accompanying music to this poem.

For more in depth explanation, the first section represents the initial confusion felt while trying to soak the situation in, just like an approaching storm makes one wonder what it will do and for how long. The second section represents the anger of divorce, just like the fury a storm causes at its height. Lastly, the third section represents the acceptance and knowing that life will be fine, much like when the sun breaks through the waning clouds as the storm dissipates.

In the end, the poem really means that no storm is ever worth being afraid. Every one of us endures various storms throughout our lives. We stand. We face them. We carry on. No fear.

I
As dusk turns to twilight,
God's Mirror has turned choppy –
Reflecting the coming storm's fright.
Again, I sit in Silent Solitude
While in a deep and sorrowful introspection –
Feeling the pain of your rejection.
The overcast sky
Comes from the clouds rolling in the dark.
I sit and stew
Through the emotions
Caused by the storm brought by you.
The strong breeze is becoming a wind –
Pushing my sorrow to an end.

II
The gales grow stronger and more fierce –
Much like my anger for this situation
And your laughter at my humiliation.
The waves turn to white-caps - with spray,
And the sky soaks me with its rain.
I hate your need for instant gratification.
I despise your lack of vision.
I scream to the sky and God.
I scream for having to go through –
Dealing with your lies ...
... your deceit ...
... your greed ...
... you being selfish.
The storm is full of fierce fury,
But it can't match
The anger inside of me.
The storm churns all night –
Hour after hour.
Yet, I can sit and suffer all of its might.
I'm built with more power.

III
Dawn peaks through on the horizon.
The clouds are breaking and fading,
And the lake becomes God's Mirror once more.
The music and visuals of nature
Fill me with the hope of promise –
A promise to live on and endure.
I continue to search inside of me –
To let go of the anger
And live with new-found humility.
There was once a voice in my head,
But it only spoke in a mumble –
Telling me to be more humble.
So, I breathe in the air of the new day,
Rise and start on my new way.
God's Mirror is my spot
For Silent Solitude and deep introspection.
It teaches me lessons
That I need to hear.
The latest lesson
Is that the storm of my soul
Is nothing to fear.