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Fighting the Muse

Updated on September 28, 2011
A Greek Muse Reading
A Greek Muse Reading | Source

Concentration is a fickle muse. Drifting in and out of the sun's rays.

The pressure of physical distractions pulls apart the strings of concentration. Pain filtering from joint to joint, nerve to nerve. Cracking joints an unusual, daily, auditory distraction.

Forcing the threads together, I call the muse back to me. Fighting through the pain steadily calling the muse away from me. Attempting to weave words together to form importance, struggling to focus on the theme of my writing.

Failure.

The muse runs away. Concentration blows out the window. My hand shakes as I lose my grip. The pain is fierce in its conquest. Tears flood my eyes, threatening to consume the last of my strength.

Defeat.

I curl into a ball, attempting to shield myself from the onslaught. Futile in my efforts. My own body is attacking me, destroying my passion and flow. Trapped inside my body, I want to escape. To have the pain end. To no longer be limited in my activities. To be able to sit without having my hips burn with pain. To be able to write without my elbows feeling like they are going to fall off. To end the constant aches of my body's joints, spreading now to other bones and muscles. Just stop it all.

Concentration is a fickle muse. The pain secedes for now. The muse comes back as the sun's rays fade. I pick up my pen and fight through the lingering pain. A strange source of inspiration. A source I do not want.

Free my body.

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    • fancifulashley profile imageAUTHOR

      fancifulashley 

      7 years ago

      jeremiah: Thank you.

      cdub: Thank you for the advice.

    • cdub77 profile image

      cdub77 

      7 years ago from Portland Or

      You're very raw about the pain you struggle with and how it keeps you from fulfillment here. I'd like to see you take even more chances by being more direct about that pain through stark images that are as uncomfortable for us as readers as the pain is for you, but that's not easy or perhaps even what you'd want to do. However, I think that becoming even more vulnerable in your writing will make it more beautiful! Keep it up!

    • jeremiahjpwalton profile image

      Jeremiah Walton 

      7 years ago from New England

      well written hub. good post

    • fancifulashley profile imageAUTHOR

      fancifulashley 

      7 years ago

      Cutters-A muse is from Greek mythology. It is an entity, usually a woman, that lends inspiration to artists. You can see at the beginning of the Odyssey that Homer consults the muse for help in writing the story.

      Snakeslane-Thank you very much! Writing helps instead of just sitting there in class.

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      7 years ago from Canada

      To carry on and write in the grips of pain, a truly awesome accomplishment, thank you so much for sharing this fancifulashley, I wish you success in connecting with your muse,

    • Cutters profile image

      Cutters 

      7 years ago from South Carolina

      wow not bad! I do not know what muse is, I have to look it up but overall I liked it. Good job!

    • fancifulashley profile imageAUTHOR

      fancifulashley 

      7 years ago

      Thank you, I think.

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 

      7 years ago from new jersey

      interesting hub

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