Filipino Proverbs with Funny Twists

I shall be writing on this Hub some filipino proverbs I can remember, with some short explanation. I will try to translate them poetically but mostly literally, trying not to lose the real essence in the process. These wise sayings mirror our values, most of them I heard from my mother. The funny twists, I heard from the streets.

> "He who perseveres will have braised meat." - This is about waiting for the time to achieve your goal.

> "He who sows will reap." - This is about the time and effort we invest to achieve our goal.

The funny twist: "Division of labor means; I sow you reap, I cook you eat."

> "He who walks in haste will get wounded deeply when pricked." - This is about being careful in everything we do.

> "No matter how long the procession might be, it will continue into the church." - This is about eventually coming back into our roots no matter how far we have gone.

The funny twist: "No matter how long the procession might be, you will get wounded deeply when pricked.

> "A man in dire need will hold on even to a weapons blade." - This is about having a problem and desperate.

The funny twist: "A man in dire need will hold on to the usurer indeed."

> "Life is like a wheel, sometimes you're up sometimes down." - This is about the turning wheels of fortune in our daily lives.

The funny twist: - "Life is like a wheel, sometimes you're up sometimes in the vulcanizing shop."

> "If somebody throws a stone at you, throw him back bread bun." - This is about being good even to your enemies.

The funny twist: "If somebody throws a stone at you, throw him back bread bun with iron fillings."

> "The prompt one beats the dilligent." - This is about grabbing promptly the opportunities as they come.

The funny twist: " The prompt one beats the dilligent, so why be dilligent? Just be prompt."

> "What good is the grass if the horse has died?" - This is about help coming too late.

The funny twist: "What good is the grass if the horse has died, if you don't feed it to the goat?

> "He who is tetchy always losses." - This is about being short tempered or not being able to take a joke.

> "If it WAS a presumption, it IS wrong." - This is about looking in hindsight about your previous mistakes.

> "Do not scatter litter in your own backyard." - This is about making problems within the family.

> "Where else is the fish gets hooked but in the mouth." - This is about lying.

> "A man pushed to the edge will hold on to a weapon, indeed." - This is about having a problem and aggressive.

> "A thief is angry with his fellow thief." - This is about vicious men trying to outdo each other.

> "An evil man is afraid of his own ghost." - This is about guilt.

> "Shrewd might be the monkey is, still it could be outsmarted." - This is about the trickster who finally gets caught.

> "He who doesn't know how to look back from where he's been, will never arrive at his destination." - This is about ingratitude.

> "There is no unvarying virgin to one who prays persistently." - This is about perseverance and sincerity.

> "Don't navigate on both rivers." - This is about infidelity or the two-timers.

> "Even when last, the best will still prevail." - This is about being the best in whatever you do.

> "Whatever the tree, so is the fruit." - This is about good breeding in the family.

> "It is rather preferable to make a joke with a drunk, but never with someone who has just woken up." - This is about being careful of making a joke with someone who is not in the mood.

> "A good man is dangerous when angered." - This is about pushing somebody to the limit.

> "Before you criticize the blemish on other people's face, first look at yourself in the mirror." - This is about being honest with one's self.