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Funny Fathers Day Poem - My Father Is Not a Tool

Updated on December 3, 2017
clivewilliams profile image

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.

Dad The "Wanna be" Plumber
Dad The "Wanna be" Plumber

What do you think about fathers? For me, I believe all children need them
But there are some fathers who are just wacky from the root to the stem
One thing I do know about fathers, they think they can fix it all
standing proud with a wrench and bucket in hand, dressed in a overhaul
Now mom is cooking in the kitchen and the sink drain is blocked
She says to call a plumber because she knows dad plumbing skill is whacked
"We don't need a plumber!" Shouts my dad
"Why do we need to pay money? are you mad"
Now here comes father, bolting to the kitchen with his glue and his wrench
Then drops it and shouts "ouch" after giving his own finger a pinch

Now he is down under the sink, mother stands over him and we both look at each other and shake our heads
Because we know something is about to happen when dad gets all hyped up about fixing stuff, we remember the last time what happened to the water bed
Then dad shouts "HAHAA, I see the problem here"
"Son, hand me that drill over there"
"A Drill, Tom what in heaven will you need a drill for?", mom shouts
"Honey, you don't know anything about plumbing do you?, I need to get the water out"
I handed him the drill, stood back and began to chuckle
Because I knew dad was mad and pretty soon he would create much more than a puddle
Dad cranked up the drill and started to bore
Pretty soon water was gushing from the sink to the floor

"Dad, what did you do, did you get it right?"
Er, no, I think i bored the wrong pipe"
The kitchen began to flood and I burst out in laughter
Because my dad "Mr Fix it" had caused a disaster
Mom was furious, she stood there in the water giving Dad a cold stare
He just chucked his shoulder and asked for a cold beer
she burst out in laughter, when she saw dad soaked from head to foot
He had go better enroll in the plumbing school and read the book

But my father, as funny as you are, he has been our shield through out the years
I have seen mom cried, you hugged her, comforted her, and used your hands to wipe her tears
You have molded me, encouraged me and guided my path to make me who i am today
As your child, you have given me love, made sacrifices, for me to see a brighter day
My wacky dad, I love you from the depth of my heart
To say i love you to a man like you, is never hard
Thank you my father, for just being you
Happy father's day, you have made our dreams come true.

© 2016 Clive Williams


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    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 18 months ago from Jamaica

      Thank you Shyon

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 18 months ago from Texas

      Your father was/is a funny guy

      But, he fixed what was important

      Broken hearts and hurt feeling

      Need someone who understands

      A guide through life's ups and downs

      That is where a real man can be found

      Blessings Clive

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 21 months ago from Jamaica

      thanks frank

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 21 months ago from Shelton

      this was on the money funny Jive Clive

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 21 months ago from Jamaica

      haaaa, thats so sweet alwayexploring

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 21 months ago from Southern Illinois

      So your dad ' ain't ' no plumber

      He used a drill when he should've used a plunger

      You're one lucky dude

      To have a dad who loves you and the rest of the brood

      Your admiration came through loud and clear

      Your loving Father's day words were sweet and dear!

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 21 months ago from Jamaica

      Happy Fathers Day Venkatachari M

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 21 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      Wonderful and entertaining hub. I admire your father for his simplicity and affection towards you all. I also do not like frequently calling the plumbers or electricians for some petty tasks. I try to fix them myself or ask my son to look at it.