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Funny Jokes to Pep You Up

Updated on July 10, 2020
Poonam-Malik profile image

Forever ready to crack jokes in all possible places. I have always stocked up some as I read, watch movies, or simply interact.

Introduction

Whether it is a dull day at school or a dull mood on a boring day, a joke or two is always welcome. And to set the mood I have purposely written, ‘Funny Jokes’ in the title. Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?

Well continuing on that note, I have compiled some jokes that I personally feel are funny. I seriously hope you will enjoy at least some of them, if not all. But if by any chance, you are one of the rare readers to laugh at all of them, please do let me know. The writer in me will rejoice with you and of course be thankful.

So here we go.

Tickle Your Funny Bone

The duty-conscious nurse was doing her rounds. When she found Meryl fast asleep she didn’t think twice before waking up Meryl. “Here, have your tablet or else you won’t be able to sleep the whole night.”

The next morning Meryl complained to the doctor that she couldn’t sleep even for a minute the whole night because the nurse gave her some sleeping pills.

Government employees everywhere are known to work non-seriously. But probably the ones mentioned below are rare ones.

In a government park, two employees were seriously working. Their job – one employee was digging up the ground at designated places while the other employee filled the holes with the mud.

When a passer-by enquired he was told by one of them, “Actually, we were three. But the one who was supposed to plant the trees is on leave.”

Abram was carefully studying their wedding card for a long time. Fed up, Annie asked him, “What are you trying to do?”

“Nothing, trying to find out if there is an expiry date there.”

An old man who was a bachelor at seventy-five had this to share with his friends after he had come back from a trip after meeting a dozen of his girlfriends, “I am glad I didn’t marry any of them. At least I am alive.”

A friend of his didn’t get the connection till he got the explanation, “All the ladies I met are widows.”

Learning a new language has its share of challenges. But I suppose there are ingenious ways to overcome them too.

The language teacher asked Mini to call Robin by saying, “Come here” in Japanese. That was easy as Mini said, “Koko ni kite.”

Now, when Robin was asked to instruct Mini to “Go there,” he fell silent but just for a fraction of a second. He had quickly reached the so-called ‘there’ and eagerly called out, “Mini, Koko ni kite.”

The next one is from an old movie that I had not even seen. But I could recreate the scene in my mind as it was narrated to me.

The simpleton heroine of the movie was wailing aloud as she had lost a hundred-rupee note. When the hero failed to console her, he generously gave her a hundred-rupee note from his purse and felt relieved as the problem was solved. But to his surprise, the lady was wailing again. Perplexed, he asked her, “Now what?” Very innocently she said, “Had I not lost my note, I would have had two.”

Care for Some One-liners. Do You?

One-liners are great fun. Check out these.

Why shouldn’t the math book look so sad? It has so many problems, you see!

I bet you didn’t know how many apples grow on a tree? Actually all of them grow on trees!

My friend has heard the rumor about butter but he is not going to spread it!

Which is the bow that you cannot tie? A rainbow!

A tennis player is an annoying boyfriend, as to him, love means nothing.

A mirror factory worker can always see himself at work.

No doubt Humpty Dumpty loves autumn. Doesn’t he always have a great fall?

The sports area is always so windy. What else do you expect with all those fans?

A prison bus crashed with a cement mixer. Police are busy chasing the hardened criminals.

I'm sure you are very good at sleeping. You can do it with your eyes closed, no?

What would you say to someone who tells you that you aren’t totally useless? He can hold you up as a bad example.

Conclusion

Jokes apart, friends, Did you enjoy reading the jokes?

What is your verdict? I shall eagerly wait to .know.

I am serious. I tell you, I’m not joking.

Seriously, I wrote this article to let you have a blast and I hope I was a success. Don't let the jokes end on a sad note, please.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 POONAM MALIK

Comments

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    • Poonam-Malik profile imageAUTHOR

      POONAM MALIK 

      2 days ago from Faridabad

      Dear Ivana, I am glad you loved my jokes, even if you are the only one to tell me so

      I wish I had read this message earlier.

    • Ivana Divac profile image

      Ivana Divac 

      11 months ago from Serbia

      This was great! I really enjoyed it.

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