Gilby Galleybrow Has a Lot on His Mind

Oh, waitress, dear waitress! Please indulge this little man for a spell, for Gilby Galleybrow has a lot on his mind. Literally.

Seems that poor Gilby has all the galleys for Euonymous Spofford’s new Hollywood tell-all, “My Burning Bush, and Other Endearing Qualities”, on his mind right now. (So he’ll be a little while placing his luncheonette order.)

Never did Mrs. Galleybrow’s precious eldest son Gilbert ever imagine that, as an editor of the nautical charts of Porter House Publishing’s series, “Seamounts of the Inner Hebrides”, he would some day be saddled with the overripe and purpling prose of the memoirs of that ‘Easy Breezy Loweezy of Rodeo Drive’, the 17-times-married outrageously-augmented minimally-talented vapidly-verbose celebritainer Ms. Spofford.

Sure, once the book is out, it’ll be guaranteed to shoot to the top of the best-seller lists, at least for 15 seconds or so. But, to get it there, Gilby is going to have to wade through its endless stream-of-vacuousness, parsing out who is bedding whom when and how many times, editing out thousands of ‘like’s and hundreds of ‘y’knows’, and trying to find scores of palatable euphemisms for various human genitalia.

So how ‘bout another 5 minutes or so to peruse the menu?