Golden Sunrise

You say you see sunlight in my eyes..

You say you’ll believe-

believe, believe, believe

All that's seen about me is dank

and I see shame licked moments

and eyes down cast.

Little girls, grasping for light, for life

on a street where broken glass litters the pavement,

where the only light is lit in corners

flickering and quick to fade into a burning glow of

red hot embers.

Pulling back from flickering flames

Like moths

Yet you say you see…

Grant me a blessing,

Lend me your sight.

I need to see what you say you see.

I’ve hit my knees and all I hear is the crooning of a broken soul-

I IMPLORE you

As my cheeks moisten in despair

Tell me what did you see-

As my sweat turned yellow,

And I lay on dirty sheets?

Willing it to end- full of blasphemy.

Did I take the time to turn and look?

When you promised me a reprieve?

Did I look when you told me?

Oh father, if only I would have turned

I may have seen a canvas painted in the rainbows of memory

And then as I sit before you

My body lying

My soul dying, your eyes crying

All I see are memories.

Headboards banging, glass cracking

The future forgotten- erased like all the cheated answers

Of all the lifetimes I thought about dying

Gasp, gasp

Give me air

Oh, utter despair.

Forgive me father for I have sinned

Oh father I cannot count the days since my last confession

Father no, don’t make me look.

I won’t,

Cannot count, cannot remember all the things I have forgotten.

A flower blooms- wild weird and weary

Yes, weird and even spiky

My finger runs from pollen to tip of flower petal

Down the stem

t pierces my finger and it bleeds

But mostly it’s just silky

My, my I do so love it

No, father I wont believe you

It will not die- I will not look- no,

I won’t look.

Gasp, gasp

Give me air

It begins to die.

With red and pink and purple nail polish

Frantically I paint the tips of curling rot,

I give it water thrice a week,

And still it dies...

Gasp, gasp

Give me air.

My cheeks hot and moist,

Forgive me father for I have sinned

I did not turn and look

But now I see

I see the portraits of pictures painted in the rainbow of memory.

But father, the colors have turned dreary

And I cried over my broken flower

And all the colors bled

And the pictures aren’t that pretty.

Gasp, gasp

Give me air

I’m on my knees.

Father what do you want me to do?

Tell me what you see now,

Now that I’m pleading.

Forgive me father for I have sinned,

It’s been ..... never since my last confession

Gasp, gasp

I’ve looked and all that I’ve seen is ugly

I know not the rainbows you spoke of,

You promised.

Now you say turn and look again

Turn away from what you say was once so lovely??

I look and see, ahead of me

Gasp, gasp

Oh my, what’s before me?

A blank canvas

And rich colors, mauve, lavender, ruby, violet

Royal blue, emerald, topaz, sapphire- golden sunrise

A blank canvas.

Golden sunrise.

You see sunshine in my eyes!

Gasp, gasp

Give me air

A bouquet of flowers

Spiky and weird.

My oh my!

I do so love them.

Thank you Father.