ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

"Goodbye, I Love You...."

Updated on January 19, 2017

Goodbye I Love You

Goodbye, I love you, On you I’ll smile from above.

Even though I’m no longer with you, I hope you can still feel my love.

Mom and Dad you have been so amazing to me,

Without you I’d never have lasted this long’s clear to see.

I’m sorry to all, but it’s time for me to go.

In this damaged body I have no room to grow.

This decision was so hard to make, no one could know

But on this pain-filled world I have no more seeds to sow.

Goodbye, I love you, On you I’ll smile from above.

I think that I’m saved but I really don’t know

I pray God take my soul and not send me below.

I know that once I was saved, of this I am sure

But I’ve strayed so far away, my heart’s now so impure.

But I’ve asked God for forgiveness

And I am told He offers the cure.

I’m sorry to all, but it’s time for me to go.

The devil’s at my doorstep, ready his wrath to show.

But I’m not about to give him the satisfaction

So I’ll beat him to the punch and take my own action.

I am so scared now, but I’m not running away

I’m just acting out my part, the last scene in my play.

I’m writing this poem in this type of way

‘Cause my mind’s too messed up on one thought to stay.

Certainly about it to you I couldn’t speak

Even my thoughts are too scattered, letter writing is weak.

Even as I write this, I already miss you

I wish I had time to hug and to kiss you.

But I have to go now, my time here is through,

But although I’m gone, know that I’ll always love you.



However, this is a TRUE suicide letter. This was, honest to goodness, my letter that I scribbled on looseleaf paper, which is wrinkled to this day by the teardrops which fell on the page as I wrote. (dammit, I’m crying right now as I type this). I was 22 years old and living at my parent’s house. The Suicidal Plan was a result of a major closed-head injury and the ensuing mental instability (see “The Purpose of Life” for more details). My letter was entitled “Goodbye, I Love You”, and left on my desk in my room just before I hopped in my car for my Last drive to the local marina in the middle of the night, with my .40 caliber Glock, loaded, and on my lap………..


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • aim4strz profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Austhof 

      8 years ago from West Michigan

      Page, Ms. Evans, and Ms. Frank- thank you all for your kind words. It's very theoropudic to get these things off my chest. I certainly hope that my experiences can be beneficial to others in their own journeys.

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      8 years ago from California Gold Country

      Sounds like you have been on a very difficult journey. I'm glad your loved ones did not have to read this and grieve about what they might have done.

      Yes, aim for the stars-- but keep yourself grounded. You have a gift for expression than can touch others.

    • AEvans profile image


      8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      This is so sad and the words touched my heart we are glad you are here and able to share your story and testimonial. :)

    • create a page profile image

      create a page 

      8 years ago from Maryland, USA

      I am so glad you stopped in your tracks aim4strz. Now you can share your experience on hubpages. Thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts here.

    • aim4strz profile imageAUTHOR

      Daniel Austhof 

      8 years ago from West Michigan

      Thank Invictus. That means a lot coming from someone who is able to express themselves as powerfully as you.

    • I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image


      8 years ago

      Wow, very powerful! I am so happy you are away from this place. Thank you for sharing this with us.

      It made my heart drop just seeing the title and while reading, woah.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)