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HELP, I'VE BEEN SICK, SICK, SICK! by b. Malin

Updated on May 2, 2011
GET WELL FLOWERS...PHOTO by Stephan
GET WELL FLOWERS...PHOTO by Stephan

I'M TRYING TO HELP MYSELF...

If you're Wondering what happened to me, and where I've been for the last TWO WEEKS...

I have been SICK, SICK, SICK! I've got the Dreaded Flu, as does Lover Man too, too, Too!

They say Misery Loves company...So at this point, we are WILD about each other and ready to KILL as well! Such a fine, fine line we walk.

We are such a sight to see, My Hair looks like it's been GLUED to my HEAD...While his looks a Mess and we've got Company coming on Friday...What to do, What to do. Let's put us to the Test...

Let me see if I can make us SMILE...WITH SOME OF THESE ONE-LNERS... AS THEY SAY, LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

I LOVE CATS...THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN.

AS LONG AS THERE ARE TESTS, There will always be Prayer In Public Schools.

Laugh Alone...and the world thinks you're an Idiot!

Sometimes I wake up Grumpy...other Times I Let him Sleep!!

We are Born, Naked, Wet and Hungry...Then Things get worse.

DIPLOMACY is the Art of Saying, "Nice Doggie"... till you can find a big Enough Rock!

I wonder: How much Deeper the Ocean would be without the Sponges?

Honk if you Love Peace and Quiet.

A Day without Sun Shine is like, you know. NIGHT!


Well, what do you know...Lover Man is forming a Smile and I see the old Twinkle forming around his eyes, and is he giving me that Look, that SPECIAL Look that say's "I want your Body..." Mmmm. I'm running into my Bathroom, Splashing some Cold Water on my Face, and a dab of Perfume here and mostly THERE...Look out World, Here we come!


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    • b. Malin profile image
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      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Why Thank You James...glad you too have a good sense of Humor and appreciated mine!

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

      You are hilarious! "a dab of Perfume here and mostly THERE!" Now I know from funny and that is downright funny.

      "How much Deeper the Ocean would be without the Sponges?"

      Deep!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      What a long hall this Flu has been, still not fully recovered...the man is doing much better and thank goodness we do have our sense of humor...But I'm getting there! Thanks for you well wishes Vocalcoach, and a hug back at You, my dear friend.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Just look at you! Down with the dreaded flu, but certainly not down with your attitude. What a trooper you are, b. So glad you're on the mend. And even though your "ailing" - you still find humor for your hub family to enjoy. I laughed so hard at your one liners! How blessed you are to have a "honey" to share these times with. Sending a get-well and stay-well hug to both of you

      :)vocalcoach

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Ah Bella, thanks...feeling better is such a slow process...And at these times, I'm so glad we are a "we". Thanks for enjoying.

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      OMG!!!!! B., this was so cute hahahahah you had me smiling all the way through super cute couple you two are he is lucky to have you and you to have him :)

      smiles :)

      bella

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks Minnetonka Twin, actually today, Thurs. I sort of feel NORMAL! So it's been about two weeks and a few days. Glad I could still make you laugh.

      Thanks Pixienot, I really missed Everyone and now that I'm feeling better, I can't wait to get back to writing and looking at all The Hubs I've missed.

      Thanks Fossillady, it's amazing what a week of straight sleeping will due...Glad you liked the Jokes...missed you too!

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      Well, I don't know about you with the way you're feeling, but you certainly put a big smile on my face! I love the jokes and have been missing you, yes! Feel better soon!

    • Pixienot profile image

      Pixienot 6 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

      b.Malin! I missed you and wondered if you were on vacation. I am so very sorry you are or have been ill.

      I avoid the flu by not taking flu shots! I also am blessed or I would get it, I suppose. :) :)

      I am glad you are on the road to recovery. As well, you are right, laughter is indeed the best medicine! (That is once the puking stops!)

      Voted up and awesome. Welcome Back.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Hi b.Malin-Sorry you got the "crud." That's what we call it around here. I pray you get better faster than I did. I had flu, cold and sinus stuff that lasted about 10 days. Loved your uplifting/funny quotes.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Well my friend Colin, I'm glad you too are feeling better...How we take our Health for granted until we get SICK...Here's to good Health for all of us on Hub Pages!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...well when you're sick I'm sick too - poetically speaking - lol - and on an ironic note - I had a bad week where I was making a hobby out of a head cold (last week) so welcome back as I always wish you good health anyway and I just left you a nice comment on Grotesque lament!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Hey CJ Andrews, each day, it get's a little bit better...Thanks for your warm wishes.

      Hey WillStarr, Frisky is good, and each day...it get's a little better, we'll either die with Smiles on, or get an E for Effort!

      It's either that Michelle, or go Crazy...I'll take THAT! THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.

      Thanks Alicia, and so glad you liked the Jokes, my humor gets wired when I'm sick.

      Thanks Breakfastpops (Doc) We'll drink to that!

      Actually Bluestar, Laugh alone, and you know you're OK...Actually I hope he Chocks on the Perfume...NAH, considering our sickness to health, we're not doing too bad.

      Hey Chery Thanks, maybe I should write more when I'm SICK...It goes with my humor> Thanks my friend for your well wishes!

    • profile image

      Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 6 years ago

      WoW ! & still writing a very cool poem!!!

      HOPE U* BOTH FEEL WELL AGAIN SOON!

      LOL, CHER

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 6 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hi b. hope the two of you are feeling better, I love the one liners the best one for me is Laugh alone and the world thinks you are an idiot. Nice picture at the end thou, hope the perfume doesn't make him sneeze. x

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      Have some wine and feel better!

    • chspublish profile image

      chspublish 6 years ago from Ireland

      Sorry to hear about your flu and love the humour.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks for the jokes - and I hope your recovery from the flu progresses rapidly!

    • profile image

      Michelle Dove 6 years ago

      Humor in the midst of illness, a good way to keep the mental UP!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Great one liners!

      Hope you feel better, and it sounds like you're getting a little frisky! :-)

    • CJ Andrews profile image

      Chris Andrews 6 years ago from Norwalk, Ohio

      Hope you are doing better and it doesn't re-catch. I know my wife and kids seem to pass any virus around so each goes through it twice before it runs its cycle.

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      It seems to be a LONG, SLOW process, trying to get rid of the Flu. But here's hoping we are finally on the Road to recovery...Thanks for stopping by Shygirl.

    • profile image

      shygirl2 6 years ago

      I could see it all...good job, b. Malin. I did wonder what happened, I have to admit. I love your funny quotes...they made me smile and laugh. Hope you two love birds are feeling better now? ;)

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      So Mslizzee do you think I should bottle it? And do try it next time your feeling Flu-like and of course pass it along! A whole new Holistic Approach Ha, Ha!

      Mmm, Sally I can smell the Virtual Chicken Soup coming our way...Thank You! Oh, and I thought you'd like that one liner, it's so them!

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      Love your 1-liners. very funny! My favorite is: Sometimes I wake up Grumpy...other Times I Let him Sleep!!

      Glad you are feeling better. Sending you virtual chicken soup!

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      Wow b. you have a unique formula for getting well!

    • b. Malin profile image
      Author

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Thanks so much Fiddleman, you mean I still may have another week to go?! Hopefully we are winding down on this one...Thanks for stopping by.

    • Fiddleman profile image

      Robert Elias Ballard 6 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

      WooooWeee! Glad your feeling better, I have had that crap for 3 weeks.