HOME IS NOT ALWAYS WHERE THE HEART IS...by b. Malin

We left Florida last Monday, and arrived home late, very late, Tuesday morning, 2 am to be exact. We drove... we shared the driving...it's a BORING drive, where's a BILLBOARD when you need one! But along the way some "Fun things" happened...and so, without further ado, I'll tell you the tale...and you be the judge.

We started out late, 5 pm to be exact...I guess neither of us really wanted to leave the "Condo with the View". But leave we must, so we emptied the Refrigerator, and I announced to Lover Man that I wanted to give the "left overs" to our neighbors. "Oh No" was his reply as he grabbed the 2 packages of Frozen Bagels, putting them in a separate pile, as he eyed the left over chicken. "You've got to be kidding" I said. "No, no, he replied excitedly...We've got the Freezer Bags, and the 3 cold packs...There's a lot here we can take, and when we get hungry, we can stop along the way and have a Picnic"! He looked so Excited and Happy that I thought, why not? And so I watched in amazement, as he put 1 Apple Pie, the left over chicken, the cookies, the Fresh Fruit Salad, that I lovingly had made the night before, as well as half a carton of Fresh Orange Juice into the Freezer Bag. I managed to get the rest of the left overs away from him, and ran next door to my neighbor's. Who were very Happy to receive the unexpected treats. Do I see "tears" in their eyes? I know there are tears in mine and Lover Man looks sad as we say our goodbye's.

Ok, so now, FINALLY, we are on the road. I am going to do the first installment of driving...After about an hour or so, I feel my eyes starting to feel sleepy. This has never happened to me before, I've always been able to do a few hours. I tell Lover Man, and he says to pull over and he will take the wheel. My Hero...and soon I am drifting in and out of sleep...It was weird. When I wake up I find we have pulled into a shopping center. It's around 8:30 and we both are hungry. "Time for our picnic" Lover Man announces Happily. "I hate to burst your bubble Sweetie, I say, but, we don't have any plates, or utensils, or cups". "No problem" he says cheerfully, look, he say's pointing out the window, there's a $1.00 store".

Ok, so now we have purchased what we needed and are now back in our car, that is PACKED to the gills with 5 months worth of clothing, suitcases, you name it, it's there. "This can be done" he says as he reaches for the Freezer Bag that is wedged in between the backseat and the floor. I'm mentally counting to ten, as I look out at the Restaurant in this shopping center, that is looking so inviting...It's as if it's beckoning to me..."Come Inside, come inside, leave that Crazy Man and come inside". "I can't" I say out loud. Lover Man looks at me, "What can't you do". "I can't EAT like this wedged in the front seat with you". "Oh come on, we can...this is like an adventure" he says smiling. And so we eat up the chicken, and our hands of course get greasy, but low and behold, I've got one of those little bottles of hand sanitizer next to my seat! Once our hands are less greasy, we share some Fruit Salad and drink a little OJ. "We'll save the rest for tomorrow" Lover Man says as he gets out of the car to look for a trash basket. And then, once again, we are on the road.

We sleep in Savannah, Ga. in a "Quality Motel" and there is a Refrigerator in our room, so I get to unload the food from the freezer bag so it can stay fresh...and it doesn't go BAD! The next day we have a nice Complimentary Breakfast there...and help ourselves to 2 little cream cheeses and 3 little butters, which we will later use on our Bagels. Is that wrong? Well it's all Lover Man's fault, and those darn Bagels that we are still carrying around! So don't judge me!!

We stop for gas and I decided to buy a Banana, which cost 75 cents. The girl behind the counter is from India...I say, "75 cents, what a RIP OFF"! She smiles and repeats "what a rip off". I now go get water, and as she rings it up she says, "$1.49, what a rip off". I realize she has no idea what it means, and thinks she's learned a new saying. I laugh, she laughs, and now we are both smiling at one another. We exchange waves as I leave the store. I picture her saying to every customer after she rings them up, "What a Rip off"!

Lunch time finds us stopping at one of the road side parks. We are seated at a table that faces some trees and lots of squirrels. It is a Beautiful day. We have spread our "left overs" on the table, which now consists of two Bagels, Fruit Salad, Apple Pie and OJ. "A Feast, Lover Man announces, waste not, want not". I feel like I'm glaring at him...But then I think, ah, this is kind of fun. We are munching on our bagels, when I look across at these two squirrels, at first glance, it looks like they are fighting...but then, I realize they are FORNICATING! Not only are they, but 4 other squirrels are also FORNICATING...We are eating, other families are eating, and the squirrels are FORNICATING. We never laughed so hard! Lover Man ran to get his Camera, but couldn't remember where it was in our over packed car. It didn't matter, it was a picture that stayed in our minds...And did we really need a picture of FORNICATING SQUIRRELS?

That night we FINALLY ATE IN A REAL RESTAURANT..."Olive Garden" and everything was delicious! After dinner, we decided to drive until we got back to New Jersey...and we did. At 2 in the morning, we arrived home...Oh, and we still had 6 Bagels left, and half an Apple Pie. What a Guy, that's my Lover Man!