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Haiku ~ First Attempt

Updated on July 21, 2015
CrisSp profile image

CrisSp is your Emergency Specialist at 37 thousand feet. A writer without a niche. Wonderwoman consumed by wanderlust!

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Haiku (pronounce haɪ-ku as in "hi" not "hey")


Is a kind of poetry that is restrained from one to three lines with an average length of 13 syllables and not any greater than 17 syllables. For a better measure of brevity, haiku can be read aloud and completed in one breadth. A traditional haiku follows a syllable of 5-7-5. It's not easy to write a perfect haiku. One may need a lot of practice. Here’s a sample and my first attempt:


"Maple leaves falling

In sync with crisp autumn breeze

Dads' head now barren."



You may find the above haiku funny and non-traditional. However, haiku doesn't necessarily have to be serious. It can be funny too.

Key points in writing a haiku:


When writing haiku, there are five key points to keep in mind:


1. Descriptiveness – haiku is meant to describe things through our senses-sight, hearing, smell or touch without actually narrating on the poet’s actual feelings toward things.


2. Brevity – as first mentioned above, haiku should only have about one to three lines with about 17 syllables not more than that.


3. Numbers of phrases – most haiku are composed of two distinct phrases although not all.


4. Juxtaposition - these two phrases should be about different elements as per the authors’ observations. Unlike other forms of poetry, the relationship between the two different elements is what delivers the poetic style in haiku.


5. No poetic character – although haiku stipulates a poetic style, it is best to avoid traditional poetic styles like rhyming, metaphor and the likes.


Do you find haiku interesting?

See results

Important notes to remember:


~ Haiku is not a proper noun and so it shouldn't be capitalized within a sentence.

~ Haiku is both singular and plural. It is wrong to say "haikus".

~ Haiku shouldn't be titled and shouldn't rhyme.


Basho writing his haiku
Basho writing his haiku | Source

The origin of haiku


Haiku in its original sense must contain an obvious reference to a season and must be focused on nature. It originated from Japan as a form of meditation and was invented by a monk named Matsuo Basho. However, some of Bashos' haiku wasn't really that of traditional 5-7-5 syllables but a rather intriguing and much harder 3-5-3 syllables format.


Example of Bashos' haiku - poem of farewell (source: Low Density Lifestyle) --


falling sick on a journey

my dream goes wandering

over a field of dried grass


Haiku is a form of our day to day observation of the world around us, followed by the practice of creating lines in the mind and playing with its rhythm mentally before finally jotting it down.


Haiku has since evolved in the most fashionable ways and in the English Language it doesn’t necessarily have to be nature focused. We call this, "urban haiku".

Togetherness All Year Round
Togetherness All Year Round | Source

This haiku was mentally created while observing my loving husband through the glass door of our back porch. Wise in his silence, standing at the backyard, one breezy afternoon, beer in his hand, watching the falling leaves off our beautiful and chunky maple tree, I couldn't help but noticed that while the leaves are slowly falling off the tree, his head as well is now balding. You are probably laughing at that. Well, I was but I also realized that with each passing season, although his hair is now thinning, he is beautiful with or without hair just like the maple tree at the backyard that has reached its great age, they become as it is but both filling my energy. He is my natural companion with his own basso profondo and aura. And, just like hugging our maple tree, hugging him is a joyful treat.

I wonder what’s he thinking? I know what I’m thinking…haiku!


Copyright@CrisSp~TM/09-2012. "The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~

© 2012 CrisSp

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    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hi Sue! Thank you for dropping by my backyard. Lol! Good to see you here. Enjoy your summer!

      Love from the sky~

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi CrisSp

      Wonderful haiku! LOL on the first one.

      Voted up across the board

      Take care :)

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hello Louisa, pleasure to see you here and glad that you enjoyed the haiku and found it useful. Appreciate your vote and your visit. Thank you.

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      I thoroughly enjoyed this and love the story of you watching your husband and the maple tree, and then creating a haiku. I imagine the tight form of the haiku would be an excellent writing exercise, forcing one to eliminate any excess. Voted up and useful.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you QudsiaP1.

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 4 years ago

      Wonderful hub on haiku CrisSp. :)

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you rajan. Appreciate your kind gestures.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      This is a sweet haiku. Thanks for explaining in some depth what a haiku is .Voted up, interesting and shared.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Jools99. Appreciate your visit and the effort to leave a comment. Please do come back again. Love from the sky~

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Wow, so much useful info and a great haiku which was sweet and quirky (my favourite kind of poem) :o)

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hello Rolly! Thank you for your visit. I'm glad you enjoyed my short hub.

      Love from the sky~

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again CrisSp... well done and very informative... I enjoyed this very much...

      Hugs from Alberta

    • Lizam1 profile image

      Lizam1 4 years ago from Victoria BC

      ooops I capitalized the H, now there's naughty!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Lizam1. Appreciate your visit and your feedback. Cheers to haiku!

    • Lizam1 profile image

      Lizam1 4 years ago from Victoria BC

      Nicely written

      historical facts and help

      to write good Haiku

      Thank You!

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you aykianink. When the creative juice flows, don't resist...go with the flow and yeah, always expect the unexpected.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you ignugent17! Appreciate your visit and your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • aykianink profile image

      aykianink 4 years ago

      Wicked sharp turn there. Wasn't expected a bald man's head as a mental image so suddenly. Good stuff:-)

    • profile image

      ignugent17 4 years ago

      Wow ! This is beautiful . I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing more information about haiku.

      Voted up and more! :-)

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Eddy. Nice meeting you.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      A brilliant Haiku and on a first attempt ;here's to many more to share on here.

      Eddy.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thanks travel_man1971! I'm beginning to love haiku actually. I find it beautiful. Few words indeed but the challenge of creating with the correct number of syllables to make sense isn't very easy, specially if the writer wants it as expressive and impressive as in the regular poetry. I hope to read your haiku soon. Here's to our courage in creativity!

    • travel_man1971 profile image

      Ireno Alcala 4 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

      My English teacher in high school also tackled about Haiku, and how to compose one. I am also keeping a tickler of some Haiku collection but I cannot find it now.

      Your work reminded me of this awesome Japanese poetry. You don't have to compose lengthy narratives in order to express your thoughts.

      Rated it up!

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you marcoujor. Hugs back to you.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Wow, I hope this is the first attempt of many...

      You have taught me how little I know of Haiku and I am thrilled to meet you...now I shall re-read this for some future consideration.

      You have a clear talent and a beautiful sense of humor.

      Voted UP and UABI. Hugs, Maria

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Laurinzo! It's nice to see you again. I am beginning to love haiku but it's not that easy to follow it the traditional way specially when you have so much to say. Nevertheless, I will surely try again.

      Peace and love to you.

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Very good hub CrisSp. Good tribute to your husband and the haiku form of poetry(which I have loved since first discovered in childhood).

      You have honored a man who is blessed , and an art that is timeless.

      Laurinzo

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you coffee! Yes, love my coffee specially a this time, in this weather. So gloomy outside...oh no, I have another haiku in my head! Lol!

      Kidding aside, appreciate your visit and thanks for your feedback. Glad it put some laughter on your face.

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Good haiku lessons there, but I am more into more, lol. Also Cris, I had a good laugh as you have guessed it on how you came up with your haiku...the maple and him. That was really funny, tear in my eye! Nice hub!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Lol, you are very funny craiglyn. Thanks for dropping by. Appreciate it.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Faith.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      You're welcome rcrumple. I'm no pro on haiku too but we all learn small things everyday here and that's why this community is great. Thank you for your readership and commenting back.

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      No, thank you btrbell. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Oh hello snakeslane! Nice to meet you and thank you for your feedback. Keep on trying!

    • CrisSp profile image
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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you liz!

    • craiglyn profile image

      Lynda 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I'm afraid it's all Greek to me, but I enjoyed it, and admire your ability to create a haiku (oops I capitalized that at first and then remembered it does not get capitalized in the middle of a sentence - guess I did learn something - LOL) And I loved the analogy with regards to your husband. Really sweet!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent haiku and especially adding the further explanation of what exactly is a haiku. Voted Up In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Thanks for the education. I've commented on haiku hubs before only guessing I knew what I was talking about through observation. Now, I might be able to better judge. Great Job!

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Thank you for this refreshing hub! Very enjoyable!

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

      Sweet tribute to your hubby in haiku CrisSp. Thank you for the reminders of what elements make a haiku. Looks simple, but difficult to do, I know I try, still trying. Regards, snakeslane

    • lizcosline profile image

      lizcosline 4 years ago from Wyncote,Pa.

      Very interesting and informative.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Clever one! Thanks for the input whonunuwho.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      Thanks for clearing up what haiku is all about.

      Although I try it my way,

      my haiku's, not full,

      I have nothing much to say.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Oh wow, that is great and quick too! Thanks for the compliment chef; will try again next time. Cheers!

    • chef-de-jour profile image

      Andrew Spacey 4 years ago from Near Huddersfield, West Yorkshire,UK

      season of haiku

      for hubbers and followers -

      never ending Spring.

      Thank you for this hub. A real treat to find a first attempt. Hope there'll be lots more.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you billybuc for coming out first. I can imagine you laughing at that line. You think it'd pass the teacher's standard of haiku?

      Enjoy the rest of your Sunday afternoon.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks for the education and the haiku; loved the last line of your haiku!