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Have I Mattered at All

Updated on May 28, 2013

A name on paper, a face in the crowd

More or less than some I'm endowed

Broke some hearts, even though I vowed

Have I mattered, though, no, I'm not proud

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Too soft sometimes I have bowed

Too strong at times shouted out loud

Opinions I have disallowed

Have I mattered, though, no, I'm not proud

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Brave choices made when I should have cowed

Leaving a wake in the path that I sowed

Strewn dried leaves in the ground I plowed

Have I mattered, though, no, I'm not proud

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Warm winds belie the coming storm cloud

Nature takes no blame for what's disavowed

The guilt I hold, this umbrella won't absolve

Have I mattered at all, I admit I'm not proud

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Intentions fill a book left to lanquish, overcrowd

While pages are littered ashamed in shroud

Weathered with grief for what was allowed

Have I mattered at all, though, no, I'm not proud

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    • Angelme566 profile image

      Angelme566 4 years ago

      Very deep thoughts in here..voted Up !

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      wow what a awesome poem.. you are a true poet..

      blessings and sharing

      Debbie

    • BobbiRant profile image

      BobbiRant 4 years ago from New York

      Most of us are just a face in a crowd. To corporations and politicians, well, if we aren't the color of money, we don't matter. But, I, for one, feel like each of us does matter. We All have a story that should be told. Many more people can relate to our stories than we usually realize. Deep thoughts and food for thought. Voted up1

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You matter to me, m'luv. Always will.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      As usual this is beautifully written. I may have said before but I love the cadence in your works, the repeat in each stanza and your ability to draw upon deep emotions that each of us feels. Well done Amy!

    • Enigmatic Me profile image

      4 years ago from East Coast Canada

      The insignificance you alude to is palpable. And I am certain that we all at some point question our usefulness. But know that we may not always know who we matter to, or make a difference for. .. but we have to have faith that we do. The world is too big for us not to. Whether its a hub you write, a passing greeting you give, a sympathetic look, a fleeting smile, a knowing nod. It all matters. Be you and be proud!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      You matter... Up and awesome!

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dear Debbie, thank you, thank you, thank you!

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dear Bobbi, I think there are a world of people today that feel left out in the cold and on their own in deperate circumstances, treading water without a lifeline with the horizon far off in the distance. Poverty sucks the life out of both physical and spiritual health. It is an entity of its own, quick to enslave and difficult to crawl out of. In the same way, personal choices made have consequences. They set a path that often changes the course of not only one's own life, but impacts others in ways we didn't see coming. Though, not one of us is perfect, reflection can bring regrets, I think especially as we grow older. I think its beneficial to spend some time thinking about what could have been done differently, as awareness is a guide in the process of change. Then, do it.

      As always, Bobbi, thank you for your valueable feedback and support.

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dearest drbj, I can't think of any words I'd treasure more. Thank you

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Bill, my friend, your support keeps me trying! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Enigmatic Me, Your words speak to depth in understanding that made me shed tears...not out of sadness, but the cameraderie of hope, humanity and strength. Your sincere expressions touched me. Thank you

    • Amy Becherer profile image
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      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dear breakfastpop, Your words feel like a nice, warm hug. I'm sending one back.

    • allan harold rex profile image

      allan harold rex 4 years ago from gods own country,india

      the repetitive lines ring and rant with the with some very beautifully pruned imagery

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Thank you, allan harold rex. I like your artistic "ink" avatar. It is very unique.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      Thank you, Amy.

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      You're welcome, Pop. Just want you to know I consider you my friend.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Very good Amy, I liked this!

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I'm glad, Jackie. Thank you!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Oh Amy, You should be proud. You are a gifted poet. I love your honesty. I love your words that many people can relate to..Thank's for sharing

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Dear always exploring, If all I manage to do is write poetry that matters, has substance that rings true to someone as sincere and caring as you, I know I have mattered. You are too kind, my friend. Thank you for your touching, heartfelt message.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Creativity shining through. You and your poetry will always matter.

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Your words bolster my self-worth and confidence, Gypsy. My sincerest thanks to you.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      He'll YES! It's people like you Amy - that matter the MOST! Real people. Not celebrities who hide from the press or rocket scientist who are working on the future - it's real people like you that DO make real differences. Even if it's a small voice. It's a big difference to so many people that you touch and probably never realize how much you helped:)

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 4 years ago

      Of course you matter, look at all the supportive comments and compliments you receive amongst us your peers. We love you dearly Ms Amy and I am proud to call you friend. Your creativeness shines. Hugs

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Oh, Real, you make me cry. And, yes, the beautiful people here at hubpages, my friends, and all celebrities in their own right, make me stand tall. This piece was more of a write of regrets. Those regrets still sometimes haunt me, and have a way of bringing me down. But, I'm different, so very different now, as a result of writing and communicating with people like you, Real. The regrets taught me the importance of truth and the right to be who we are. Growth is a process and I'll never be done. Thank you for telling me that I make a difference, my sweet, smart friend.

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Sometimes, Vincent, I reflect and this was more about regrets for the past. I have grown, with the help of my friends here, for which I am and will forever be, incredibly grateful. I don't want to lose sight of what I've learned, especially those experiences that entailed regrets. Those lessons guide my development as a person. I am grateful for everyday in the gift to continue a journey of renewal and growth. Thank you for your uplifting, confidence boosting and loving words, my dear, handsome friend.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      We all have regret...anyone sho says they don't have any - are either lying or in denial. There are so many, many things I would change or do different but I can't. Accepting that we are just humans who err is so difficult. Don't have lots of regrets - we learn from mistakes too and by that - we sometimes help others avoid the same mistakes.! At least it's something!

    • Amy Becherer profile image
      Author

      Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I agree on all of your excellent points, RealHousewife. There is good in having regrets because it means we are alive. Wallowing in it helps no one and the best scenario is learning and not repeating. I am honest with my daughter in the philosophical discussions we have. Of course, she's a chip off the old block, and must do it her way, as we are all entitled to our own mistakes. But, I can't tell you how many times she has come back to me and said "Mom, you were right on." She comes to me now with respect in what I truthfully tell her. Personally, I've found that the lessons I've learned from something strong enough to make me regret, are the lessons I never forget. Regrets have changed me.

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