He Married My Best Friend - 4
I want you to imagine being me.
How it was to be me when the man I loved asked my best friend to marry him.
Asked in front of everyone at the High School Prom.
How it felt to be me, standing there and pretending I wasn't devastated.
I was good, give me that.
After a ten second freeze, I hugged my friend, laughed and smiled and grabbed the guy my mother had arranged to take me to the Prom.
I grabbed him, with this huge smile on my face and softly begged him to get me out of there.
Get me home where I could be hysterical.
Imagine being me.
So pathetic that I had no 'backup' date. My mother had to get a nice young guy
she worked with to take me.
When I got home, being hysterical over what just happened....if I wasn't upset enough, my mother advised it was likely that I would be asked to be the Maid of Honour at their wedding.
And I couldn't do that.
During the six weeks between Davy asking me to find out if Marjie would go with him to the Prom and the Prom, my mother had formulated a plan to have me study myself to death.
This would be an acceptable avoidance of the boy I loved and my best friend.
However, the 'bye product' was that I did very well and was accepted at a number of Universities.
One was in Hawaii.
And you know I was going to leave very early so as to 'settle in.'
Of course early meant end of August....meaning I had to live through July.
And I couldn't live through July.
Call me childish, selfish, spoiled, I don't care. I could not survive this. I did not want to see either of them again in life. If I did I would fall apart.
There was no way I could keep myself together, and told my mother.
"There's one thing you can do; spend the weeks with Grandma."
Now my Grandmother was maybe the most boring person who had ever lived.
Not just boring, strict.
I hated being around her.
Every year I was forced to spend a few days during Xmas; and every summer a week. It was okay because she had many other grandchildren to torture.
It was a choice of emotional purgatory if I stayed, or simple torture if I went, so I went to Grandma.
I called Marjie, telling her my Grandmother was sick and I had to spend a 'few' days with her.
I did not say a word to Davy.
After all, if I meant so little to him that he could have asked me to find out if Marjie would go with him to the Prom, he didn't need to hear a goodbye.
It's really strange to type this.
I knew Davy since I was a baby. I loved him with every atom of my being. I thought that he was my future husband.
I didn't date, because I was 'promised' to Davy in my head and in my heart. Yup. You read that right.
I graduated High School Never having dated anyone. My first date was that fix up my mother arranged for the Prom.
And Davy was in love with Marjie; my best friend.
So do you think I would waste a call to tell him I was leaving?
He didn't even know I was there.
I left without a word; packed and got on the train and in six hours was in Grandma's kitchen.
It was, on reflection, a wonderful place to hide. I spent the days walking along the beach or reading or watching television, occasionally interrupted by Grandma who wanted to talk or shop or go here there and next place.
She didn't pry; she assumed I was spending time with her because I'd be leaving for Hawaii.
Marjie called me at Grandma.
I acted as if she was still my best friend. She decided to set her Engagement party for the last week in August, when I'd be home.
Then she cried about when she would have her wedding, for I had to be there.
She decided to set it during Xmas when I'd be home.
I didn't say a word. Not then, nor would I ever. But hearing that warning, I was not coming home that Xmas.
I don't know what I would be doing, whether volunteering in a leper colony, cleaning dog doo from the streets, or on the drip in intensive care. But I would not be at that wedding.
But I lied so well Marjie believed me.
If you think about it, it's amusing.
At the time I didn't think about it.
I was going to the University of Hawaii not to get an education, not even to be in paradise. I was going to UH to be away from Marjie and Davy.
Everything was perfect, if I'd have bothered to notice, but all I was trying to do was keep myself from falling apart.
Study is good for that. It is distracting, and if you can get deep enough into a subject you can even forget to eat.
By mid October I began to breathe, and think and live and feel and join and enjoy and by December I had arranged to be on a study trip.
Every week I'd call Marjie, angling for a time she wasn't home, and about 50% of the time I was right.
I'd tell her mother how I was doing, and her mother would tell me what they were planning, and eventually, the fitting for the dress I would wear came up.
My mother, who I'd kept in the loop, decided that Next Week she would tell Marjie's mother that I couldn't be at the wedding as I was chosen for a special project, and if I backed out I would lose my scholarship...(or something like that)
"Look, honey, I played the villain for you before, during the Slave Mother period, I will make it clear to her that you can not jeopardise your future. She'll stop talking to me, Marjie will stop talking to you and the Chapter closes."
I realised I should of ended my friendship with Marjie when Davy asked her to marry him.
I should have ended it, and gone away and cut all ties, instead of playing along as if I needed to keep up appearances, as if I needed not to hurt anyone's feelings.
I didn't call Marjie.
I did send a gift, expressing sorrow I wasn't there. I guess I'm naturally dishonest, or maybe, I didn't want to let her know how hurt I was.
Marjie had been my best friend. How could she not know how I felt about Davy?
But she didn't.
Up until my mother's call she probably thought I was still her best Friend.
So sending that gift and card would annoy her, make her angry. She'd rail about how could I take her wedding so lightly? She would retract her friendship.
I didn't matter now.
I made friends. I enjoyed Xmas on the beach, I enjoyed my classes. I didn't come home during Summer vacation. I dated as any other student, nothing serious, for I was serious about my work.
My studies had kept me sane and focused. My studies would never ask my best friend to the Prom.