He Sees

I had given up on being seen and understood ages ago. The desire was never strong enough to cause sadness at its loss. It didn't create a void in me. It didn't become an unfulfilled wish. I just came to accept that I was different and couldn't be fully understood by those around me. I wasn't designed to care about the same things as so many and I was not made to be lost in the meaningless. Still, I was beyond blessed to have been accepted, embraced, and loved without the need for understanding. It ended up being the biggest gift I had ever been given save for my daughter. It taught me the most important thing I would ever learn. Understanding is not a requirement of acceptance.

Now, I am rendered completely still by the eyes that can look straight thru me. These eyes see me as amazing and exciting when I have come to see myself as simple and different. My head spins and my words fail me as I fill with gratitude to be seen when I didn't expect it would ever happen. I almost doubt that it is possible. The clearest I have been seen by the outside world is by those that read my words and feel my spirit but never see me in the flesh. How could these eyes see all of me and be filled with so much love? I try to doubt but it is pointless because the spirit tells me that I am seen. Everything hidden under this flawed flesh is seen. I am seen as beautiful despite the scars. Its seems like the first time my core is able to dance in vulnerability under the caring arms of one filled with love. I am not trying to please. There is no best foot forward, no facade and still these eyes see me as amazing. There is no desire to change me, to shift my views, or to 'improve' me. There is a want to be as close as possible, so much so that skin gets in the way and all I can do in the face of this grand gesture is smile and breathe deeply as my words fail me and my heart swells.

The whispered words 'the rest of the world fades away when I have you in my arms' float thru my mind as I realize that another has come into the world that has only ever existed within me and for my daughter. The is no fear of drowning in my depths. There is no fear of my dark places. Then the truth hits hard... do I know how to be seen? How do you keep someone happy that you are making happy with out effort or intention? A question I never asked myself before. The answer for me will have to remain the same... don't try. The flow continues and I embrace the loving gaze that burns straight thru me for as long as I am to have it. I am seen. I am opened and out pouring. I have no idea of the depths this current has for me and still there is no fear of drowning. Who I am in flesh and who I am in spirit exist at the same time in the gaze of another and I am amazed.

Thank you for the song!