Healing Heart Wounds

You were my universe, my world solely revolved around you and you were my life. With these words, I know you can imagine how much pain you caused me when you left. I was shattered, my world became black and white, every dream was a nightmare, every thought of you was a curse and every song I heard was a reminder that there was a gaping hole in my heart and in my life. A void that no one could ever fill.

I cried every night and it's not just a few tears and I was feeling blue, it was more of bawling my eyes out and shouting at the moon. I lost my sun, my love, and my life. I was crying every time and those times that I wasn't crying, I was going over your words when you left me. I tried every stupid attempt to win you back, but every attempt failed with a new bruise to remind me of my stupidity.

I started hating myself, thinking of how unworthy I was, of how unloved and how ugly I was. I reminded myself everyday, every damn day, that it was my fault why you left. I knew that t was already taking a toll on my life and I needed to cope, to forget and to heal. I tried everything I could think of. I tried to delete old messages, delete old conversations, delete contacts and any other things that reminded me of you. I stopped listening to music, stopped singing and stopped writing. I thought those were the answers, but I was wrong, it did nothing more than worsen what was. That's when I realized what I needed to change.

I started listening to music again, I started singing again, I started writing again and most of all, I started laughing again. Yes, once in awhile it would still hurt whenever I think about you, but I'm already on my way to recovery. I realized that healing doesn't mean forgetting what hurts, but knowing that what hurts doesn't control your life anymore.

It still hurts, but it's more like a sting of an antiseptic that's healing the wound.