Her Synopsis, Part 1
THAT SLIMY, G$%^&*#@!M P$%^&*@K!
Yes, I am Grace Kautt. I used to be Grace Wysocki. I did not know what I was thinking when I married that S.O.B. bastard. Okay, I was immensely attracted to John's physicality. You know the bad boy syndrome. He was spicy cinnamon to my vanilla, it you want to describe the relationship.
Before I dated John, I dated this boy. His name was Clifford Schuyler Haythorn IV. Okay, he was immature and quite aimless regarding his goals but he was a genuinely nice and fun person to be around. Contrary to what was said about my relationship with Cliff, I did love him. However, I wanted thrills, if you know what I mean, that was why I was attracted to John.
You see John had that well.............animal magnetism. John was about 6'5 tall and very muscular. He had dark ash sandy blond hair, a medium ruddy being skintone, and crystal hazel eyes. He was a looker but in a rugged way. He exuded a bad boy magnetism which was quite irresistible to women, not just me!
While Cliff was athletic, John seemed to like the rougher sports. In high school, he was a football player. You can tell by his physique that he LOVED to play it ROUGH, if you know what I mean!
John was vastly different from every boy that I have dated. His background was blue collar. He had a totally upfront personality. In the vernacular, he did not tolerate any bullshit and could smell it a mile away. Sure, you can say that his background was more hardscrabble and tough than the guys I was used to dating. However,THAT was the attraction!
John was different from every boy I have dated. His background was blue collar. Well, you can say that his background was more hardscrabble than most. He came from North Pittsburgh and his father, Paul, was a welder while his mother, Lena, was a housewife.
While his father was a third generation Polish-American, his mother was a Russian post-World War II displaced person who immigrated to America as a child. Both parents came from poor backgrounds. John's grandfather worked in the coal mines of Pittsburgh to support his family of 7 children. Lena's parents and ancestors have been peasants for generations.
Paul and Lena had 6 children and John was the oldest. Yes, his family was what one could describe aptly as being just barely subsistent. He did not care about that at all. He loved his family to bits. Whatever John wanted to do, he was avidly encouraged by his parents. He was told by them that anything is possible if one was willing to sacrifice and work hard.
John was never afraid of hard work. He was working before he could walk, you would say. As a boy, he had a paper route which he accumulated and saved much money. As a teenager, he walked as a bookkeeper for an intown pharmacy. He used that job to pay his way through college. He has a strong work ethic and has no patience for people who make excuses for their so-called shortcomings and inability to achieve.
John actually detested lazy people. He went to the University of Pennsylvania on a sports scholarship. While he was there, his GPA was a 4.0. I found this totally amazing for the fact that he worked part of his way through college, majoring in engineering and minoring in economics! Wow! Let me interject that my parents paid my full tuition while I attended Sarah Lawrence College and my GPA was a 2.88 and I majored in the humanities with an emphasis on French and Art History. To say that John is sharp is a total understatment in kind.
John then proceeded to obtain a Masters and subsequently a Doctor of Business Administration Degree with a concentration in economics. He had jobs lined up to the sky. A lucrative job offer from a Wall Street Fortune 500 company beckoned him to New York City. Naturally, he had a wide choice of sumptuous apartments. He decided to take an apartment on East End Avenue and 86th Street.
As you know John was on the fast track on Wall Street. The combination of his education and work experience resulted in his being a senior vice president with an extremely short time. He was on top of the world. Everything he wanted was his for the asking. Despite his spectularly phenonemal success, he refused to forgot his blue collar roots and his friends from the old neighborhood.
John used his success to buy his parents a house in an exclusive area of Pittsburgh. He also financially assisted his younger siblings in completing their educations. He believed in helping his family live a better life! There is not anything he would not do for his family. I sometimes think that he did more for HIS FAMILY than he ever did for ME! I simply could never understand why his parents did not adequately support his siblings. THEY had those kids, not him! Okay, okay, I had to express my anger!
Yes, John totally infuriated me at times. I felt that he treated me not like a princess but in a more matter-of-fact way. That is what I did not like about him! You can take the man of the blue collar background but you definitely cannot erase his blue collar psychology! He was blue collar all the way!
As you have noticed, John and I had very little in common when we met. Even though we each merely tolerated our respective socioeconomic and sociocultural differences, those differences eventually put a ridge in our marriage. Let me take a break. I need to walk around and collect my thoughts.
John was cool when I first dated him. He was fun, cocky, and totally uninhibited. The last characteristic was what really attracted me to him. He thought of nothing of going to forbidden and out of the way places. His attitude was rules were made to be broken. In his words, f*&^$k the g$%^&*(@m rules!
I was totally shocked by this of course. As you are well aware, I was raised very strictly. My parents inculcated me with the importance of being seen, not heard and obeying the rules. You see my parents wanted me to be a complete lady. In their estimation, a complete lady does not make waves and is totally subdued!
My parents did not tolerate any type of disobedience whatsoever. Oh no, they believed that children should be perfectly behaved and self-contained little adults. Yes, little adults who would be as unobtrusive as possible. My parents detested assertive, independent-minded, and questioning children. That behavior was considered to be totally beyond the pale to my German-born parents.
Their main emphasis in raising me was order, order, order to the infinite degree. Yes, I was raised to be a nice little girl who did not dare question her parents. To further ensure my obedience, my parents shipped me off to strict convent schools. What my parents did not do, the nuns finished the job. Yes, both my parents and the nuns did QUITE a job on me and I do not mean this in a positive matter!
In comparison of some of my friends who had permissive and quite enlightened parents, my parents were of the old Prussian school. Everything was considered to be quite sacrosanct. My parents never failed to let me know in no uncertain terms that THEY were the PARENTS and I was the CHILD who was to be completely subordinate to their wishes and command! I felt like I was in the Wehrmacht instead in a loving family.
I, of course, rebelled from time to time. However, my parents, especially my father, severely squashed any form of rebellion. My father was quite a draconian man. He was of the school that punishments and harsh discipline made the child, not love. He felt that too many parents let their children express themselves. Well, he believed that parents establish and implement the rules and the children follow them. Bam, no questions asked, just yes sir and yes ma'am!
I recall as a teenager. I was at a friend's party at Larchmont. I was staying at my paternal aunt's house. Well, she told me that I had to be home at 10:00 p.m. The party was just getting started at that time! I disregarded my aunt's instructions. I stayed at the party until 12:00 a.m.
I arrived home, and my aunt was totally aghast. She angrily told me to go upstairs. Unbeknowst to me, she called my father. I fell quickly asleep. The next morning, I heard loud German screaming in an East Prussian dialect. I then heard the bedroom door burst open.
I was awakened and saw my father's face. His face was red. He was bellowing that when I was given a curfew, I was to obey it! After he finished his tirade, he slammed the bedroom door. My aunt came in, explaining because of my act of willful disobedience, I was to be housebound the entire holiday weekend! Can you imagine- while my friends were out and about, I had to stay home. In addition to that, when I arrived home, my father proceeded to ground me for another month. Life with my parents was no day at the beach. In fact, it was equivalent to a day in a gulag........................
© 2012 Grace Marguerite Williams