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Here's To Uncertainty

Updated on October 7, 2012
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(a poem for the blinded heart)

I need a word, a verb-

“perturb”, perhaps,

Encapsulates

My dreams of broken smiles.

Worthwhile it was but will it be

Perpetual?


It burns and stings, shouts and sings

Until the hill of pain

Becomes a mountain,

A dying fountain- not of youth, but of love.


I need a cause,

...a pause…

To sink my claws in this whirlwind of our souls.

In control but praying to lose the sanity I’ve found.


I’m afraid I can’t keep you, can’t reap you

For your spirit I’ve never sown. Was never shown

The emotions behind your thoughts.

Only the chains and locks behind your knots.

Twisted curves of inky blots

Upon my wrist.


I need a reason, a season of pleasing

Apart from this desolate winter fantasy.

Your frost is too cold. Yes, I’m bold.

But remaking the first move’s got me twisted.

I’ve enlisted my heart,

Insisted I’ve given you as many signs

As your sidewalk will hold.


But you just drive by.

So, stop


Or I’ll fly.

Away with the red lights, my fire dims.

Passion replaced by fury.


Sterile “I love yous” fuel fears of perjury.

Open-heart surgery and saline tears.

Prescriptions of indifference bleed bitter wounds dry.

Purged lies calm the tides.

Cast off your disguise

And fertilize

The devotion you claim.


I need a brave knight,

Or this dragon shall never be tamed.



About This Poem...

"Here's to Certainty (a poem for the blinded heart)" is a performance piece. To truly experience the full potential of this poem, one must read it aloud. Although I recommend you make reading poetry aloud a routine, a performance piece should actually be read to an audience. Often times, performance poetry will contain alliteration, assonance, and rhyme to accentuate the poem's persona. Punctuation also plays a key role in the unfolding of a performance poem's events.


I wrote this particular poem several years ago during the beginning of my relationship with B (my husband). It was my heart's manifesto; a declaration of the fears I had at the time. You see, our love was actually born through lies, betrayal, and heartache. Although the story truly is as entertaining as it sounds, I'm not sharing the juicy details via prose. Not yet anyway. Until I feel comfortable candidly discussing that chapter of my life, I'll just have to express my memories through poetry.


The love B and I share began much like the popular "love triangle" theme in literature. In fact, a simple analogy speaks volumes of our beginning. B is Lancelot and I am Guinevere. Lucky for us, our tale played out quite differently than that of our Medieval counterparts. In fact, we are happily adding new pages to our story everyday... *wink*


Unfortunately, love triangles do not always lead to ultimate bliss. A guilty conscience, the sin of infidelity, and a mind full of insecurities can rip the very fabric of any love apart. Hence, I wrote a poem to speak my fears and face reality.


There really are no guarantees when it comes to matters of the heart. Love can be a fickle companion. It takes compromise and adaptation to maintain a healthy relationship and, in the end, no matter how much time and devotion you invest, there is always the chance that your love will fade. In truth, the heart is always blind.


It was this uncertainty of my heart's future that caused me to reach for the pen. And, as luck shall have it, fear of a broken heart makes a wonderful muse. The words, imagery, and metaphors in this poem really illustrate how I felt during that point in our relationship.


About the Photo...

I took this picture of B during one of our usual New Year's firework fests. While the shower of sparks around B are quite stunning, I find that it's his silhouette that gives the photo an alluring quality. Overall, I think this picture does a great job of symbolizing the mystery and wonder behind our relationship.


Comments

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    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      wait... have you ever thought about the term bear hugs? That's terrifying. Also, you should read my really sad poem about a bear...https://hubpages.com/literature/Dispatch...

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      LOL- hugs always win (well, genuine ones anyway)! Thanks for stopping by PDXKaraokeGuy! Hugs to you!!

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      bears are dangerous! But hugs are not. Which will prevail?

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      Thank you for reading & commenting, PADDYBOY60!! I truly appreciate it ;)

    • PADDYBOY60 profile image

      PADDYBOY60 

      6 years ago from Centreville Michigan

      Very beautiful. Thank you. Brought back some, not quite so painful memories now, of lost loves and the battles to keep them, only to lose.

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      A world of thanks for your sweet comment, PDXKaraokeGuy! Big bear hugs! ;)

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      Great work Tattoo Kitty. Glad to have found you!

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      Hi April! You are too kind *blushes*...lol! Thank you so much for reading and commenting ;)

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      I felt this poem from the minute I read the first words. They touched my soul and expressed some of my own hearts journey. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      Hey folks! Thanks for reading and leaving wonderful comments!

      VeronicaFarkas- Reading poetry alound is VERY powerful! Thank you for your encouraging words ;)

      hush4444- Mahalo plenty for your sweet comment! I can't wait until my students begin the poetry unit in January...it's always my favorite part of the school year!

    • hush4444 profile image

      hush4444 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      Wow, beautiful poem with such a lilting cadence. I can totally imagine it being read aloud as a performance piece. Your students are lucky to have such a talented teacher.

    • VeronicaFarkas profile image

      Veronica Roberts 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I appreciate that you did share it. It's very well written, & to read it aloud is powerful. You're a fantastic writer; full of passion!

    • TattooKitty profile imageAUTHOR

      TattooKitty 

      6 years ago from Hawaii

      A basket full of aloha to you, tsmog, for your generous words! The emotions behind this poem were so personal, I was a bit apprehensive about sharing it. Thank you so much for helping me feel more comfortable about publishing ;)

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      6 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Awesome. Question? This would be the type of poem I watch on PBS poetry contests? I have much to learn with poetry. I know I will learn more from you as time rolls along. Thank You Kitty , , ,for sharing the experience, the poem, and the pic - Pomaika`i

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