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Here's Your Sign, You Can't Fix Stupid, What Did You Say? Family Style
Did I Say That Out Loud??
You've done it. I've done it. We've all done it. That one comment that comes out of your mouth and forever haunts you via your relatives or friends memory. That comment you said before you thought. Or perhaps after you thought, which is even funnier to your family and friends! Its' what makes Bill Engvall so funny when he does his Here's Your Sign segment...because we can all relate. We've all said one, we've all had one said to us. Let me share a couple of the ones off the top of my head....and perhaps you can share some of yours with me!
I'm 15 or 16 years old, I live in Northern Illinois, most of my vacations have been a few hours from my house to visit relatives. My cousin and her husband decide to take my friend and I along with them when they take their son to the zoo. The Milwaukee Zoo. Now, I knew it was the Milwaukee Zoo, they told me that's where we were going. It took us a couple of hours to get there by car. We pull into the parking lot of the Milwaukee Zoo, and I look around at all the cars in the lot, and I say, quite brilliantly, "Look at all the Wisconsin plates, we must be somewhere close to Wisconsin." (For those of you as geographically challenged as I was, and still am if I'm honest, Milwaukee is IN Wisconsin!!!!) Go ahead, say it, Here's Your Sign!
Ok, Ok, just so I'm not alone out on this limb, I'll tell you one that my sister said to me last year. It's January, cold, snow covered, and icy. We have been driving around our small town looking for my 15 year old son. We finally get bright and text his girlfriend and ask if she knows where he is. She tells us where he was at last she talked to him, so I drive over there. I park the truck and go up the stairs to the second story apartment. He's just left to go home I'm told. So I head back down the stairs. As I get to the grass my feet go out from under me on a patch of ice and I fall, rather gracefully I thought, face first, spread eagle, on the snow. It feels like 10 minutes has gone by, of course it's not, but it feels like it, and FINALLY my sister rolls down the truck window and shouts "Did you slip?" I laughingly reply, "No I got tired running up and down those stairs and thought I'd rest a few minutes before heading home!" Here's Your Sign!
Just to prove that it really must be a family defect, I'll tell one on my oldest brother. I will preface this one by saying he wears glasses and has rather poor eyesight, so he does at least have an excuse for his...although he's said plenty more in his time that had no excuse! His wife was driving one day as they headed to their local church for services. As they begin pulling around the side of the building my brother spots a sign and gets very happy. He says to his lovely wife "Oh look dear, they're having a barbeque, the sign says Pork In Rear." His lovely wife proceeds to tell him, "That says Park In Rear you idiot!" Did I mention my brother is always hungry??? Here's Your Sign! (And NO it's not for a barbeque!)
Of course we've had out share of the regular ones, someone wearing their coat and Mom says "Are you going out?" The phone is up to your head and someone asks "Are you on the phone?" You come in the door and someone says "You're home huh?"
You've done it. I've done it. We've all done it. The funny part is, we'll all do it again! Here's Your Sign! Share some of your best ones with me if you would...I can always use a good laugh!