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Holding my head up

Updated on July 30, 2011

This is just how I feel sometimes

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you all the things I’ve been through

The heartbreaks and betrayal couldn’t all possibly be true


The let downs and set-backs, disappointments that keep coming everyday

Well not everyday, I have some good days I guess it only seems that way


But even the good days when I think everything is so wonderful and awesome to behold

Later I find it was all just a fantasy promising an end to the trials but really just another lie I was told


But I hold my head up cause I know I’ve got to be strong!

I can’t fall again! I was down last time for way too long!


That time that I slipped, that time I was found wanting will never happen again

I lost focus on the promise I forgot about the Son and just gave in to my sin


It took me years to recover from that mistake I thought I would never find my way back

Had to lose everything and go to prison three times before I even thought about getting back on track


But now I’m different, now I want to change, I wanna get back my life by doing things right

So I stopped giving in, I stopped getting high, I work a program and I try to follow the light


So everything is supposed to get better now I shouldn’t have to worry about any more heart break

I’m a good man again, at least I try to be but I still slam into walls how much more of this can I take?


Whatever happens I have to be a man and face whatever comes my way

Accept the things I can’t change and just get through one more day


I wanna say I’ll always stand strong but I know not to make myself a liar

Been holding my head up for so long not gonna lie homie my neck is getting tired

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    • profile image

      Uncle Dwain 5 years ago

      Could relate to all you wrote Jack, been there so many times myself and the last time needs to be my last. Don't know how many more times I got in me, getting to old for the game. I am very happy you are in a recovery program, a few years back I remember you didn't like that I was going to AA but time has changed and you are a smart man that can see the light in a lot of things now. As far as getting tired holding your head up, that's what is cool about the program of recovery. There always someone around that can help hold it up for you if you just ask. Love you Jack.

    • profile image

      Nicole 6 years ago

      Keep on keepin on. Remember, we all have another relapse in us...but do we all have another recovery? Worst day in recovery is better than my best day of using. And when your neck gets tired...theres always a hand to help you hold it!!

    • Jack West profile image
      Author

      Jack West 6 years ago

      Thank you Elijah :-)

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 6 years ago from dorothys kansas

      Voted up! lol

    • profile image

      Silly Me 6 years ago

      Cuz I am me

    • Jack West profile image
      Author

      Jack West 6 years ago

      Silly girl why do you always sign your comments to my hubs "me?" Like I dont know who that is. LOL You know I love you though stay silly.

    • profile image

      me 6 years ago

      it's always nice to know I'm

      not the only one that has gone

      through the same thing!

    • Jack West profile image
      Author

      Jack West 6 years ago

      Thank you mkrandhawa. I will keep going. I was just dealing with something but writing a depressing poem and putting my feelings in rhyme for some reason always snaps me out of it. I'm better now. :-)

    • mkrandhawa profile image

      mkrandhawa 6 years ago from India

      Great hub.

      you are a Good natured person.keep going.Best of luck