ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Holding my head up

Updated on July 30, 2011

This is just how I feel sometimes

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you all the things I’ve been through

The heartbreaks and betrayal couldn’t all possibly be true

The let downs and set-backs, disappointments that keep coming everyday

Well not everyday, I have some good days I guess it only seems that way

But even the good days when I think everything is so wonderful and awesome to behold

Later I find it was all just a fantasy promising an end to the trials but really just another lie I was told

But I hold my head up cause I know I’ve got to be strong!

I can’t fall again! I was down last time for way too long!

That time that I slipped, that time I was found wanting will never happen again

I lost focus on the promise I forgot about the Son and just gave in to my sin

It took me years to recover from that mistake I thought I would never find my way back

Had to lose everything and go to prison three times before I even thought about getting back on track

But now I’m different, now I want to change, I wanna get back my life by doing things right

So I stopped giving in, I stopped getting high, I work a program and I try to follow the light

So everything is supposed to get better now I shouldn’t have to worry about any more heart break

I’m a good man again, at least I try to be but I still slam into walls how much more of this can I take?

Whatever happens I have to be a man and face whatever comes my way

Accept the things I can’t change and just get through one more day

I wanna say I’ll always stand strong but I know not to make myself a liar

Been holding my head up for so long not gonna lie homie my neck is getting tired


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      Uncle Dwain 

      9 years ago

      Could relate to all you wrote Jack, been there so many times myself and the last time needs to be my last. Don't know how many more times I got in me, getting to old for the game. I am very happy you are in a recovery program, a few years back I remember you didn't like that I was going to AA but time has changed and you are a smart man that can see the light in a lot of things now. As far as getting tired holding your head up, that's what is cool about the program of recovery. There always someone around that can help hold it up for you if you just ask. Love you Jack.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Keep on keepin on. Remember, we all have another relapse in us...but do we all have another recovery? Worst day in recovery is better than my best day of using. And when your neck gets tired...theres always a hand to help you hold it!!

    • Jack West profile imageAUTHOR

      Jack West 

      9 years ago

      Thank you Elijah :-)

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 

      9 years ago from dorothys kansas

      Voted up! lol

    • profile image

      Silly Me 

      9 years ago

      Cuz I am me

    • Jack West profile imageAUTHOR

      Jack West 

      9 years ago

      Silly girl why do you always sign your comments to my hubs "me?" Like I dont know who that is. LOL You know I love you though stay silly.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      it's always nice to know I'm

      not the only one that has gone

      through the same thing!

    • Jack West profile imageAUTHOR

      Jack West 

      9 years ago

      Thank you mkrandhawa. I will keep going. I was just dealing with something but writing a depressing poem and putting my feelings in rhyme for some reason always snaps me out of it. I'm better now. :-)

    • mkrandhawa profile image


      9 years ago from India

      Great hub.

      you are a Good natured person.keep going.Best of luck


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)