I am the shell of a man with a monster inside.
I feel no fear nor do I feel pride.
I wear a hollow smile so others don't see the pain.
Wishing everyday that I could just be sane.
This isn't a dream, nor is it a wish.
It is a desire that I cannot reach.
I don't go to church because I don't want to listen to someone preach.
But I praise God and thank them for the breath I take.
Sometimes I wonder what others will say at my wake.
Will anyone come, will they even care?
Will I go heaven or will I damn myself to hell?
These are the questions that ring in my head.
Somedays I feel like I am already dead.
Lonely nights, and broken relationships.
When I am down, I am out.
When I am up, I feel like I can fly.
My wings are broken, so I only fall.
These are not excuses, they are feelings.
How many times will I have to apologize for my mental issues.
How long will I have to hide behind a hollow smile?