ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Become A Rock Star

Updated on April 10, 2013

Start off by being a nobody. Keep to yourself mostly, with a small group of friends you deem equally unusual. You are all individuals but are somehow all the same. Don't shower every day and grow your hair long until you strangely resemble your sister.

Buy a cheap guitar and small amp, and hang out in record stores and garages with your group of friends, making what you think is the best music you have ever heard.

Keep your door closed and don't talk to you parents for weeks at a time. When you know you should be doing school work, blast your GNR until your dad pounds on your door for you to turn it down. Wait patiently until his hand bruises. He will go away eventually.

You are sent home from school today for not wearing shoes and having too many tattoos. You can't seem to attract any type of girl, except the ones who don't own mirrors. You don't mind so much.

You plan on going through the motions until you're old enough to drop out. Explain to your teachers that it doesn't matter what your grades are, you are going to become a rock star. Arrogance and confidence are key. Sometimes, be an asshole. You don't buy into conformity, unless being an asshole is cool that week.

Once you escape the shrouded wings of your parents, move into a trashy apartment in downtown Los Angeles. Bring a few friends who can double as your band mates and roadies at the same time. Occasionally start a fight with one of them. Write songs about it.

Submit your draft of a demo tape to a record company. Get rejected for the first time. Act out by getting arrested and have one of your band mates/roadies bail you out. Write songs about it.

Submit your second demo tape to a different record company. Get rejected for the second time. Work at McDonald's for several months to make money for more studio time and meet new people. Talk only of your new band and do anything to promote it. Throw a party in your garage and play for your new coworkers. With your first few paychecks, buy a good amount of studio time. Write songs about your struggle to become a rock star.

Submit your third demo tape to yet another record company. They sign you only if you promise to clean up your act. You agree but laugh on the inside. They will learn to like it.

Record your first album with your songs, your friends' songs, and some of the record company's songs. Critics will not like your first album, so you get drunk and write songs about the pain.

Release a new single that everyone loves. Sell 10 million copies in the first week. Celebrate with your friends, band mates, and roadies, meeting new people and groupies at every stop. Waste away a good chunk of your life living off the money you made from your hit single. Spend all your money, sacrifice steady relationships with people for sporadic relationships with drugs and alcohol. Be a bigger person and check yourself into rehab, coming out a revitalized person.

Write more songs and collaborate with old friends, releasing a new album under a new name. Tour across the country on a crowded, stuffy tour bus, stopping between shows only to use the bathroom. Perform horribly at first stage show, witnessing everything go wrong that can, but progressively get better as the tour continues.

As a newly famed rock star, learn that all those years of illegally downloading music has actually come back to bite you in the ass. Record sales are down and your manager is hounding you for better material.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      6 years ago

      That's pretty much how it's done :) I enjoyed the read, earned you a vote up :)

    • kereeves3 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Salem, OR

      This Hub was inspired by a Tom Petty documentary I saw called Running Down A Dream. Although it worked out a bit differently for Petty and his band mates, I still picture him in the late 70s whenever I read this. In reality, Petty got into some good disputes with certain record companies, but ultimately came out on top. Love 'em!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)