How she was made to feel cheap
Cheap and Worthless
Hair pulled back
Tied up in a halfway kept ponytail
Pen and pencil tucked inside the band
The room is hot
The others even hotter
This room has no AC
Not that she would feel any cooler
The heat is on her
In a way she has never experienced
Nothing she does seems to be right
People she has just met
Seem determined to see her fail
She is the red-headed stepchild
The one whose family tossed her aside
Just walked in for her first day
Fighting back tears
Missing her home
Wishing she could return
To the place where she learned
Longing to belong
Where she once belonged
Hating to pretend
She is grateful when
Someone
Anyone
Shares
A knowing smile…for perhaps they remember…
What it was like for them
When they had to walk in
As the new kid
The new kid
Tries
She tries her best
To be the one
That will pass their tests
After awhile
New kid sees
There is no room
For a new kid
In such an ancient sea
New kid
Tries
Awakes before dawn
Tries to look her best
Project just the right tone
Newbie quickly learns
No matter what she does
There’s no way to pass a test
Where the test-givers
Refuse to give her a rest
Neophyte now
When once well-respected
No longer able to make it through the day
To many tears
Flooding the maze
No longer lonely
Just incredibly afraid
Of what she will face
What she will endure
For she will always
Be the new kid
In this world
A long ways from home
She will always
Be the one
So easy to blame
She is not a member
Of the in crowd gang
Thus she will try
Try over again
Having made it through
The first year…
But quickly she will find
The first year meant nothing
In this place where she resides
The in crowd
Does not give up
That easily
Now the new kid
Feels so old
Feels like she has
Been beaten
No longer real
Years of trying
Gone away
Just like that
For it was one day
When she no longer
Feels she has what it takes
To be of any worth
Just a burden now
So it made
The new kid
Throw it all away
*******************
Now the in crowd
Never saw what they did
Never understood
How cruel their actions had been
They just continue on
Doing what they do
Breaking down those
Not of their kind
Not of their ways…
One day
They may see
What it feels like
To be a new kid
To not have the warmth
Of where they have been
Perhaps then
And only then
They will understand
Just how they killed
The new kid
Over and over
And over again
Alone
“Cheap is How I Feel” by Cowboy Junkies
