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Christmas Fun with Scrooge
Are you tired of being nice? Are you tired of sharing your hard earned money with people in "need"! Bah Humbug! It's time people take care of their own selves!!!
So, I have compiled a list of things to do so that you can "scrooge" people and take the joy of Christmas spirit out of anyone you come in contact with.
How to Scrooge People Over
1. When people tell you "Merry Christmas" always reply with "Bah! Humbug!"
2. Yell at your employees and co-workers if they are late. Make sure they feel guilty for wasting precious time and money.
3. Never donate! Don't even give away spare change! Remember, you worked hard for that money!
4. Turn down all invitations to dinner parties and other social events. Top it off by scowling, "I don't do parties! Bah! Humbug!"
5. Save your money. Don't spend it.
6. Turn down the heat!!! YOUR WASTING PRECIOUS MONEY!!!
7. Don't believe those stories about ghosts coming to "change" you in the middle of the night. Ghosts are not real!! Bah!
8. When you see a little kid, just show it a mean face and scare them away. All they do is waste your precious time and money!!! Bah! Humbug!
9. NEVER buy Christmas presents!
10. Always work on Christmas Eve, day, and the day after! Never take a break.
11. Never listen to what other people have to say. They are complete imbeciles!
12. Always give people dirty looks.
13. Never smile. (Except when you are laughing at someone else.)
14. Don't do anything fun. Work all the time. Remember, earning money is what life is about.
15. Don't call your friends or family members. (Why even have friends or family? Remember, you HATE people.)
16. Never volunteer or do anything for free.
17. Overcharge people for your services.
18. Don't listen to music. Other than being a waste of time, it might make you feel good. (And you KNOW what happens when you start feeling good. You give away your precious hard earned living!!)
19. Be alone as much as possible. Only watch the beginning of A Christmas Carol. Never the middle or end.
20. Remember, you favorite saying is:
An Instructional Video:
Only Watch the Beginning!!!
Quit reading this ridiculous blog!!!
GET BACK TO WORK!
You are wasting precious time and money!