- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing»
- Dark Humor
How to Survive A Zombie Attack ( Tips And Tricks)
What's the scariest thing that could possibly happen? An asteroid hitting the earth? A huge gorilla suddenly jumps from your window? An alien spaceship lands in your yard? The Mafia rushes in your house searching for something you don't know what? Or the yakuza pointing their swords at you?
I know the one's I mentioned are pretty lame because nothing beats a ZOMBIE ATTACK! There are several reasons why they are by far the scariest thing on earth! (if they do walk the earth) First, they won't die because they are already dead! So shooting them in the head is basically not killing them. LOL. Second, they grip hard! Once they grab you, there is no point in struggling because they don't feel a thing and you are seconds away from being bitten. Third, they are so patient. These monsters will wait for you for days, months or years without even sleeping or eating. They are probably the ideal security guard. Lastly, you can be one of them with just a tiny bite! So you will eventually kill yourself or let a friend do it for you before you turn like one of them. Why suffer from such a trauma if you can prevent this from happening? How can you survive a zombie attack?
RUN LIKE HELL!
Basically, there are two types of zombies (as seen on TV and movies). The first one are those that are slow and just walks around the street waiting for a dumb guy to topple around and break his leg. The other one, which is the one you should fear, are those that runs toward their victims. The latter is certainly the type of zombie you wish not to encounter. Nonetheless, if you are in the department store or in the street walking with some friends and you see a zombie killing a random guy, don't just look, RUN! This is the common mistake of many because they are too curious about the fact that zombies do exist. Of course, they are the ones usually eaten next. RUN LIKE HELL! Never look back! It's best to stay with a crowd and treat them as your shields. Stay in the center and look for a safe and closed space. The police station is your best goal but if it's too far, a convenience store or a gun shop are good options as well.
TEAM UP WITH OTHERS
There is no way for you to survive alone. Have you noticed that most victims are attacked from the back? It's a wise idea to team up with other survivors so that someone can watch your back. However, don't just be with a group of cowards. If you want to survive, a group of cops or soldiers is the best. Going with your trusted friends is also a good move because you can be sure that they won't leave you no matter what. Your team should be united in one goal and that is to survive.Plan a formation and assign a certain task for each members by knowing what they are good at. Adrenaline will help anyone be stronger so there is nothing to worry about a member being incompetent. Be brave, unite and together all of you shall live!
DECIDE ON A DESTINATION
After forming a competitive team, you should all decide as to where you plan to go. It is best to watch the television or tune on the radio for this matter. The government will surely spread words about a certain place where all civilians should meet up. If all lines of communication are broken, the best place is the nearest military base. This place is probably the safest so you should aim to get there. However, if the journey is quite long, try to visit police stations along the way. There is a great possibility that there are still survivors there and your team can also get ammunition and firepower along the way. Stick together, work as a team and be extra careful!
STAY AWAY FROM HOT CHICKS
One of the most common scenario is when a guy sees a hot chick from a far. He will probably approach her and offer help but it would be too late till he realize that the chick is a zombie. BAM! Another meal for the hot chick zombie. This is a very important tip! Don't be too confident to anyone you might know along the way because you will never know if they have been bitten. You can let them join but always check on them for some signs of "zombification". Do not approach someone if you can't see his face. You can check still check if he is not a zombie from a far by letting him shout any word. Zombies can't speak so this is a very effective technique.
Do not be a hero. Let's say your team finally reached the military base. It is best for you to follow every instruction given. What's the point of going all the way there just to act like you know everything? They are the one's in charge and they are much more skilled in combat so its better to let them die for you. LOL. They are the one's who oath to protect the civilians. Just let them do what their duties. However, if the base lacks enough men and they asked you to help out, be willing to do so. They also worry about their families while having their own fears so you should understand if they sometimes manifest some weaknesses as well. The only thing you can all do now is wait. An antidote will eventually be discovered to end it all. If that doesn't happen, just enjoy the rest of your life living in a military base. Who knows, you might even meet a sexy solider or the man of your dreams there.
I hope this article gave you some helpful ideas on how to survive a zombie attack. If this do happen, I wish you all good luck! By the way, try to exercise from now on so you can run faster.