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How to kill vampires...A poem

Updated on August 14, 2012


There are certain ways to kill a vampire

Your courage I don’t have time to inspire

So listen well and listen quick

I have no intention of being a vampire picnic


The first has endured the test of time

And is an old favourite of mine

By cutting off their demonic head

You can be sure you have killed it dead


Second thing that works just right

Is to set the damn things alight

They all have a deep fear of fire

Kills nearly every type of vampire


Close your mouth and open your eyes

Can’t you hear the innocent’s cries?

It’s to time to find your backbone boy

We have a lot of evil to destroy


The third and most obvious way

Is to use the light of day

But not as easy as it sounds

As the undead like to hide underground


Four is the old stake in the heart

Parallelizes them so you can take them apart

But unlike the movies it won’t kill with one strike

And if you miss, be careful of their bite



Stop trembling and shaking your head

Fear like that will find you dead

Your only chance to survive this night

Is to listen up and don’t hesitate to fight


The most painful deaths for the demon is number five

Holy water that burns them alive

It’s a slow and torturous way to kill

But some hunters do it for the thrill


A lot of hunters, use number six

Thinking that modern guns are a quick fix

But unless you are using a shotgun or something bigger

A vampire won’t stop despite how many times you pull that trigger

Everything else you can learn as we go

I don’t have time to tell you all that I know

So remember these things and don’t get in my way

And maybe you and others will live to see the light of day…

© K.A.E Grove


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    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      Thank you so very much, I am very glad that you enjoyed it, and hope that you find similar enjoyment amongst my other poems and short stories, again thanks especially for the young lady part :)

    • RichERich1175 profile image

      RichERich1175 6 years ago

      You definitely bewitched me with your poetic style. I have always been drawn to vampires...and zombies for some reason. I look forward perusing through your other works. Awesome hob, young lady!!!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      :) ah Epigramman you certainly know how to make a girl blush, I am so glad that you liked this, I thoroughly enjoyed 'Nocturnal junkie' but being a fan of your darker side that shouldn't surprise you :)

      Thank you so much for very kind words

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...well I came up with 'Nocturnal junkie' .......

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ...well hot damn you're getting the epi-man all excited when he sees a title like that - in fact you may even challenge me to come up with my own wacky version although for sheer poetic finesse and imagination this one will be hard to beat!!

      As you know I always love your dark side and when I am going through a phase of writing lovey dovey stuff then I must come here and clear my head and see how a master does it - and you do it so very very well!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      I have to admit I am very fascinated by vampire and supernatural lore from history, its amazing to me that so many different countries have very similar legends, but you are so right it is all just fodder for the imagination of writers such as ourselves, thanks for the read :)

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 7 years ago

      Vampire killing 101. It's amazing how deep-rooted the legends are concerning vampires. The peoples of Eastern Europe must have encountered some really weird phenomenon in order for them to concoct and perpetuate such legends. All the better for us, though. We get to write spooky stories about the ancient lore. Nicely done. Cheers.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia


      so glad that you liked this :) indeed It would just annoy the vampire more I think, Thanks for the visit :)


      I have to admit I had a bit of fun writing this one, going up against vampires would be scary as all hell or just plain insanity to me, not something for the faint hearted :)

      So very thrilled that you liked this, thanks heaps for the vote up!

    • DjBryle profile image

      DjBryle 7 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =)

      Only the one who has a vampire inside can kill the vampire. =) I love your word play, nighthag! Voted up for a beautiful poem. =)

    • samiaali profile image

      samiaali 7 years ago

      I loved this nighthag! Those who think they can kill vampires with a gun, even a big gun, are very foolish indeed! Great vampire poem! :)

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia


      I am so thrilled that you liked it, great to have you visit :)

      Genna East

      Thanks so much, I seen this scene playing out in my minds eye very clearly and am glad that you enjoyed it


      That is so very much how I seen it when I first sat down to write this, some poor sap having to learn on the job getting the quick run down before all hell breaks loose, I am so so thrilled that you liked this!

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 7 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      Awesome! This so reads like a pre combat talk for the new guy. It felt so real, so in moment, like what you might hear some gorgeous "Buffy" type say in a modern movie before destroying a coven of vamps while spouting off cool quips and rocking the gratuitous violence. Excellent write!

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Wow! Very vivid and powerful!

    • BenWritings profile image

      BenWritings 7 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      haha love it.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      Sometimes the darkness in myth and legend can be a great release for the darkness that I think we all have in us, we are all capable of evil acts, at least the vampire has the excuse that it is just a soulless demon...

      Thanks nan for reading over this, even if you don't agree with the content :)

    • Nan Mynatt profile image

      Nan Mynatt 7 years ago from Illinois

      Very interesting hub. I consider a vampire the devil himself. They must have sold their soul to the devil. I advise do not go there in imagination, you might end up in the trap.