Humor Stories x
Why I left the Work of A watchman
After much ‘tarmac king’ and desperation for a job opportunity, I now decided that I should try my lack in a security company.
Securing the post of a guard in small scale security enterprises in Nairobi is very easy; all you have to do is carry your ID when seeking the job. This is because there are so many of them and also the many clienteles seeking the services. Such enterprises however usually pay peanuts as wages. Hence having no place or no one to rely on I decided to try my take in this area.
Clad in my job seeking suit, I gathered my charisma and bumped into a certain office named Masaba Security Services. In normal circumstances, such low paying firms did not conduct an elaborate interview for the one seeking the job. Ironically, I was subjected to a thorough and exclusive interview. I had not grasped the reason for this actually but I realized later that it was because of my dressing code; it was apparently unusual for a smartly dressed junk to seek such a low paying job. The interview process went on like this.
Director: what are your full names my friend?
Myself: my names are Silas Nyamweya.
Director: what is your educational background?
Myself: I am a form four graduate.
Director: why do you want this job?
Myself; I want the job in order to sustain myself and my family.
Director: what makes you like this kind of a job?
Myself; you see, I am trained in karate, judo and taekwondo, this makes me good in defense circumstances. (To be honest, I never trained in any of those areas except being self trained on a few tricks here and there.)
Director: Do you have any experience in regard to this job?
Myself; Yes I have worked in Babs security for some time.(In real sense I didn’t know anything in regard to Babs security.)
Director; why did you leave Babs?
Myself: I left Babs because they were not paying in time.
Director: Why couldn’t you just persevere, perhaps they could change the system.
Myself; I had already suffered too much under them and I could not persevere anymore.
Director: if things change at Babs, wouldn’t you go back.
Myself: No way, if I get opportunity here I cannot let you down again by skipping to another place.( In real sense I wasn’t real sure if I could stay in that company for long.)
Being over with their interview questions, I thought that they were now through with me, but I was wrong. I was told to draft an application letter. An application letter again? I thought this was too much, but resented when I imagined that all this hullabaloo was to put me in a special department. So I drafted what I considered a considerable letter. Here are the excerpts.
Masaba security Interface.
RE; JOB APPLICATION.
I hereby kindly apply for placement as a guard in your firm ( Masaba Security services.)
I am a man aged 27years and a diploma holder in journalism and mass communication.
I promise to work hard and to the best of my ability once I am given an opportunity.
Otherwise thank you in advance.
You may wonder what journalism and mass communication has got to do with security issues but that was my way of enticing them into giving me an office job. Apparently, they deployed me in a residential apartment as a night watchman.
Working as a night watchman in a residential area is not an easy affair as I realized, I had no rest time throughout the night, considering that I am a man who loves sleep. No guard can sleeps in this ever busy environment as some residents could arrive even at midnight and hurl insults if you delay to open the gate. Hence I used to stay as close to the gate as possible even when sleep was overtaking me. A number of times there was conflict between me and cunning residents over parking space or delay in opening the gate. The complaints went to the caretaker who confiscated my "bedding" and also cleared ‘the solders office’ thus leaving me with no place to rest at night.
The resultant sleepless nights, mosquito menace, night cold, and also the thought of confronting thugs with bare hands should they appear made me feel that I was doing the wrong job. Thoughts of resigning came to my mind, but these people could not give one anything if he left the job in the middle of the month. So I had to design a method that was less vulnerable to their wrath.
I bumped into their office and told them that I had just received a phone call from home telling me that my grand mother had just died (In real sense my grand mother had died long time ago) I promised them that I would report back to work immediately the funeral was over. That tactic actually worked very well for they gave me my dues.