Humorous poetry, The runs.
The 'runs' ' ain't' no fun.
I'm so darn tired of this starving celiac disease
I really try to stick to my doctor's ordered diet
But please!
Some days diarrhea is bound to occur
Other days constipation
Is on tap for sure
Bloating surely ' ain't ' no fun
People talking behind your back
Saying, " Just wait and see in five months, a new born son. "
' Ain't true
Just like my itchy eyes
' Ain't from the flu
A gluten free diet ( no wheat, rye, or barley ) is what my sadistic Doc. said
My Lord!
Have you ever eaten gluten free bread?
What would Ruby give for a cheeseburger on a juicy Sara Lee bun?
I'm willing to pay the price
Cos i know i will have to make a run
But by golly, i think i'll give it a whirl
Runs ' ain't as bad
As craving a chocolate ice cream swirl.
Comments
AUTHORHello Vellur, happy you thought it was funny. I'm getting used to the diet, it's not so bad...
It is funny and at the same time a sad state to deal with, great write.
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Hello Thandi, good to see you. Thank's for the wonderful comment....
Hi Ruby, it is wonderful to read your poem this morning. keep writing!
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Hello Susan, Glad you enjoyed. Thank you...
Wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing.
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Hello Leni, I thought i had IBS at first, the symptoms are similar except for a rapid weight loss. I lost twenty lbs. in one month. Glad you like my flowering comode. lol..Thank you...
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Hello torrilynn, I wrote this for a good laugh and you had one. Goodie. Thank you for stopping by...
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Hello Susan, Happy you enjoyed my nutty rant. I had a good Thanksgiving day. I hope you did too. Be well my friend...
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Hello Audrey, Really, i'm doing fine. As long as i stay on a gluten free diet, i feel good. The one thing that bothers me the most is bread. I have not found a good white bread that dosen't taste like sawdust. lol..I read that several companies are coming out with better gluten free foods. I hope so. Thank you for caring about me my friend...
Could also sum up IBS! Brilliant poem - voted up awesome, funny and in a strange way beautiful especially the flowering toilet at the end.
I cound this to be funny even though you may get the runs from eating food you shouldn't eat. Haha thanks for the laugh. Voted up.
Better late than never :) .... This is pretty funny Ruby. Hope that you're having a good Thanksgiving weekend.
Hi Dear Ruby - I wanted to come back and read this again and to see how you're doing. Thank goodness for your wonderful sense of humor!
Take very good care, my friend. ~ Hugs, Audrey
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Hello Thelma, Thank you..Happy you enjoyed..
Very funny! Thanks for sharing.
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Hello Ricky, What happened to my pride? lol Thank you for sharing. I still wonder what came over me to write this very personal piece. LOL
LOL, well worth a second look Ruby:) Laughing my... well, you know:) Shared on FB this time through. Hope all is well and take care dear friend. Best wishes always.
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Hello nighthag, HaHa..Thank you..I'm stuck on your comment,,Hee
I am sure that many people will agree with your sentiments here :)
truly there are some things in this life that really are worth a night stuck on the loo...
I totally enjoyed this!
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Hello Ricky, You crack me up..CLEANSED..HaHa..Thank's my friend..
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Oh Audrey, not you too? I could eat a double large pizza and beg for more. Hee We can have all the rice we want..Woopee, NOT..Thank's my friend..
Voted up, awesome, and funny!! Ruby, what a great poem! Ohh, my chest hurts from laughing! I know it is no laughing matter, but still! LOL Awesome work my friend. I agree, some things are well worth it. Plus, it never hurts to be cleansed:)
Oh I feel your pain Ruby!! I miss pizza the most really--and gluten-free bread--well, let's just say I'd rather have rice for breakfast---
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Hello Gals, I still love to laugh..Hee..Really celiac is not so bad, finding out the problem was the worst. When i quit eating gluten, i feel fine. Thank you for telling me you got a kick out of this nutty piece..Hee..
HaHaHa... I'm still laughing with a bit of sympathy and empathy included. Great to see you have such a sense of humor. Poor baby.
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Hello Becky, LOL..You got that right..Thank you....
LOL. What a great spin on a free will stealing disease.
~Becky
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Vinaya your comment made me smile " niceties of life " makes my ' cup runneth over ' Cheers my friend..
Ruby,
what a wonderful thing to read this morning, here in a Kathmandu.
Loved your work packed with niceties of life.
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Hi Epi, Thank you again for the videos, you are a gem. Enjoy the game and have a safe night at work.
Hugs to you and your two babies.....
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Mike you made me lol but fig newtons have wheat, so no can do. Love your poem. Thank you my friend...
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Hello Fossi, Truer words were never spoken. ( not getting younger. ) Hee Poor Epi, i guess the leaks are just as bad as ' the runs '..LOL..
Love ya back!!
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Ah Mar, Today is a good day. We had a good laugh and that's what i needed. Thank's my Dear friend...
I am just checking in with you Ruby and I am most glad you received my video links - we three, Colin, Tiffy and Gabriel , are sending our love to you from lake erie time canada 6;30pm and just about to watch the Leaf hockey playoff game and then off to work at night shift
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Martie i checked out the link you sent. Rooibos tea must be really good for you. I have never seen it, but i will check more closely. Thank you Dear one...
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Hello dreamseeker, I'm with you, Chocolate ice cream is my weakness. Thank you...
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Epi, You crack me up! LOL ..Thank's for a fun comment and thank you for the videos. I appreciate you my friend..
Oh, that horn will be tuten
From the effects of a mouth full of gluten
Oh, fell the scourge of Rasputin
As you reach for another fig newton
You're so funny, Ruby, poor sweet thing . . . and I'm giggling at Epi's comment about remembering to wear his old man diapers! We're not getting any younger, hang in there! Love ya, Fossi
It is delicious tea, Ruby...I have a private supplier from SA...!!
My pride ran far away as well...at least we are hysterical ( as in hee hee)!
Ruby, Rooibos Tea is a very tasty and refreshing tea. You will love it with or without milk and sugar.
Pretty cute, always! : ) I think I'd prefer the ice cream though...lol! Voted up and funny!
I laughed so hard here Ruby my dear that I forgot to run to the bathroom and now I don't have the runs but oh lordy what a mess.
Thank goodness now that I am an old man I remembered to wear my old man diapers but I shall always run to your hubs because they always inspire me with all of the great emotions in life - happiness, sadness, humor, philosophy , awesome writing and of course the star attraction herself - you!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sincerely hope all is well with you my dear friend these days and Colin and Tiffy and Gabriel are sending their good thoughts to you on this early summer's day by the lake of erie at 5:35pm
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Hello Audrey, You too? ' ain't ' it the pits? Hee..Oh i forgot NO PITS...Sorry you've had this problem, but we gotta take the high road or else we would let it get us down. Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement..Cheers my friend..
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Hello Eddy, Good to see you. I am glad you got a kick out of this. Thank's for coming and sharing....
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Hello Martie, LOL..Sophisticated, no way, hosay. Smelly for sure...Hee..What is Rooibos tea. I am drinking green tea, YUCK..
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Hello Skye, Happy to meet you. Thank you for starting to follow me. I am glad you got a chuckle out of this nutty write. I am learning to live with this, i am just happy to find out the reason i was having the problems. Thank's again and don't worry, i never give up. I release any stress by writing...Cheers..I am following you too...
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Hello wabash annie, Happy to meet you. Thank you for starting to follow me. I lived in Wabash county until i got married, Mt. Carmel, Il. Where did you live? I read your bio. It is strange so many people unable to tolerate wheat. The Doctor said that it is becoming more prevalent nation wide. I wonder if it is the chemicals farmers are using? What is always maxi? Thank you. I am now following you..Cheers..
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Hello Mar, Can you imagine? What happened to my pride? Hee..See you at our place soon....
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Hi drbj, I was diagnosed with celiac a few months ago, really it's not that bad except, almost everything has wheat in it. Walmart has started offering gluten free food, it's funny, i missed noodles more than anything, now they make them gluten free but the cost triples the regular. Thank's my friend...
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Hi Vellur, glad you enjoyed, always good to see you..Thank you..
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Hello Martin, Thank's but you're the limerick writer..Cheers....
Poor Ruby! I've gone through celiac problems myself and so relate to this funny (but not really when you're the one going through it) poem.
You're a trooper for taking the high road and writing this really fun poem. Hugs!
Oh so funny.
A great share my dear friend.
Got to vote up and share.
Havea wonderful day.
Eddy.
Lol! There are things we know we should not eat, yet we eat them because they taste so good. Too bad the consequences don't smell so good.... :)
Have some Rooibos Tea, Ruby!
always Wow this led me to think of my mortality. As much as I would like to deny this Ole tent is not what it used to be I am not youthful as I once was and long to be again. I suppose we can be youthful even when the Ole tents are falling apart. It is in the attitude. Many Blessings to you. Keep going. You will you can Phil 4:13
Got a chuckle out of your poem. Honesty is hard to swallow sometimes. You done good. Love, Skye
I really enjoyed this poem! Life can be stressful when bathrooming us what preoccupies us most. I don't have celiac but wheat does a number on me and it seems to be added to everything. I read labels constantly and buy large boxes of Always Maxi from Costco.
Dear Ruby,
There is nothing like a nurse with a funny bone...in your case, your writing arm!
Voted UP and FAB. Love you, Maria
Aw, poor Ruby, have another chocolate ice cream swirl I say,
It's bound to make the pain of gluten-free eating go away.
Trust me!
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Hello Bill, HaHa..Really it's not a bad diet, except for the bread. I've been reading that a gluten free diet is a healthy way to eat even if you don't have celiac... I just thought i would have some fun..Happy it made you laugh..
Funny!! Made me laugh!!
Very funny. A limerick writer in the making.
LOL....I guess the writer's block took a short vacation. Very funny although the reality is a bit short of funny. :) Well done my friend.
blessings always
bill
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