- Books, Literature, and Writing
I Blame You
Sunset at Toledo Bend
I Blame You!
I can’t remember the day you left.
I’ve tried to remember the first day I allowed myself to speak the words, “he’s gone for good this time.” ... I know it was partly my fault.
Who am I kidding? It was all my fault. I know I told you that I never wanted to see you again. I know I said things that I now regret. I know I screamed; I cried. Baby I know you tried. I thought you knew I lied…..
I know you tried to love me. I know now; I get it. I just hope it’s not too late. What happened? Why didn’t we play out the part where you came back?…..
Remember, you always came back; you came back over a thousand times. What happened? Did you finally believe me that last time? Did I perfect my performance to the point of fooling even you? Or did I leave you feeling like your hands were tied? Were you spent from watching me cry dry tears?
The man who knows me as well as I know myself was supposed to see it was all a lie. When a heart cries it’s never clear what piece broke first. How did I become addicted to your smile, your calm spirit, your beautiful brown eyes? How was I supposed to know what to do when a heart cries from insecurity of events that never occur?
I blame you! You should have never held me the way you did. You should have never told me everything would be alright! You never should have told me you love me. You should have never let me see the world through your eyes.
You know me better than I know myself. Is that how you knew the door would be open? How did you know I would never forget you? How did you know I would never love anyone but you?
I blame you! You cast some crazy spell on me and now my heart cries when I think I might lose you again.
But this time, Ahh!, this time I won’t send you away.
This time I promise to cherish you and love you for life. This time will be our time!
I still blame you! You never gave up on me. You gave me the time and space I needed to grow into the woman we need me to be……
Yeah, I blame you for showing me love. I blame you for teaching me how to love a man like you. I blame you for everything good in me…… you did that and
I blame you