I Look for You

I look for you in the air I breath. I look for you in the day and in the night. I look to my phone and look for your words. I look for you in cyber space. I go to the places that remind me of you in hopes that seeing you in my minds eye is enough. You are stuck inside my mind. You are in my thoughts and in my heart. It fuels a desire to search for something that I am not destined to find. It inspires thoughts of a future that only exists in my mind and heart. Frustration influences my actions. Still I insist. My desire has evolved into a need. Need breeds disappointment. Your ability to make me feel whole and at peace has made me feel more alone with out you. Sometimes I feel trapped in this life. Empty. Lost. Scatterbrained. Unfocused. You are the medicine that I have come to need. The addiction that I am desperate to feed. I am stuck in this rehab state that feels permanent, wanting and willing to fall off the wagon but my drug of choice is not available to me. You are not able to live for me.

Does this mean that I regret? Would I change my choices if it meant that I didn't have to feel this? The answer is NO. The human mind back slides and plays games. I remain the same. I do not regret the best or the worst because I believe that they are both linked. If you remove the worst than the path that brought you the best would also be removed. I wish that I could find you and keep you. I wish that I could...