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Standing in the Clouds Today and More Poems of Pondering

Updated on February 5, 2016
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Standing in the clouds today,

Aware that I am not alone.

The sun falls down upon my face,

Somehow I feel you've came back home.


My eyes fall down upon the ground,

As thistles gently dance for me.

The lilting breeze the only sound.

No mortal man here to see.


Soft bird calls caress my ears,

An ethereal sound as peace ensued.

I thought of when you’d smiled and said,

‘When I'm gone, I'll watch over you.'


I hadn’t really understood,

Youth is blind and doesn’t see.

Now standing on this peak today,

Your words finally make sense to me.


The smell of Pine fills up the air,

Soft dampness formed from morning dew.

I feel a swell within my heart,

Aware a bridge has formed to you.


The clouds seem to be so close,

I want to raise my arms up high.

To touch those soft and weightless dreams,

To feel that bright blue endless sky.


I don't know if it is this place,

With life and beauty everywhere.

Perhaps because its been ten years,

Maybe an answer to a prayer.


In this moment here and now,

Surrounded by those drifting clouds.

I sense your smile warm my skin,

I feel your presence all around.


Love is anchored deep inside,

You'll always live within my heart.

A bond was formed that cannot end,

Our souls will never truly part.











Source

We Never Really Lose Them

Do you still feel your loved ones whom have passed are near you?

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Her Strange New World

Her eyes are blinded by the unfamiliar glare,

As sunlight dawns upon new skin.

The safe confines of nurtured hold,

No longer held deep within.


She was dispelled and displaced,

Her passage drew a map of pain.

The bestower of life had never known,

Consuming, searing then gone again.


Lost from her protective cocoon,

Replaced by a strange new world.

As spring shoots slowly reaching for light,

Rose petal fingers softly unfurl.


Lost to all her mind has known,

Surrounded in uncharted land.

An awareness of her hunger dawns,

The call to survive as nature planned.


Pure and precious breath pulls in,

Then urgent cries, her wants ensured.

They gaze in wonder at their child,

Teardrops drop. Fears reassured.


They feel a joy inside so sure,

That no-one could ever have conceived.

The love endowed in genes and souls,

Their reason for being. Or so they believe.

Source

His Late Bilsdungsroman

As I sit on the precipice,

Eyes fixed on a shard of light.

Scribing my own bildungsroman,

A single chance to get it right.


As I glance back over time,

Wondering why I stooped so low.

Hoping I can still walk tall,

Desperate for a means to grow.


Lonliness was all I'd known.

From birth just a tiny blight,

Crowded room; but all alone,

Never could get it right.


Seeing no-one at my back,

Shutting down those inner doors.

Surviving, trying to stay intact,

Inside scars as open sores.


Passing through those fleeting rooms,

No one there to call my own.

In angels I never did believe,

Then she came and took me home.


Foster mother or gift from God

I really wasn’t sure.

I found I slowly thawed inside,

All my issues, she endured.


On the awful day she died,

I laid down my tired, young head.

The precious mother I had known,

Replaced by hopelessness instead.


I began to try in school,

Working hard to make her proud.

I thought I'd found another way,

To let all the sadness out.


Time passed on, now a man,

I met a kindred soul one night,

Blue eyes filled with hope and care.

A smile that chased my pain away.


Although I felt a love inside,

I felt I needed to be free,

I had to run. I killed her pride.

She then mourned her time with me.


No ties to bind, no noose around me.

I heard my son was born one day.

A link so close I couldn't see,

Another life I had betrayed.


I sent money to ease my guilt,

She wrote on his birthday every year.

Trying to force the ties and binds.

With photographs which fuelled my fears.


I saw my eyes as I gazed,

Then tried to wash those thoughts away,

Work became my mind's back door,

The reason for getting up each day.


Blacking out my thoughts and fears,

With sad affairs and booze.

Now my hair, it comes in grey,

Twenty years I choose to lose.


Today I am going to meet my son,

I don’t expect too much, you see.

I never went to look for him,

He was the one who sought out me.


Upon my path in this life,

Too many tears I’ve cried.

Repeating patterns of generations,

I could have broken, I should have tried.


I cannot change the past,

Fear caused my loss of sight.

My own boy says we can try again.

With the time that I have left,

I will try to make things right.

Sometimes You Just Can't Sleep

Source

Are You Sometimes a Sleepless Soul?

Sometimes do you see every hour on the clock turn?

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Sometimes You Just Can't Sleep

Another Sleepless Night...


I cannot sleep once again.

Surrounded in silence, like a lone wolf.

Woken from a very potent,

not very pleasant dream.

Whilst night's embrace devours me,

dangerously dark and thoughtful,


Wind breaths on my window,

dubiously waking the dead.

In my head, I want to sleep,

clock softly ticking, as I try to sleep.

Morning is coming. Cruelly creeping...

up on me ...... like old age.


How will I get up? Tarnished by tiredness.

Less than six hours, and I am no good.

Given to daydreams and yawns.

Victim to slow thoughts and tantrums.

A fool to be fractured by nocturnal reverie.


The cold, dark air is biting me,

as I clutch the covers tighter.

My head runs in reeling rings.

Whilst only darkness stands still.

Dancing between my vision's doorway.


My mind turns torridly over,

restless disjointed cogs of thoughts.

This to do. Doubting that.

Soaring damnations of calm.

Why can’t I drift away?

a bobbing bottle on the tide.


Tick tock, crows the clock,

taunting my tortured ears.

I wonder how I will face the day.

As night shrewdly slips away...

to rest his weary eyes.

Source

© 2013 Anna Haven

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    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 3 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Very much deep and captivating throughout. Loved every bit of this poem. Keep up the good work. Shared and votes ++++++++++++++

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very beautiful and moving, Anna! I love your poetry, and it always leaves me thinking of life and lessons learned. Thank you for this lovely start to my day.

      bill

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Anna, this is awesome. I felt the warm caress through your words. The power and beauty of the soul is a gift of life to be treasured forever.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou very much dghbrh for taking the time to read, leaving a kind comment, the votes and also for sharing.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou Bill.

      That was a nice thing to say about it starting your day well.

      Anna :)

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou Bravewarrior :)

      Thankyou for liking it and thankyou even more for your brilliant encapsulation of the soul.

      I really love your way with words.

      Anna

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      Lovely poem, Anna. It speaks to each of us who have lost loved ones. I believe that death is just a door that takes us to

      the other side. And, yes, I believe they can watch over us and even come back to visit us in our dreams.

      Your poem demonstrated this idea perfectly.

      Great work, Anna.

      DJ.

      voted up!

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou DJ

      This one was for my Granny; who I loved very much.

      I totally agree with what you said above and I completely believe in everything you said.

      I was over at your page at roughly the same you were here! Small world :)

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant as always Anna.

      Have a great weekend.

      Eddy.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. This was so touching and wonderful. Passing this on.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou Eddy; your very kind.

      You have a great weekend as well.

      Anna.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou Gypsy Rose Lee for the vote, share and especially for liking it.

      Anna :)

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Captivating, lovely work, Anna.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Anna,

      This is absolutely beautiful and touching! Who hasn't lost someone they've loved so dearly? This is a must-read for everyone!

      You really put it together so well, it read itself to me!

      Love it! Oh and I love it! :D

      Cat

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 3 years ago

      A sense of the presence of a lost loved one felt in the solitude and beauty of natural surroundings...you have captured it so very well :-))

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      That was one of the lovliest things that I have ever read. We don't ever need to say goodbye when we are that nearby.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Wayne for reading and commenting.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Cat. I am glad you liked it :)

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Valleypoet for always being a supportive voice :)

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Aviannovice you really felt what I was trying to say. Thank you,

      Anna.

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 3 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      The only thing missing is the flesh - everything else seems to remain, as you've illustrated very well, Anna....a long distance relationship that may one day be resumed? I'd like to think so : )

      Peace & Goodwill,

      R.Q.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Hi RQ

      I like that 'a long distance relationship that one day may be resumed'. Sounds like a poem.

      I like to think so too :)

      Thank you.

      Anna

    • LKMore01 profile image

      LKMore01 3 years ago

      Anna,

      This is so beautiful. There is a sense of peace that can actually be felt as you read the words. And you are right...we never really lose them.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Beautiful beautiful write Anna--

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Beautiful words and meanings, wonderful poem anna, voted and shared!

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 3 years ago from Morocco

      Stunning and so beautiful.I voted up

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      This is a beautiful poem and obviously full of deep meaning for you. I enjoyed reading it. You certainly are a very talented poet.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Hi LKmore01

      Sorry for the delay in responding; I have been on holiday.

      Thank your very much for taking the time to read my poem and for your kind comment.

      Anna

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank your very much Audrey.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Nell for reading, leaving a nice commment and for sharing.

      Anna

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Hi James-Wolve.

      I am glad you like it. Thankyou very much for taking the time to read it and for the vote.

      Anna

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thankyou very much rebeccamealey for your kind comments and for reading.

      Anna

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      This beautiful poem seem to capture a perfect moment in time, when it all makes sense, almost transcendental. Superb writing.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you very much tobusiness for your very kind comment and for taking the time to read my poem.

      Anna

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Love is anchored deep inside,

      You'll always live within my heart.

      A bond was formed that cannot end,

      Our souls will never truly part.

      Beautiful words and voted up.

      Eddy.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Eddy for the nice comment and for the vote.

      Anna :)

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Love never dies. And those we love are often very close by! This is a beautiful expression of that!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Sadness in a grouping of words.. this is poetry.. wow I loved it.. Valleypoet is one of my favorite poets here on hub.. but you can easily give him a run for his money.. again wow

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      I think so Theater girl. Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you Frank Atanacio for reading and your kind comment. Valleypoet is an excellent writer; so you really gave me a big compliment.

      Anna

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 3 years ago from TEXAS

      Anna - this is so poignant and lovely, filled with sensory connections when one has experiences similar loss of a loved one and remembrance of before that. My beloved George Hay departed five years ago Sept. 5th but his presence lingers yet.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you for reading and commenting Nellieanna

      I have just read your beautiful hub about your love. Some bonds can't ever be broken and I believe love really does transcend everything else.

      I am glad you can still feel his presence and still hold him so close in your heart.

      Your love burns brightly even from your writing and it is a pleasure to read it.

      Anna

    • markdarmafall profile image

      Mark 3 years ago from Moundsville,WV

      Wow! another touching piece of writing. I felt as if my deceased loved ones were right beside me as I read your words. Like guardian Angels letting us know all is well and that we will soon be reunited with when that trumpet someday sounds.

      Mark

    • wetnosedogs profile image

      wetnosedogs 3 years ago from Alabama

      Beautiful words. Believing makes it so.

      Thank you for writing this.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks again markdarmafall :)

      I believe that they are really near us and that we never really lose them.

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Thank you wetnosedogs for taking the time to read and also for your kind comment.

    • JPSO138 profile image

      JPSO138 3 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      Every now and then I think of my father. He passed away just about a year ago and until now, I keep saying to myself, how I wish he is still here with us right now. Reading your hub, makes me want to cry but also gives me the feeling that he is still around, watching us and making sure that we will be okay. Up for this hub!

    • Anna Haven profile image
      Author

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Hi JPSO138

      I am sorry to hear about you losing your dad and that reading my poem made you want to cry, but I am really glad that you also took from it a belief that he was still near to you.

      I totally believe that when we lose people they are never really far from us and love can't be broken; we just can't see them.

      Anna :)

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