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"I Want To Be Dead": A Spoken Word Anthem For A Suicidal Generation

Updated on August 1, 2017
wrenchBiscuit profile image

wrenchBiscuit said: "Being born is the most severe form of suicide. Not ending in a moment. But one moment ending for a lifetime."

This poem is provided as text and spoken word video. I have offset the humanity of it all by using a machine to recite the spoken word. She has a very sexy voice, and so it pleases me. This is a great poem for everyone who is looking forward to going to heaven, or at least a step up from this particular hell.

I Want To Be Dead

Some people want to be rich and famous
Some people want to buy a new house
A new car
Some people want a new job
And speaking of jobs
Some people want one that blows
Some people want one for their nose

I want to be dead
I'm tired of living
Oh sure ...
I am a talented person
I could still become a millionaire
But eventually I will be dead anyway
So why should I care?

Is there a woman out there
who knows how to make chili and angel food cake?
Who is horny as sin and wants to throw my back out of place?

But I've been there before
And when you get a little bit you're never satisfied
You still want more,and more,and more
That's why rich people get down with the sickness
They are very rich and they are very bored

And so they become freaks of nature
For instance: They might get naked
and have a prostitute tie them upside down
over a toy train going around the track
with a "Make America Great Again" slogan painted on her back
Clickety Clack
Clack Clickety

I want to be dead
I'm tired of living
Oh sure, I am a great songwriter
I could still become a millionaire
But eventually I will be dead anyway
So why should I care?

Tomorrow the sun will rise
And the sky will be blue again
But it will never be new again
I'm tired of kidding myself
Sometimes we just live too long
Yes, ignorance is bliss
And it's something I miss

If you can't shoot me now
Then just hit me in the head
with a very dense and blunt object
Maybe I'll forget who I am
Then tie a ribbon around me
and ship me off to Japan
Maybe that's what I need
To make a new start in a strange new land

Let someone else take my place
The homeless kid in the ghetto
A Syrian refugee
A Palestinian
A Mexican who needs a break
A white man who makes $75,000.00 a year
and suffers from reverse discrimination
Give them a chance
Perhaps they might find some joy in living

Oh! Jelly! Jelly! JellY!
Sounds like a blues song does it not?
Damn straight it does!
"Cause I'm dripping with the blues
You'll probably read about me in the Sunday Paper
Or see me on the evening news

'Cause I want to be dead
I'm tired of living
Oh sure, I'm good looking
And if you've got the hammer
I've got the nine inch nail
I could still become a millionaire
But eventually I will be dead anyway
So why should I care?

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON

© 2017 Ronnie wrenchBiscuit

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    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 

      5 months ago from Florida

      I don’t know why, but here is where I ended up after turning on CNN and discovering the world renowned chef, Anthony Bourdain, died by suicide in France.

      I purposely came here to your page to read your words. I have never read this poem of yours, and without thought I knew I was supposed to read it at this very moment.

      With Anthony Bourdain’s suicide today and the famous handbag designer, Kate Spade’s, suicide days before, it really rang true to what both of these famous people must have felt.

      You are very wise, Wrench. It is a tough conversation for most to have, and it makes people probably wonder about where your sanity lies? However, I see a totally sane person who, like me, is a deeply observant person with insights that make people nervous for the true authenticity of the truth.

      I’m sad that life is exactly how you explain it to so many here in the world. Maybe a curse of living in a bubble of unique awareness others do not possess. The reality of life becomes so dirty even when the springtime blooms. We see only the ugly truth...

    • wrenchBiscuit profile imageAUTHOR

      Ronnie wrenchBiscuit 

      9 months ago

      Greetings Isabella! Thinking makes my head hurt sometimes. I am sure that you understand. But these are some of the dark places a sustained thought, or muse will lead. But the fallout can often have a cumulative effect that is quite positive and interesting. For example, this is a verse I put together with the four responses I have received as of today: 1/28/2018

      I contemplated suicide at the age of eight (Breelyn)

      But creation healed my soul (Zeron87)

      And now I am untouchable (Isabella Allred)

      And today I curse the gods and say: (Besarian)

      "Quick, come and kill me now!"

      "Otherwise I promise you this ..." (wrenchBiscuit)

      "I will surely kill Time, and tear your playhouse down!"

    • wrenchBiscuit profile imageAUTHOR

      Ronnie wrenchBiscuit 

      9 months ago

      Nice verse Besarian! I'm sorry I missed your comment, I haven't been here in a while. I like the sentiment, and I have never formed that particular image. It is quite empowering. However, now that you have planted the seed, I recall an event that fits your verse.

      I was watching a nature show about lions mating. Apparently young male lions will often kill the cubs of a female so that she will go into heat. Although it seems quite cruel, and it is, this is done in desperation so that the young male may continue his bloodline.

      There was one female who had three little cubs, perhaps only a few months old , and maybe younger. One of the males chased two of the babies down and killed them as they tried to run. But the last cub rose up on it's little legs, faced the giant, and growled! In that moment the little lion dared the universe to kill him. And of course his brave challenge did not go unanswered. He was dead in a matter of seconds. The pathos is still almost too much to bear.

    • PoeticApparatus profile image

      Marie Allred 

      9 months ago from Missouri City

      You have some serious talent and some awesome insights. I agree with Besarien, "dare the universe to kill you." Live such that you are untouchable because you know the truths about the world you are living in.

      -Blessings,

      Bella

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 

      15 months ago

      Dare the universe to kill you. Don't just act its easy prey.

      Let no voodoo curse defeat you. Send the reaper on his way.

      Make a bullet curve to hit you. Have the sky rain missiles down.

      Then when paradise accepts you, haunt the bullies in your town.

    • wrenchBiscuit profile imageAUTHOR

      Ronnie wrenchBiscuit 

      15 months ago

      Thank you Zeron87, for listening and for the invite. I agree with your sentiment concerning the positive effect of the creative force. But years ago I did not understand the power as I do now.

      I met a young woman who was near my age while performing at a restaurant/bar in a small town north of Syracuse N.Y.. She happened to be a songwriter. We had a brief relationship and I marveled at how well crafted her verses were. On one occasion I remarked that she should try to sell her songs, but her response puzzled me.

      Until that time, being a much younger man than I am today, I had always considered the money making potential of the songs I wrote. That's not to say that I am a materialistic person, but the potential for success did cross my mind, and I had every intention of sharing my songs with the world.

      However, she informed me that she had no intention of sharing her music! And at that time this was a very foreign concept. It wasn't until several years later that I realized the epiphany of the seed she had planted. And today I understand perfectly what she meant. I understand that the journey is the most important part. It's the doing. It is the act of creation that attempts to mimic the greater force that set our feet upon this Earth which leaves us so inspired. And the doing can be cathartic as well. Marketing and selling music is very important, and it can put food on a man's table and women at his feet, but it serves a higher purpose as well. And I believe the creative ability that we develop and nurture in this life carries through to the next.

    • wrenchBiscuit profile imageAUTHOR

      Ronnie wrenchBiscuit 

      15 months ago

      Thank you Breelyn. You have quite a history with suicide. On one hand I regret the pain your family members have endured. But on the other hand I envy your great grandmother. She had the strength that I apparently do not possess.

      Today I understand that my continued existence is an act of cowardice. But only a sane person could arrive at such a conclusion. Many would suggest that I suffer from depression, but I strongly disagree. I simply suffer from the truth! In 50 years, I trust that many who participate here will be dead. No matter what they do they cannot stop it. But what fascinates me the most is that I fear suicide, but not death. And that is a great mystery to me. One might reason that if I feared one, then I should also fear the other.

    • Zeron87 profile image

      Zeron87 

      15 months ago

      This really spoke to me, man. Very dark, yet powerful. Reminds me of Evanescence or Red. If you ever need to talk man, message me. Keep on creating. From my personal experience, when all humanity has betrayed me, nothing heals my soul more than creation. When one creates, one exists, and leaves their mark on life.

    • Breelyn Sirk profile image

      Breelyn 

      15 months ago

      This is so powerful. My parents were always very open with me about their lives. My great grandmother committed suicide. My grandmother (her daughter, my moms mom) attempted suicide many times. I first contemplated it at the age of 8. Suicide is not fashionable, at least it shouldn't be. Suicide leads only to hurting the ones you love

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