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I am squeezing out that last drop of toothpaste

Updated on November 9, 2010

I know I Can Get Just A Little More

Why waste when you have toothpaste for twenty

All you have to do is squeeze

It may look simple but when you get one more drop

When others stop

You know your good

You should be honored and admired

As crazy as it seems

It is kind of an obsession to drive my mind insane

I can't throw away all that toothpaste

I was brought up never to waste

You paid for it didn't you?

You used it and got your moneys worth

So you thought

Phooey on you

If you don't try

You simply squeeze the living guts out

You can lay it down flat and press

You can hold it in the air or against your chest

You can roll it slow and squeeze the daylights out

But the real secret is

Don't stop until it pops

Because as soon as you rest it disappears right back where it came

Into the little hole with one way in and one way out

You can try it and you can call it crazy

But my tubes of toothpaste are really empty

And nobody can call me lazy

These are the days before the silly pumps

Men were men and squeezed the end

Woman were smarter and watched and waited

Then they would say can I have a little toothpaste please

You could just say there is no more left in this tube dear

But instead you said

I will give it one more try

She knew what kind of man she married

One physicotic toothpaste crazed man with a strange look in his eyes

That feels like the hulk for ten seconds when his eyes turn red and start to bulge

Then returns back to normal after he turns blue

You have made an art form out of squeezing a tube of toothpaste

And I Am Damn Proud Of You !

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    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Jonathan I will check it out.Thanks for reading and enjoying.Have a great day.

    • profile image

      Jonathan 

      7 years ago

      Hey I linked your awesome poem!

      But you don't need to try so hard ... check out this easy trick to getting all the paste out:

      http://lanseybrothers.blogspot.com/2011/01/trick-t...

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Joy 56 We sure are.If you were a toothpaste company you wouldn't just say it's toothpaste.It would be $$$$.

    • Joy56 profile image

      Joy56 

      7 years ago

      what??????? Are we really discussing toothpaste here.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Micky Dee I usually throw the tube away when I can count 4 seconds and nothing comes out.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      7 years ago

      Thank you for squeezing!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Poetvix I couldn't be happier.I got a brand new tube of toothpaste.(lol)May you share that smile all day where ever you go.Thanks.

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 

      7 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      Funny and frugal! Love it and my cheeks are hurting from the smiling.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Nell Rose I have had my toothpaste last for weeks longer than most would.I am so happy you can understand.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Ha Ha still can't stop laughing!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      I thought this was the computer age where people tell me how and what happens to them too.I want to hear it.Like when your almost done brushing and that last drop of toothpaste some how some way ends up on your shirt and you have to go change.Because it just won't come off even with a little soap and water.If it will not come off my shirt then whats really in it?

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 

      7 years ago from Great Britain

      This will have me laughing for days. I´m just like you with toothepaste and I hate waste. Hee Hee.... Thank you.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Joy56 I have had to many years of toothpaste training.You can try but I might just have a single tear in my eye for when the toothpaste goes by by.Acaetnna I forgot about the careless toothpaste squeezers who press like the tube was all theirs and not caring what is left for the next person.I will just have to smooth things out a bit and we can forget that they have even come.But I admit it.I am guilty of pressing too hard when the tube is new and getting to much toothpaste.So I have to brush a lot longer to use up the 5 ounces of extra paste that will never go back in.Nell Rose Thats why men follow woman around.You go right for the heart.Where guys just fiddle and faddle with a little dibble and dabble.Thanks for teaching me a shortcut.Nobody ever told me after all these years.Right under my nose and I couldn't see it.If it was any closer it would of bit me in the nose.(haha)Why didn't I think of that.I didn't have to you did it for me. Thanks everyone and I like to see everyone agree to disagree.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      Hi, ha ha you forgot one thing! if you want some more out of the end, just cut the top off! lol cheers nell

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 

      7 years ago from Guildford

      I always try to get the last drop out of the tube of toothpaste. People who squeeze it in the middle are a no, no! You can tell a lot about someone's personality by the way they squeeze the toothpaste. Only you could write a successful poem like this Dream On, well done!

    • Joy56 profile image

      Joy56 

      7 years ago

      if ever i get to come over there, i will buy you some toothpaste, and you can throw it away before it is empty, as you did not pay for it.... and don't share it ..... keep it for yourself. Life is like a tube of toothpase, you never know how much it will squeeze out of you....

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Jacobkuttyta Have you done it yourself?I forgot to mention when it cracks and starts to leak.Darlene Sabella I wish I made this one up. It is a true story.I still have to ask do you throw it away and never give it a thought?Wytegarillaz Someone even invented a toothpaste squeezer you put it on the end of the tube and you work it up the tube until you get all the toothpsste out.It works good.I still like the old fashioned way.THANK YOU EVERYONE DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH.You might have to much fun in squeezing and then have to rush.

    • wytegarillaz profile image

      wytegarillaz 

      7 years ago from Australia

      very good lol!!

    • Darlene Sabella profile image

      Darlene Sabella 

      7 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

      Oh my dear friend, you always make me smile, the wonder of it all, the simple life and our everyday thoughts, you are open like a big blue sky, we see the clouds or the sun that shine even the dark clouds that brings uw rain for us to see. Rate this up to beat the band. Love darski

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      Siny J 

      7 years ago from Delhi, India

      Very nice and thought provocative

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