MY HAPPINESS

Lately I have been questioning myself over my own loyalty . I seem to be fighting and fighting for what I have never prepared for;at least not just yet. And there's nothing I can do about it..
.
"you should always come first you know. " I lie to myself..
" Dude.. You are your own happiness "..i lie to myself a little bit more...
..
And things haven't been like this, I was messed up looking for happiness and happiness is now messing up with me... This isn't the me I once thought I was...
..
I'll be thinking of you when we are together, I'll still be thinking of you when you miles away.
I'll be dreaming of you when you in my bed, I'll still be dreaming of you when you not here...
I wake up everyday and roll up just to see if you here with me.
. .. I won't lie though cause I don't think about you when I wake up, I don't think of you before I go to bed either.. I don't even think am am allowing myself to think of anything else but you... Am not thinking no more. Am never eager to see the sunrise before I get to see you smile at me everyday. I don't wish to see the sunset if your heart ain't beating against mine.
....
I have been lost a couple of times but I found my way back, I have gone ahead of myself lots of times only to go back to me like nothing happened, I have had feelings but none can compare to what am feeling right now..
Yes ..am lost at a place where I don't want nobody finding me.. I don't even care whether am lost if you are here... Should I lose you am not sure am ever going to be me again... ...
. You've completely changed me. I love you.