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If I Were A Cantaloupe~ For Stan Fletcher's Contest

Updated on August 19, 2012
We could roll down bowling lanes I'd file her "skin" It's rough the kind we come in
We could roll down bowling lanes I'd file her "skin" It's rough the kind we come in
I could be juice
I could be juice
I can make people smile--as I'm cut into slices, I smile too! ~Everyone's happy!
I can make people smile--as I'm cut into slices, I smile too! ~Everyone's happy!

If I Were A Cantaloupe...

If I were a cantaloupe,

I'd get myself a mate

And together we would fill up

A very large bra

We'd go from store to store

And be like mannequins...

for the G size bra.

But in our private time,

I'd file my girls' skin,

for the kind we come in

is thick and rough, not thin

Then I'd buy her a cute little outfit

Just a mumu not a miniskirt

To wrap around her body

And for me a shirt

We could also be bowling balls

And roll down bowling lanes

We could really make people laugh!

And they'd come again and again!

Or maybe ...I could go solo

I could give away my juice

Though it would be like a noose,

At least someone would get some use-

of me.

I know though, I have much more to offer-than juice

For my body is pulpy and my skin sorta ugly..

I could be a freak in a sideshow

But, no, let's not there go.

Instead, I will stick with my lady in mumu

I call her Allie

And I'm Pallie...

But we can't see

That's why (*sigh*) they call us CANT ELOPE! :(


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    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      All is well my dear epi-man.

      Thank God and Thank YOU~!


      enjoy the evening breeze (hopefully) off lake erie and see you in the morn, or next time.

      Feeling great


    • epigramman profile image


      6 years ago

      ....quite naughty but cute -lol - and after reading this - great minds really do think alike - and I really loved your writing here - I was impressed - and inspired too - sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 12:55am and I sincerely hope all is well with you ....

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Hi Joan! Thankyou so much for stopping by!xoxo

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Very creative and fun

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @chspublish, thanks Lol

      @Random Life, Thankyou~ So glad you enjoyed:)


      thankyou stan,

      you are a funny man,

      so thanks for the chance

      to make me creative a laugh and do a little dance =)

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 

      8 years ago from Nashville, TN

      I'm very impressed! Great job! Clever and funny....Rated up!

    • RandomLife profile image


      8 years ago from Nashville TN

      This was awesome! Very entertaining.

    • chspublish profile image


      8 years ago from Ireland

      Nicely done.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thankyou, I just read susan's, I forgot someone did the canteloupe one. Thankyou! :)

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 

      8 years ago from UK

      It's up there with the best. The life of a cant-elope in a nice juicy slice. And ( sigh) what a punchline... Love it!


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