ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

If I Were A Cantaloupe~ For Stan Fletcher's Contest

Updated on August 19, 2012
We could roll down bowling lanes I'd file her "skin" It's rough the kind we come in
We could roll down bowling lanes I'd file her "skin" It's rough the kind we come in
I could be juice
I could be juice
I can make people smile--as I'm cut into slices, I smile too! ~Everyone's happy!
I can make people smile--as I'm cut into slices, I smile too! ~Everyone's happy!

If I Were A Cantaloupe...

If I were a cantaloupe,

I'd get myself a mate

And together we would fill up

A very large bra

We'd go from store to store

And be like mannequins...

for the G size bra.

But in our private time,

I'd file my girls' skin,

for the kind we come in

is thick and rough, not thin

Then I'd buy her a cute little outfit

Just a mumu not a miniskirt

To wrap around her body

And for me a shirt

We could also be bowling balls

And roll down bowling lanes

We could really make people laugh!

And they'd come again and again!

Or maybe ...I could go solo

I could give away my juice

Though it would be like a noose,

At least someone would get some use-

of me.

I know though, I have much more to offer-than juice

For my body is pulpy and my skin sorta ugly..

I could be a freak in a sideshow

But, no, let's not there go.

Instead, I will stick with my lady in mumu

I call her Allie

And I'm Pallie...

But we can't elope...you see

That's why (*sigh*) they call us CANT ELOPE! :(

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      6 years ago

      All is well my dear epi-man.

      Thank God and Thank YOU~!

      ;-)

      enjoy the evening breeze (hopefully) off lake erie and see you in the morn, or next time.

      Feeling great

      sgfr

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      6 years ago

      ....quite naughty but cute -lol - and after reading this - great minds really do think alike - and I really loved your writing here - I was impressed - and inspired too - sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 12:55am and I sincerely hope all is well with you ....

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      7 years ago

      Hi Joan! Thankyou so much for stopping by!xoxo

    • profile image

      Joan 

      7 years ago

      Very creative and fun

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      7 years ago

      @chspublish, thanks Lol

      @Random Life, Thankyou~ So glad you enjoyed:)

      @Stan

      thankyou stan,

      you are a funny man,

      so thanks for the chance

      to make me creative a laugh and do a little dance =)

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 

      7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      I'm very impressed! Great job! Clever and funny....Rated up!

    • RandomLife profile image

      RandomLife 

      7 years ago from Nashville TN

      This was awesome! Very entertaining.

    • chspublish profile image

      chspublish 

      7 years ago from Ireland

      Nicely done.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      7 years ago

      Thankyou, I just read susan's, I forgot someone did the canteloupe one. Thankyou! :)

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 

      7 years ago from UK

      It's up there with the best. The life of a cant-elope in a nice juicy slice. And ( sigh) what a punchline... Love it!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)