I'm Still Here, Still Breathing

 It's not like I became this highly unmotivated piece of junk. I've been here, almost daily. In fact I have written about 40 Hubs on this site this past 2 months in my absence. Many of them though have gone unpublished.

I'll get halfway through and think... ah, that's to personal... 'save unpublished'.... or, ah, that's too boring... 'save unpublished'.

How can I write if everything is too personal or too boring anyway? So I have a collection of some really great unfinished, unpublished Hubs... unfortunately they are either a. too personal or b. too boring, and of course we have category c, which is mind numbing ramblings that even I couldn't comprehend after I finished them. So they too are unpublished works.

I've thought about just copying and pasting the whole shitty lot of them into one mash. A big enchilada of 'stuff'. Only a great philosopher, or rambler would grasp it. Haha.

So what have I been doing with my time since? Hm, a whole lot of nothing really. The hamsters routine is all relatively unchanged, as expected. Actually I am lying, a lot has happened these past few months, but get this... today I am a lazy unmotivated piece, so you'll have to just hope that I remember to write all that crap down when I feel like it. Yerp.

I probably won't remember, so don't hold your breath.

Anyways... before I manage to talk myself into a slumber I have been thinking a lot about ....

God am I so pathetic I can't even think of what I have been thinking about?

Yes, yes it has gotten that bad hasn't it?

Whatever.

Anyway some of you probably think I'm on drugs or something. I could only wish. I'm in a haze of a daze and I'm not even high.

This Hub seems to be falling into category c. You see my dilemma? I see it. I start off with a thought process, a pattern, and it ends up becoming filthy incoherent ramblings of an absent mind.

Judge away.

Okay let me try this again.

Today I am feeling under the weather. I have been sick for approximately 2 weeks now, which is like a MellaRecord. I have never been sick for a period longer than a week, and even a week is a long time for me. I think however I managed to get sick after already being sick. I guess it could happen that way. To me it could anyway.

I've been popping these stupid Dayquil and Nightquil pills for 2 weeks now, with no results. They put me in a dreamy state, but they fail to adress the promises that they claim on the box. I should remember to review these piece of garbage meds one of these days. However those of you who stumbled upon this can spare themselves the boredom of a long drawn out Dayquil review. They don't work. M-kay.

So here I am, sick, in a stoned dream like state that does not even feel good. I should be working, should be doing things, should be active, but I blame my lack of ... errr.. whatever the word is... I blame it on the Dayquil's.

In less than an hour I get to go home, do a cannon ball in my bed and fall fast asleep.

I could only wish, but the fantasy looked so scrumptious in my head. Looked so scrumptious in my bed.

Instead I get to go out and make my weekly errand rounds. Target, then a wholesale club they call Sam's Club...where the lines are so goddamn long you'd think everyday in that place was Christmas Eve. They say the economy is doing bad, but walking into this cesspool would tell you otherwise. I blame it on the fact that they just started accepting food stamps.

That's right. I get to share a spot in line with all the welfare trash. Yeah hate me for being a bitch, but it's a fact. I'm not saying all welfare is bad, just 99% of it.

I think Sams Club should set up a fucking VIP lane for those of us who actually pay with money we worked for, we sweat for, we earned on our own. Let the hemorrhoids hump one another to the front of the line.

By the time I get to the cashier to pay, I'll likely be pregnant, with 4 kids hanging off my titties and on welfare too.

Maybe that crude thought process is too personal to share. Oh well. Suck on it, and lick it till it makes you mad. Only those on welfare will get pissed anyway, and really... I could honestly give a rat-tat-tat's ass.

I'm trashier than you all anyway. So who cares? You were just smart enough to use this shit system. Smarter than me apparently.

I wish I had a magic food card. I chew on finger nails.

Anyway, after waiting in line for an eternity, I will go home, watch TV, take a Nightquil, sleep, wake up. Pee... repeat, floss, repeat, shower, repeat.

Maybe if I hit publish I can do better next time.