I'm not a Ragdoll

Twenty five years...it's been this way or that...the counterbalance of diffused purposes... I sincerely try,
The greatest times were never my greatest...I gave and gave and most certainly never received,
Truth be told...I love with all my heart...but every heart that has been with me held reservations,
Contemplations always held the variables for disaster in others...why cant they realize...I was once a rag doll.

Until today...I have given my heart and soul...but pull back and watch...the chase might be delayed,
It's too controversial...too many maybes and what if's...the world doesn't understand the creation of rationalities,
Waiting and waiting I do...wish for an answer that will never come...that decision can't be made,
I was a rag doll...a reformed lover that wished for only the best relationship.

Why doesn't the world want a nice guy finish first model...it has to be the other way around they say,
If the world needs that...then I no longer wish to break the mold...Simply give me another mold and throw the old away,
The new mold will be shaped into a sight worth the function of greatness...worth the controversy,
It will be a mold worth that attachment...but if one doesn't want it...perfection through practice will find another.

I am not a rag doll anymore...the once tore up soul...it's thrown away for slick and lean,
Placing others first over myself for they and them and those to stomp on...I wont lose my cause,
It pains to see the differences that others make...the allegations of ones true self attacked and mutilated,
This won't happen again...realize or understand my needs and wants...for I love but must be loved...I'm not a rag doll anymore.