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In The Event Of A Zombie Invasion Follow These Useful Tips

Updated on September 30, 2009

Warning Zombies!

I hope they put him back together ok...tut tut zombies eh!?
I hope they put him back together ok...tut tut zombies eh!?

Everyone Should Have A Plan When Zombies Attack

Being prepared for a zombie attack or invasion is very important in this day and age, because you never know when it might happen, the key here is to be alert to common occurrences, like long moans that go huuuuuuuuughhh and mmuuugghhhhhhh, if you hear these sounds coming from a bedroom then two zombies are getting their freak on and should be left alone.

Now a plan of action should you need to survive when zombies attack.

First you will need an indestructible titanium space suit, so you can wear it to prevent you from being bitten by these smelly arse bandits, now I'm not sure how you can make one of these, so you might want to make it out of tin foil instead and write titanium metal on it, so that the zombies know that they cannot bite through it, zombies are so stupid, they'll believe anything!

Never leave your car keys in the ignition as this invites zombies to go car rallying around town and nothing annoys more when some dead dude steals your wheels, instead what you could do is leave a trail of your mother in laws intestines(generally speaking...my mother in law is ace...just wanted to clear that up!) leading into the car and then when a couple of zombie homeys come to jack your car, you can blow it up with a bazooka!

Leave all of the doors and windows unlocked and when the zombies come calling, you can confuse them with some queen music and just have a party, it would be best if you asked them to bring a bottle, because every bit helps and sausages on sticks are a great hit at parties, you could play, pin the arm back on the zombie or something that would make them feel welcome.

Run to the nearest shopping mall and eat and drink as much as you can before the zombies take over, get some new clothes and flaunt them in the face of these zombie scumbags, that'll show them that you are the best dressed sunny bopper in the whole of town.

You could of course pretend to be a zombie, put some tomato ketchup on your face and walk around like a zombie, who knows you may make some new friends.

Zombies could take over the world so we need to be ready.

What's Your Zombie Action Plan?

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    • waynet profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Tully 

      9 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Cheers now Rebecca!

      Yep my graphic novels coming together quite nicely now, since I've spent nearly 6 years trying to create it!!!!

    • rebeccahappy profile image

      rebeccahappy 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Looks like ou have done the research weell. I will passon the info. Congrats on the new novel!

    • waynet profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Tully 

      9 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      There's only one way to find out, I'll have to try it when zombies attack!!

    • Sarah Horth profile image

      Sarah Horth 

      9 years ago from Seattle

      LMAO! I wonder if the tin foil will do that weird thing to the zombies teeth if they have metal fillings?

    • waynet profile imageAUTHOR

      Wayne Tully 

      9 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      Thanks Keny, Robert and LIG!

      Just writing non serious stuff for a bit until I get my head together after a busy week drawing and writing the rough cut of my first graphic novel...oh yes!

    • profile image

      lyricsingray 

      9 years ago

      I agree, loved this gore! Thanks waynet!

    • robertsloan2 profile image

      robertsloan2 

      9 years ago from San Francisco, CA

      ROFLMAO... the restless dead getting bored and going to the mall... love it.

    • Keny Luger profile image

      Keny Luger 

      9 years ago

      Worse case scenario: you get bitten and turn into one...make sure you're dressed like Michael Jackson in Thriller. You'll be the flyest zombie MF in the pack.

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