ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Inane Episode 13

Updated on August 20, 2011

The bearded octogenarian race towards enigmatic calamity started with a wallowing thud that evaded perception by even the least inquisitive of participants. The surreptitiously deranged score keeper, wearing orange undergarments made of a combination of hemp, silk and tissue paper, narrowly widened the shallow depth by the most expansive minimalism. This either enabled or disabled no one in particular.

At twilight, when the cloud cover left four year old kitchen appliances in the back yard, a fragrant satchel listlessly rested. To have done otherwise would have been outside the possible outcomes of a battle between a carpenter ant and a carpenter's aunt. This was relished by the aqueous solution that did nothing to solve the problem of overpopulation as combined with the incorrectly matching left shoe. The other way to look about such things, being a lugubriously hatched visionary, would be to take acrylic paint out of a tube.

When the curtains closed, it became harder to see.

Ken's sister Sparkle, while whole and fraudulent, did not keep from preventing something from not happening. This was done as an intentional accident. I should know.

Sparkle then, while drinking her morning decaf in the sunlight facing just slightly north of east, paused. After the pause was over, she paused again in a way that an outside observer would not have noticed that there were two pauses instead of one longer one observed. This fallacy, while not particularly important, denied Sparkle the opportunity to keep from not pausing undetected.

The left brain, not knowing how to measure the square root of prime numbers, also liked to dance until dawn immediately after the summer solstice. Other solstices, however, did not get as much attention. The right brain, as usual, slept. The wrong brain, as usual, was wrong.

Selling a craft that eludes comprehension is much like spelling words with an alphabet of your own creation and expecting a hip-hop dance teacher to bake a chocolate meringue pie made of parsley and felt. Adding adjectives after the fact, much like post editing a tomato into an ivory tower, is never the best thing to do on a Tuesday mid-morning. Likening the variety of adverbs to the destructured seismic graph used by Sparkle to brush her teeth, is not the kind of thing done by ordinary people.

Keeping on the same theme, let us make verbs. There, done.

Finally, we come to nouns. A noun, once rendered, would create the unfathomable, shortening the ends from one side to the other next time. There may have been an extra word added in the previous sentence, if not

Again, would an inane hub be sufficiently inane without an incomplete sentence? Or how about lacking a question? Should this whole paragraph be made up of questions? Should this next sentence be a question? Will this paragraph ever end? Do kites in the shape of a pickup truck, when flown in a large bowl of peanut butter, elicit the same yelps and high pitched squeals as a pulled dandelion near the southern side of the house?

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)