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Inane Episode 23

Updated on September 25, 2011

Paradise, unlike her second cousin twice removed Twirled Telephone Cord, remained a constant as like Helium in a balloon made of pristine yet disheveled lint. Also known as TTC, the deniably repeatable cord as evidenced by the left handedness of the parenthetical parachute protruded flatulently as would no other. This would keep the prevention of nothing from happening.

If TTC was to create a new colour that not once had ever been witnessed by people who live in Adelaide, there would be a revolt by Revlon workers in the face of Avon sales people. The revolt would be made up of sauce pans and generic branded laundry detergent mixed with 1970's R&B music. The authorities, not knowing what to make of this enigmatically vapid revolt, returned to their ironing.

There are patterns in the sky, they remind people of things for which they once had a memory. Salt water as a pregnant porcupine, spun the disco songs like no other Arbour Day celebrant. I should know.

The dynasty theme song played loudly as a counting machine decided to skip all numbers evenly divided by fourty-seven, on a whim. When the song was over, the counting machine did nothing different. Other theme songs, as they played, became ever more popular to psychics whose gifts were questioned only by evolutionary physicists. Deranged musicians whose works became popular to metaphysical pro-choice orphans, operated almost exlcusively on radio stations in the lower third of the FM band. Other bands, lesser known, fizzled out as they never made the top 87 list.

Some male blue point Siamese cats purr as often as they do to keep pedestrians from crossing on the flashing blue light. Other models of the Siamese, being compared to symbient Audi manufacturing processes, cause visionaries to break their curfew. To celebrate the dance floor being lit on fire, only in a figurative sense, would send Christmas trees crashing to the wall, leaning like a drunken lumber management team. Can you tell what she might be listening to on the radio by the number of Keltic references absent?

Sending a letter in the mail, at midnight, creates a

Number 31, like all of the other prime numbers, learns a lesson about the real and imaginary numbers as described by a surly mathematician who has a hidden octagon collection. The previous paragraph, made up solely of an incomplete sentence, serves the purpose of reminding you that no inane hub can be posted without an incomplete sentence. Check the other inane episodes and you will either see that this is true, or find a sore spot near your left temple from excessive rubbing.

If you have ever written a sentence, you should know that there are certain elements that, without their inclusion, would leave the sentence bereft of meaning, structure or tautness. This list of sentence elements is unlike any grocery item list in the sense that cans of tomato juice are not on sale this week.


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    • Phil Plasma profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Plasma 

      7 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      'interesting' is not usually a word that would be used to describe any of my Inane episodes. Thanks - it is a first.

    • klanguedoc profile image

      Kevin Languedoc 

      7 years ago from Canada



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