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Inane Episode 37

Updated on January 27, 2012

Catching fly paper by the throat in a windowless pane pains the beguiled entropicly disinclined vapours from masticating graciously. This in turn relics the far flung haphazardness among distributed perturbations. Zealots all named Benedict would make two guesses before showing any visible interest in the least offensive topics. By cutting corners, corners become less angular. Less angular corners make it harder to cross the street. I should know.

If the first paragraph of this hub reminds you of blinking carefully at your blue point Siamese cat, let it be known that Tuesday nights are about the worst time to paint your ceiling a colour that is reminiscent of glue stick flavoured cheesecake. There is a dance that is known as the Postage Couch that few people who have very poor flexibility can keep from bargaining. It involves witnessing an event that is common place while pondering about the length a spider's web can stretch before replacing a broken punctuation mark with a stiletto heel.

Wisdom is a dish best served without wanting to know the difference between selling fortune cookies with misspelt fortunes and patronizing a ghoulish fairy tale. Particularly the particles participated precipitously. If someone was to revamp their currently favoured item, would it have to have been vamped to begin with? I vamp you, you vamp me, we're a happy monochromatic pie chart.

As a fourth paragraph, this one. Indeed, if the previous sentence could please identify itself! One man bands use Band-Aid brand band-aids. Two man bands are rarely used as an example in smoking cessation programs. One or three women may take offense at the usage of the word 'man' in One or Two Man bands. Not being a woman, I'd have a hard time being a woman.

I suppose it would be about the time of hub that I would include an example of a simile made of items such as lint, cataclysmic energy, a soliloquy or an aluminum pie plate that has a few cuts through the bottom. If you are still waiting for just such an example, let it be known that waiting can often be used as a flag pole to raise Mesopotamian under garments for all of the seven year olds to supply giggles. This, in turn, would turn. Apoplectic inspiration has supplied fourteen (give or take two million four hundred and sixty seven thousand nine hundred and twenty one) kitchen designers with what they need to pick the correct toilet paper. Using incorrect toilet paper can reak like the malevolent scurry of a sleeping qualm.

If there is an itch behind your left ear, just above the center point of it that at this very moment is irritating you to such a degree that even if you think of not scratching it you do it semi-consciously, well, I have news for you: Texas Barbie search results are not for the people who are born in the month between Halloween and Ash Wednesday. A fund raising kit that uses envelopes as an enema is not likely to raise more money as compared to selling photos of inconsequential genericalness.


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    • Phil Plasma profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Plasma 

      6 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      Whois... don't worry about it, sh*t happens all the time. As for why people don't use the word 'inane' more often, I think it has to do with the number of Blue moons there aren't in 2012.

    • whoisbid profile image


      6 years ago

      Hey Phil, I accidentally voted your hub down. Do you think that is inane? BTW.. I saw someone use the word "INANE" on a blog the other day. I wonder why more people don't use it. I will vote your other Hubs up to balance my mistake. Sorry for this.

    • Phil Plasma profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Plasma 

      6 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      Thanks, Eb, you are very generous.

    • Ebower profile image

      Erin Bower 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      I love this type of writing! I need to catch up on some more of your inane episodes. I voted this up and awesome! :)


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