ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Inane Episode 43

Updated on March 31, 2012

The legal sized pad of scotch tape melted the slice of cream cheese much like an enormously incongruous plaid pattern evokes memories of indecisive events. That smelting a smelly sweltering cellar releases nitrous monosulfioreoxides is not unlike a garrison of dainties from prancing about in the creamy richness of a pancake. Unexpected expectations arrived early, passing through on their way towards antiquated elevator repair shops to meet with scotch tape pads of legal size.

Ripping the month of February into thirty-one pieces would divide the 31st of February into a plagiarism of paradoxical symbolism. Ripping the days of the week into quarters would cause nickels and dimes to be jealous; they don't get enough attention or Atlantic salmon flavoured ice cream. Ripping barbarically while skinny-dipping in search for broken pajamas would be a terrible suggestion as an Olympic event. Ripping this paragraph out of this hub is not a bad idea.

Rinse, repeat.

Behaving like a seven year old child is the perfect way to spend your seventh year. I should know. If you can imagine being seven years old, especially considering your present age. There it is! The infamous incomplete sentence that serves the purpose of drawing your attention to the ceiling panels above your head, prompting you to note that the one almost furthest from view is slightly askew. An askew ceiling panel repair team was put on notice; they did not like being thumb-tacked to the radiator, however, small doses of foreign beer or a three point shot that just missed could both or neither be used as a substitute for substitution. Her reaction to the unlikelihood of this collection of parenthetical events caused a swelling, forcing the prosthesis to misbehave by mere fractions of a whole number.

Behaving like a thirty-seven year old adult is the perfect way to spend your thirty-seventh year. I should know. If you can imagine being, or having been, or going to be, or refusing to be, or accepting the possibility of being, or denying the possibility of being, or rejecting the idea of being thirty-seven years old, you are not alone. Thirty-seven as an age is totally different from that other age that is either more or less than the exact colour of my shoe laces.

Have you been or will you ever be seven or thirty-seven years old?

See results

If the poll that precedes this paragraph offers an option that has little to do with the question being asked, blame the geography. T-shirt wearing people wear, you guessed it: socks. Sock wearing people, on the other hand, do not wear socks on their hands. Sock-handed people who wear t-shirts, well, lets just say that we have very little to say about such people. We are all better off by knowing as little as possible about their tendency to carry translucent envelopes within which can easily be viewed blueprints of savoury elliptical training machines.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Phil Plasma profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Plasma 

      6 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      Thanks Matt, there simply is not enough inanity in the world.

    • mattdigiulio profile image


      6 years ago

      Haha it's so inane it's steal-able! Jeez, people blow my mind. Great inane-ness, Mr. Phil. Voting up

    • Phil Plasma profile imageAUTHOR

      Phil Plasma 

      6 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      It has been copied, thanks for letting me know! Who would have thought an inane hub would be desirable enough to copy?

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 

      6 years ago from Texas

      Hey Phil! I think this has been copied. Check out:


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)