Time was passing around her quickly. The cars underneath her were zipping to their next destination. Adrianna wondered where they were off to in such a hurry.
Were they going to work or coming back from work? Were they going to see their family's at home? She wondered more though what they were feeling. Were they aggravated by another driver or someone at work? Were they reluctant to go home or excited?
Adrianna watched shifting her backpack on her shoulder. Her watch read 3:45. Her mother would not be home until 5:00 from work. Her father would be home an hour later than her mother. He would come in putting his stuff down on the counter for her mother to move it into the precise spot. Her father does not even notice the routine, but he will know where his stuff will be in the morning. Her sister would be sitting on the couch "watching" television. It is more channel surfing every time a commercial came on resulting in her father taking the remote and changing the channel.
At 6:30 precisely, dinner would be ready. Mother would set the table and the family would join talking about their day. Except Adrianna.
Adrianna learned not to speak her mind. They do not want to know what she is thinking. They do not want to know how the kids at school keep a distance from her. They don't bully her, but they keep a distance creating loneliness. She has many reasons for their distance, but she is not allowed to think those things. The thoughts are ridiculous.
Mother would ask her about her day. Adrianna would push her food around saying, "Fine."
She has given up trying to talk about the pain that lives inside her heart and the constant darkness swirling in her head. She has given up talking about the phantom vampires sucking her energy and hope away.
She wanted help. She cried out through social media, but the internet is a lot worse. Those vampires use the computer to talk to her making her thoughts permanent.
Now, she stands watching the cars wondering where the voices were now. They are never this quiet.
A homeless man walked by her looking at her with a funny look. She kept her eyes away from him. She was luckier than him, but that did not stop the pain.
He passed along quietly looking at her with a judging look. She turned looking back at the cars. Once he was gone, the voices were back and louder than ever.
She put one foot over the bridge railing and then another. The only thing that did not fall were her tears, for there were none.
There is a lot of darkness in the world right now and many people praying. I wanted to write a story that did not end with an angel saving the person.
Kaleidoscope Mind: Let's start with the title. I always make up a rough draft version of the name. The rough draft name was Invisible Hand, but once I had Cassiel not help Adrianna, it became Bridge to.... I could not think of where because I don't know if Adrianna died or fell backwards. Really though, the story is a look into her mind and her viewpoint. It constantly shifts from the cars, to her family, to her struggle, to the homeless man, to where she ended up. It was shifting as fast as a kaleidoscope constantly changing shape and color. I was going to have Kaleidoscope Bridge, but it was not the bridge that changed. Hence, Kaleidoscope Mind.
Adrianna: The name means "dark." This character lives in the dark in many ways. She lives in the darkness of her depression and loneliness. She lives in the dark of her ignorance and youth. She lives in the dark of high school.
Cassiel: The archangel is the homeless man. He is known for judgement and rules. He is there at the darkest hour and helps carry the burden, but he does not interfere.
This story was one of my more vague stories because I want this to be up to interpretation. I also wanted this to be in tribute to all those fighting depression and loneliness.
What was Cassiel's purpose in being present at Adrianna's struggle?
Research into Cassiel
- Get to Know the 12 Archangels - Archangel Cassiel - Beliefnet
Meaning of Name: Speed of God Message to the Contemporary World: The rules have not changed. “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (Matthew 7:2) Patron Angel Of: The o
- Cassiel - Wikipedia
Suicide Prevention and Awareness
The events depicted in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.