ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Street Gangs in Iowa

Updated on December 28, 2011

I am sure that there are gangs in Iowa.  Somewhere.  Maybe even here.  But being an Iowan transplant, I have yet to see the evidence of gang violence, or even gangs, that I have seen elsewhere.

So it got me thinking - if there are gangs here, what are they like?  Well, it is Iowa.  

The Corns

The leading gang - the roughest, toughest, indestructible gang is the Corns.  You will know them by their ears.  They tend to have large ears here. 

Their colors  Yellow and white.  Whenever you see an Iowan in yellow and white, just know they are a Corn.  Sometimes looks can be deceiving, though, because if they are wearing silk of any color, they are still a Corn.

Weapon of Choice  Worms and Japanese Beetles.  Just look out, because those Corns will freak you out with their use of creepy insects!

Secret signs They will pepper their dialog with lots of "aw, shucks!" and will have butter on their giant ears.  They also may be pierced with corn-cob holders.

This is a dead giveaway as to which gang someone belongs to in Iowa.
This is a dead giveaway as to which gang someone belongs to in Iowa.

The Soybeans

The Soybeans are a pretty big gang here as well. They are very health-conscious, and will tell you how bad high-fructose corn syrup is for you (yes, they started that whole thing!)

Their colors Green and brown. Keep on the lookout for the Soybeans!

Weapon of Choice Tofu. They will under-cook it and make you eat it. And sometimes if they are retaliating against a Corn, they will use Caterpillars.

Secret Signs Usually a pale and bland bunch. They call the immature ones "Edamame" which is a dead giveaway.

Gang Turf

The oddest thing about our Iowan gangs is that they rotate turf annually. If you see a Corn on one street corner and a Soybean on another, chances are next year, they will have switched spots.

They mostly hang out in the rural areas, though you can still find them scattered in small numbers around the cities. You can also find them at HyVee and Fareway.

Corns and Soybeans alike are likely to drive John Deere tractors and use their heavy equipment. And yes, they will drive them on the highway, so if you are traveling through Iowa, do NOT blink your lights at them!  

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • cheapsk8chick profile imageAUTHOR

      cheapsk8chick 

      7 years ago

      iontach, that surprises me! I really thought you would be a soybean with those healthy hubs you write!

    • Iontach profile image

      Iontach 

      7 years ago

      Lol! I'm so gullible I thought you were being serious about these food related gangs. Better watch out for those corn ones, i say they rule the place. :P

    • cheapsk8chick profile imageAUTHOR

      cheapsk8chick 

      7 years ago

      You inspired me on this one, wannab!

    • wannabwestern profile image

      Carolyn Augustine 

      7 years ago from Iowa

      Loooove it! You go girl!

    • cheapsk8chick profile imageAUTHOR

      cheapsk8chick 

      7 years ago

      mulberry1, I think I'll call them "succotash" too!

    • mulberry1 profile image

      Christine Mulberry 

      7 years ago

      Shew! I was hoping it was a joke. I live in Indiana, which bears a striking resemblance to Iowa, I'm sure. We have the corn and soybean gangs too. (I just lump them all together and call them succotash, but that's not something I would say to their face.)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)