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Why We Should Explore Why We Write (featuring It's Me - A Flash Fiction)

Updated on June 7, 2017

The Rut

What the rut looked like
What the rut looked like

Out of the rut...

I wrote It's Me some years ago when I was a first year undergraduate. After writing poetry and short prose all through my teen years I lost my way, falling into the trap of going to work then coming home and watching television. I stopped writing for nearly a decade, although I never stopped reading.

I found myself in a rut. A deep rut where I was doing work that was slowly destroying my soul (most terrifyingly working for HMRC, the UK tax office). There is nothing wrong in working in admin, or customer service, or other manifestations of drudgery, they pay the bills. But they also take away from the creative edge (a view recently shared by Cormac Mccarthy).

Eventually, after nearly a decade of this, I started writing again. Yet the words were not flowing as easily as they had when I was younger. The creative muscles had atrophied like any other muscles. So when I saw that my local University offered a course in Creative Writing (well, half a course, but that was a start) I signed up straight away - writing was becoming something of an obsession.

I went into the course feeling that I just needed a nudge. After all, I had been published as a teenager and now I was older, wiser; I had more experience and I had read so much more. So really I saw the course the same way that an athelete who has suffered a long injury sees a return to the gym. It way a vital part of my path to rehabilitation.

If I excercised the creative muscles they would come back stronger, right?

The Process

The Process of Writing
The Process of Writing

Why Do You Write

Why Do You Write

See results

"Income from writing: nil; income from teaching writing $32,000"

The Learning Curve.

My very first lecture was not in creative writing, it was about globalisation (you may tell from my other hubs that I also have an interest in politics), but soon I got to join the rest of my creative writing fellows. It was a mixed bunch of teenage idealists and jaded mature students who, like me, were fed up of their jobs or other personal circumstances.

From the very start I realised two things. First, my love of reading and the wide range of subject matter had put me in good stead. The best way to learn about writing is to read. Read everything. Read different genres. Read the classics. Read good books. You should even read bad books - not often, because reading bad books is damaging for the soul, but nothing teaches you what not NOT to do quite like reading badly written literature.

The second was that there is much MORE to writing than I had believed. You cannot just have a good idea and run with it (and if only 1% of the ideas I have crammed into my ideas notebook are good I still have dozens that are worth developing). You may get some good stuff but you will almost certainly get more bunkum. What I found more galling is even once you understand all of the techniques (and Billybuc here on Hub Pages is a good guy to visit to learn more about the techniques- I myself may write some hub on that subject in the future) you will still probably write more bunkum than good stuff unless (for the committed writer this becomes until) you learn to love editing.

The other blow, which put a good number of my fellow students off and which I believe is why many have passed the course but given up writing, is that writing is not a good way to make a living. Writers, most professional writers that is, you cannot count Stephen King, J.K.Rowling and Neil Gaiman with the rest of us mortals, make significantly below £10,000 (around $16,000) per year. Not enough to live on in an age where the average wage is nearer three times that. And for writers starting out with no passive income to boost their income the figures are much more depressing. One of the senior lecturers on my course had a delightfully depressing picture on the wall saying "income from writing: nil; income from teaching writing $32,000 (this wasn't a wage slip, but a rather poignant way of telling us not to write for money).

So it was really important to explore the reasons why I wanted to write.

This short story is a little bit of that.

It is not quite the story I would write today but I did not want to change it because I think it is important to remember the writer I was.

A Writer's Brain

It's Me

Each of the sitting figures struggled to control shuffling feet and tapping fingers while waiting for resident expert Miss JP Miller to start the workshop. She stood at the front of the theatre and even stretching over the lectern she demanded attention.

“What does it mean to write?” She asked and saw keenness replaced by bemusement as it stampeded through the students. Only one was unaffected, a dishevelled youth who radiated exaggerated disinterest.

At the front of the class a hand raises like a periscope in enemy waters. JP Miller looked at the face the hand belonged to and nodded.

“Miss, is it using language to convey meaning to...”

“It can be, but perhaps the question should have been why do you write?”

Half raised hands were withdrawn, and open mouths were shut. The teacher walked down amongst the tables and tapped one poor student on his shoulder.

“So why do you write?” She asked again. “Anybody?”

Miss JP Miller mingled amongst the students, each step seemingly randomly taking her around the class until she stopped behind a couple on the back row. JP hadn’t managed to interrupt their close conversation and the rest of the class laughed as she bought her hands down firmly on their shoulders causing heads to clash.

“So why do you write?” JP said to the class. “I’m going to ask everybody in turn and I expect you all to have an answer ready, starting with you two.”

“To explore language” said one as the other said “To express ideas”.

“To explore language and express ideas,” repeated JP Miller “ more”

Each member of the class shouted, muttered or stuttered aloud their own ideas of what it meant to be a writer. Any student that repeated a previous answer found their words rejected and was forced to think of something that had not been said. The ideas spread included writing to educate, which nearly got a frown, writing because you like it, which failed to register a reaction, and writing to explore yourself, which very nearly got a semi-smile.

The brainstorm had nearly gotten around the class and despite her verbal protestations that the class were excellent and original she didn’t seem inspired. She looked tired and when they got around to the last member of the group Miss JP Miller couldn’t contain a sigh as she looked at the dishevelled youth who was trying with extreme care to appear disinterested and contemptuous of all other students. Before he said anything she spoke to the class.

“All good answers, and every one of them is correct, there are no wrong...”

“Writing is me.” Interrupted the last student. Miss JP Miller looked over her shoulder at him, a spark of curiosity and enthusiasm entering her voice as she asked “What did you say?”

“Writing is me, it’s what I do; wherever possible it’s how I communicate. Like a lover it’s my first and last thought of the day, it defines every aspect of my personality, it is my history and my future, my breath, my food, my thirst. It is my waste, my sweat, my tears and my blood. Writing is me.”

The Rarest Breed - Rich Writers

We can't all do this
We can't all do this

I hope you enjoyed it

I hope you enjoyed this expose of the younger writer in me.

For every writer to develop it is important to write for the sake of writing. That is not to say that you cannot or should not explore commercial opportunities (even posting it here may earn me a few pence) but if you write purely for a financial return you are both setting yourself up to be disappointed and limiring the options to explore your writing and improve.

So for all those who love writing then I urge you to write first and worry about money later.

Oh, and read. Read LOTS.


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    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      4 years ago

      Thanks WC (I hope you don't mind the abbreviation).

      I love the reflective side of writing, and I always enjoy reading stories where the author writes a little about his/her process. I was trying to emulate that a little.

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 

      4 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Nicely done, Mark Lees!

      This is my first time visiting your section and let me say I like your approach. First, I like the way you seem to "host" or "introduce" your fiction; it kind of reminds me of TCM (The Turner Classic Movie Channel), where they show an old movie but Robert Osborne and a guest (often Drew Barrymore) introduce and discuss the film's significance for a few minutes before they show it.

      Second, I do always like fiction about the craft of writing. I happen to believe that real writers and real writing reflects upon itself, as you have done masterfully here.

      Third, let me say that I love the sentiment that you end the story on: Do what you are! Excellent! Writing is me----and you too, I see, Mark Lees.

      Again, well done!

    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      4 years ago

      Procrastination is the ultimate enemy of the writer - and it is the reason that deadlines were invented. ;)

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      4 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      I write because I'm a writer. My goal as a writer is to be ever more productive and to write ever better. A measure of being more productive and of writing better is increasing numbers of pleased readers of an increasing number of published works. If and as I make progress achieving those goals, I will make money--except that I also need to learn, as billybuc has written, to market my work. Opposing forces are procrastination and timid shyness. Advice for success as a writer: don't procrastinate and don't be shy. Every morning I intend to heed that advice, but I don't.

    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      5 years ago

      Beth writers should always read, read and read some more. Read different styles and different genres and you will learn so much.

      Never worry that your work doesn't compare, most of the big name writers had the same problem when they were starting out. The writers who don't worry may get commercial success but they are often not gifted writers (for fear of being sued I cannot name and writers who are not great but commercially successful but there was a very popular trilogy of erotic novels recently about a colour twixt black and white which comes to mind).

      Thanks for reading my hub and keep writing and reading.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      I just read a book of many stories (Finding the Words) where the authors took a poll and asked what readers expected from authors. There was a long list, but the one I liked best was that an author should always read more than he writes. I like that. Im writing a book and Im reading a good book. I worry they don't compare... that mine falls woefully short, but I press on. Otherwise... I've accomplished nothing. I write b/c I have too many words in me.

    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      5 years ago

      Thanks very much Ghaelach.

      Jane, substantive editors also have to know how stories work- so many time a great story is ruined by adding a superfluous character.

    • profile image

      Jane Arden 

      5 years ago

      Thanks for the tip Mark. I will give that a go. I have just finished writing a book (only a little one.) But I hate it now cos I've had to go through it SO many times. A bit like listening to the same song over and over again! Now I understand why editors are paid so much money. LOL

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Morning Mark.

      Enjoyed your hub and your story within a story.

      As with your students we all have are own individual reasons for writing. I do like the answer from the last student "Writing is me."

      LOL Ghaelach

      Europe 10:25am

    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      5 years ago

      Hi Cam, I think that is a lovely metaphor for a writer, the broken jigsaw. Thanks for the metephor and for reading.

    • Mark Lees profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Lees 

      5 years ago

      Jane, the trick to enjoying editing (or at least accepting it) for me was to keep a copy of the original draft. Whenever I start flagging with the editing and re-writes I just go back to the original piece and seeing how much it has improved re-heartens me - it worked so successfully that I am probably a bit too eager to get to the editing stage now. ;)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      5 years ago from Hartford, CT

      When I consider what it means to be a writer, not simply to write, but to be a writer, I can't help but think of boxes of jigsaw puzzles at thrift stores. When I see them, I just know that pieces are missing. And that's me when I don't write. I'm a puzzle with several pieces missing. I'm not complete, not fulfilled. Thanks for raising this thought provoking topic and doing such a fine job of exploring it.

    • profile image

      Jane Arden 

      5 years ago

      Yes, I did enjoy it Mark. I loved the diagrams too. I love to write - but hate to edit. Every time I read my own writing I see yet ANOTHER punctuation error that I have missed previously. You never know though, us mere mortals might become the next King, Rowling or Plath. We just have to keep persevering.


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