It's Not Real (a Funeral for a Friend)

Smite my eyes

to 'void the sight.

I keep saying

"It's not real."

But he's there,

ready to be unloaded

from the Reaper's

black mobile.

We pull the bars,

slide him out.

Funny, I think,

he feels so light.

But I keep thinking,

"It's not real."

Six of us hoist him up.

And the march begins.

guests in black

step aside to let us

help him complete

his final journey to

that cold, hard earth

on a pastoral green hill.

"It's not real."

I protest inside my head.

That cancer didn't lick him.

He told me he'd win

and I believed him.

And still, I want to believe.

But he's there,

in the box we carry,

looming closer to

Its finality.

"It's not real!"

I scream inside my head.

"Damnit! It's not real!"

We lay him down

near the mound of earth

and the hole it came from.

The pastor speaks, in remembrance,

"To a brave soul who lost the battle

and is now ready

to join his mother and father

in the hereafter."

Then it's over.

The casket lowers

and, we, the pallbearers

grab our dirt

and be the first

to lay him to rest.

And as I sprinkle that earth

upon the polished box,

I realize:

It's real,

despite my protest.

"It's real."

All too real.

This poem concludes a series a poems and short stories pertaining my friend's passing. This poem is based on that day when his family and friends (especially me) laid him to rest on the green hill overlooking San Pedro, L.A. Harbor and Catalina Island. In many respects, that day, 10 years ago, was a beautiful spring day. The sun was out. A light breeze blew from the north west and the Pacific Ocean outside the breakwaters seem to glisten under an intense blue sky.

It was the type of day one wouldn't expect for a somber event such as a funeral. The day was surreal; a glorious day for a sad and somber event. The poem reflects the feelings I had that day. I felt, at time, it was a dream and that somebody was going to wake me up from it. Even to this day, I have to remind myself that it did happen.

The one glaring reminder of that reality is that my friend is not here....rest in peace.